Archive for the 'Writing for healing' Category

Addicted to Writing

Published on January 30, 2012 in Creative Nonfiction, Healing With Words, Health, Uncategorized and Writing for healing.

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Dear Readers:

My new book WRITERS ON THE EDGE: 22 Writers Speak About Addiction and Dependence (Modern History Press) http://www.LHPress.com/writers, is being released on Wednesday, February 1st … Read about it and the idea of writers also being addicted to writing in my latest Huffington Post Post below:

Also, if you live in the greater Los Angeles area, come to the big book launch on February 25th at 4pm. Refreshments served. Surprise guests also!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diana-m-raab/the-need-to-write_b_1234878.html

Have a great week!

Diana

Telling Personal Stories

Published on January 9, 2012 in Author Blog, Baby Boomers, Creative Nonfiction, Depression, Huffington Post, Memoir, writer blog, writing, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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When I was in grade school I wanted to be a writer and one of the first things my English teacher told me was that to be a good writer you must be a good reader. Since that day, I have been a lover of books and have some ever-lasting visual memories of my mother taking me to the library and coming home with a stack of books piled all the way up to my chin.

My preference has always been to read real stories written by real people doing real things. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “No matter where you begin, read anything for five hours a day and you will soon be knowing.” My parents used to tell me that “knowledge is power,” and after having survived World War II and having lost most of their possessions as a result, they believed that knowledge was something that could not be taken away from you.

While growing up and through my teen years, I devoured biographies. I enjoyed compelling stories about spiritual journeys and also about other teens adjusting to the trials and tribulations of adolescence. Later, when my daughter got mixed up in a bad crowd, I sought stories written by other parents to help me cope with raising a strong-minded and rebellious adolescent. I even wrote a few of my own stories on the subject. When faced with cancer, I read cancer survivor stories. All these stories helped me navigate difficult times. Reading and learning about people in similar situations helped me realize that I was not alone in my journey.
The ringing in of a new year is a good time to come to grips with what might have plagued us in the previous year.

Journaling is a good way to do this, and another way is to read and hear the voices of others who have been in similar difficult situations. This was my impetus for compiling with co-editor, Jim Brown, my forthcoming anthology, Writers on The Edge: 22 Writers Discuss Dependency and Depression. As renowned author Jerry Stahl states in the foreword, “Open to any piece in this collection, and the scalding, unflinching, overwhelming truths within will shine light on places most people never look.” In fact these are the places many people want to visit – the dark places which are the most difficult to face. Many of us have experienced or at least been exposed to someone with an addiction or depression and the writers in this collection share their stories with honesty and candor. Some write as a cathartic exercise, while at the same time helping others through their own tenuous times. These short essays, confessions, or mini-memoirs share the author’s emotional truth about their addiction. The stories offer hope and ideas and all have a positive slant discussing addictions such as drugs, alcohol, food, sex, love, and gambling.

Poet Chase Twichell in her essay, “Toys in the Attic,” says, “A poem is a portrait of consciousness. It’s a recording of the motions of a mind in time, a mind communicating to others the experience of its own consciousness. When I read or write a poem, I’m trying to open a window between my mind and the minds of others. Poetry is written for others. But it’s also a study of the self, which is a private kind of work.”
In discussing memoir, William Zinnser in his classic book, Inventing the Truth, says, “Memoir is how we make sense of who we are, who we once were, and what values and heritage shaped us.” In another book, Writing About Your Life, he beautifully states, “We come from a tribe of fallible people, prisoners of our own destructiveness, and we have endured to tell the story without judgment and to get on with our lives.” The authors in Writers on the Edge do just that, whether they were involved in a twelve-step program or used writing as a healing modality—they have all succeeded despite their demons, and lead productive lives.

Reading the stories of others can help you learn about yourself. Discoveries are made, memories are revealed and wisdom is shared. Memoir writers courageously face the issues of their pasts and they can serve as role models for all of us. Their stories can provide an understanding of the inner workings of different types of people. Sometimes hearing someone else’s transformative story can inspire you to write your own, keeping in mind that the best writers allow the reader to formulate their own conclusion about the dark places that they or loved ones visit.

Please make your comments here and on where this article was originally published:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diana-m-raab/the-power-of-personal-sto_b_1187170.html

Have a super week!
Diana

Thank You Cancer ….

Published on October 23, 2011 in Author Blog, breast cancer, Healing With Words, Huffington Post, Journaling, writer blog and Writing for healing.

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Dear Readers

There is no cancer in my family, no cancer of any kind, except for mine. I am now 57 and it’s been 10 years since my diagnosis and I have never felt better.

Read more on my latest blog entry in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, on The Huffington Post

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/red-room/breast-cancer-surgery-_b_967025.html

Here’s to your health ..

Namaste,
Diana

Writers and Their Dark Places

Published on October 17, 2011 in 1960s, Author Blog, Blog, cathartic writing, Healing With Words, Huffington Post, writer blog and Writing for healing.

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When I was ten years old my grandmother and caretaker committed suicide in her bedroom beside mine. It was Labor Day weekend and I knocked on her bedroom door to see if I could swim in a friend’s pool. With a child’s intuition, I knew something was seriously wrong and phoned my mother at work. Within minutes, an ambulance arrived at the front door. They took my grandmother away on a stretcher and I never saw her again. The emotions and visuals from that experience left me with an indelible wound which writing helped me heal.

It was the 1960s, a time when children were not typically welcome at funerals. Instead, my mother bought me a gold-embossed Khalil Gibran journal with sayings on the top of each page. She left me with a babysitter and told me to write down my feelings on the pages of my new journal.

To read more … check out my blog post in THE HUFFINGTON POST..

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diana-m-raab/writers-and-their-dark-pl_b_994138.html


Have a good week !

Namaste,
Diana

The Magic of Number Ten

Published on August 22, 2011 in Author Blog, Creative Nonfiction, Creativity, General Information, Healing With Words, Health, Health and Wellness, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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I believe in and have a high regard for the number ten. In many ways, it’s regarded as the perfect number. Today, I have even more reason to believe in this number as I celebrate the 10th anniversary of my breast cancer survival. In my self-help memoir, Healing With Words: A Writer’s Cancer Journey, you can read about my journey. Also, at the end of each chapter there are writing prompts for you to do your own writing, whether about cancer or other life-changing events.

While we are on the ten-year-thing, here are some other reasons why I believe 10 is an important number:

• The number 10 implies a sense of completeness and full cycle
• A scale of 1 to 10 is used for ranking things
• There are 10 pins in a bowling lane
• There are 10 official inkblots in the Rorschach inkblot test
• The Snellen chart uses 10 different letters
• We have 10 digits on both our hands and feet
• Ten plagues were inflicted on Egypt in Exodus
• There are 10 Commandments – the cornerstone of Christianity and Judaism
• Jews observe 10 days of Repentance from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur
• There are 10 provinces in Canada
• In the Torah, Jews give 1/10 the of their produce to the poor
• The number 10 is the base of our number system
• In numerology the number 10 brings all sorts of new changes in your life

And finally Verse 10 in Jack Kerouac’s Sutra (Scripture of the Golden Eternity, 1960) says this:

“Kindness and sympathy, understanding and encouragement, these give; they are better than just presents and gifts: no reason in the world why not.”
~ Jack Kerouac

Wake Up Calls

Published on July 25, 2011 in Author Blog, Creativity, Healing With Words, Health and Wellness, Journals, July, Musings, Spirituality, writer blog, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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At one point in your life, you will have what is commonly known as a “wake up call,” or an “ah-ha moment” chances are you will be happier when a health problem causes you to wake up and pay attention to yourself and your body. A wake-up call is a cause for action. In fact, having a wake-up call can save your life. You never know when this might happen or how many wake up calls you might encounter in your lifetime, but in addition to taxes and death, these events are sure to arrive.

I have been blessed with numerous wake-up calls. I say blessed because they have all served me as inspiration and material for my life as a writer. As a result, my philosophy has been to embrace any difficulties or tumultuous times by trying to turn a negative experience into a positive one. In essence, it’s easier to understand and appreciate the light after we have experienced the dark.

Much of the key to happiness is making the most of a wake-up call. Recently, I picked up a book called, The Way of The Happy Woman by Sara Avant Stover which reminded me of the importance of tapping into these moments. The author suggests illuminating our compassion, beauty, sensuality, nurturing, creativity and receptivity – all attributes which remind us of who we are.

Although the book is written for women—the principles really apply to both sexes. It reminds us to embrace who we are and to honor self-love as a key to happiness and continued good health.

According to Stover, “Love is the essence of who we are. She says, and I agree, that at the end of our lives what really matters is “How well we loved.”

The basic tenet of the book is to simply slow down. As the Buddhists advocate—live in the moment. Stover says that the Chinese character for busyness translates as ‘heart killing.’

Summer is a fabulous time to slow down, watch the flowers grow and children play. Summer is also a good time to crack open a new journal. I was delighted that in the book’s first chapter, Stover had an extensive section on how to do this. She discussed the power of journaling and how over the course of her lifetime, journals have been her best friend and were there for her as she chronicled various milestones. She provides many similar journaling tips as I do in my own classes. For example:

• visit your favorite book or stationary store and choose a journal which resonates with you
• write your name and the date on the top of the page
• make a list of what’s on your mind at this moment and/or something you have not been able to talk to anyone about
• from your list choose the one you most want to explore in your journal
• list three of your strongest emotions about the situation and where you feel them in your body
• write three ways you can support yourself during difficult times (i.e. deep breathing, walking, exercising, meditating, gratitude journaling)

This book offers many tips, but I think the most pertinent one is that journaling will help you with self-expression which is also important when it comes to your connection with others, and saying what is on your mind, and helping your figure out what brings you pleasure.

So whether you have had a recent wake-up call or not, try this: Tomorrow morning, wake up and say, “Today I choose happiness.”

Compelling Confessions

Published on June 27, 2011 in Author Blog, Creative Nonfiction, Memoir and Writing for healing.

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This past week I taught a workshop at the Santa Barbara Writers’ Conference called “From Notebook to Memoir.”

http://www.sbwriters.com/

For the most part, the workshop emphasized how to use the scribblings in your notebooks to craft a memoir. In reality, those scribblings include random thoughts, lists and confessions. A well-crafted memoir exhibits a confessional tone and tells the emotional truth of a story. I told my students that often writing about personal experiences can be cathartic and should make us feel good. However, there are times when confessing can hurt and at those times it’s simply best to stop writing and do something else.

A recent article in Spirituality and Health called “Why Confession Feels So Good,” by Peggy La Cerra focused on the confessions one makes in church but it had some salient points to ponder outside of the church setting.

http://www.spiritualityhealth.com/mag
azine/2011-may-june/2011-may-june.html

For example, “Humans across various traditions and cultures have developed rituals that serve the purpose of purging the participants of residual guilt and shame.” For example, those involved in groups such as Weight Watchers and twelve-step programs for addiction, must report their faults, shortcomings and weaknesses to their sponsors; Buddhists report to their superiors; Jews make their confessions to God and atone on holidays like Yom Kippur; Muslims confess to Allah and Christians confess at Church to a minister, pastor or priest and do penance.

These days, many of these practices are being scrutinized and personally I prefer the confessions that go onto the pages of a journal, possibly to be turned into poetry or memoir. I recently picked up a volume on my bookshelf which I had bought years ago called, After Confession: Poetry as Autobiography edited by Kate Sontag & David Graham. The issues with bad confessional poetry are similar to those with bad memoir and this is addressed in the early part of the book. The editor deftly states: “Aesthetically speaking, personal poems can go wrong in many ways: they might indulge in the elevation of trivial or merely uninteresting domestic detail; they might simply whine, recounting; they might ignore important aspects of the world beyond the poet’s doorstep and thus remain cloistered in the prison of self; they might mistake the tawdry or sensational for the boldly honest; and in fact, they might fall anywhere along the deadly spectrum that runs from cocktail-party bore to megalomaniac.”

These are precisely the points I make in my memoir class. I believe the most important point is that in order to craft a compelling memoir, the writer needs to identify a universal truth that their readers can relate to and more times than not, this can be a challenge.

The New Psychoanalysis

Published on May 16, 2011 in Author Blog, Creative Nonfiction, Depression, Gary Shteyngart, Psychology, Psychology Today, Regina's Closet, writer blog and Writing for healing.

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The New Psychoanalysis

In the 1960s my grandmother was depressed and eventually committed suicide because she could no longer live with the torment of her life as an orphan following World War I (see Regina’s Closet: Finding My Grandmother’s Secret Journal, 2007). Back in the1960s no one suggested she see a psychotherapist. Those appointments were primarily reserved for the ‘real’ mentally ill, ‘crazy, or dysfunctional persons. The best her family doctor could offer was a prescription valium. In the end, it was this prescription which she used to end her life. In reality, this form of treatment was a band aid rather than a solution. Thankfully, now nearly fifty years later, this is no longer the case—therapy is suggested to those with all sorts of problems.

Chances are you or someone you know has had therapy. If you live in places such as California (like me), you might even find yourself discussing your intimate therapy sessions with friends at a cocktail party – something still frowned upon in other parts of the country.

In the June 2011 issue of Psychology Today, writer Mary Knight Raskin explores the trends in analysis and how psychotherapy, as developed by Sigmund Freud, recently celebrated its 100th anniversary. She discusses the benefits of therapy and how it can help a person go from leading a dysfunctional to a functional lifestyle.

She uses the example of writer, Gary Shteyngart, author of three best-selling novels. Prior to his writing career, the author’s life was in a state of major dysfunction. The chaos began at the age of seven, when he and his family immigrated from Leningrad to New York City. Being uplifted from his homeland left a deep scar on the young man, resulting in feelings of alienation and depression. In his twenties the feelings got so intense that he embarked on the journey of psychoanalysis with success as it lead to a productive writing career.

Over the years, experts realized that a lot happens in the subconscious part of our minds. Although there have been changes in how psychotherapy has been practiced since its inception a century ago, the basic premise as to what makes us tick has not changed. For example, the role of the unconscious mind is still strong and it is still believed that childhood experiences create a template for adult behavior. Talking about these experiences (in moderation) can lead to a greater understanding of the adult self, helping us figure out why we do what we do and how we can be a better person as a result. Understanding these experiences and behaviors can lead to positive changes and potential enlightenment.

Remember that we are a complex and multi-layered species. Chances are a single perspective or therapy will not provide enough information or ideas to foster significant change. In the end it is a combination of modalities which can help us become our best selves.

Keeping Time : 150 Years of Journaling

Published on February 28, 2011 in Author Blog, autobiographies, breast cancer, Depression, Healing With Words, Health and Wellness, Journaling, Journals, writer blog, writing, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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A few years back I submitted some very personal journal entries to a proposed anthology. I was delighted to hear that Keeping Time: 150 years of Journal Writing edited by Mary Azrael and Kendra Kopelke was recently published. This is a rare collection of journal entries all under one cover. As the editors state in their poignant introduction, “For many people, journal writing is a private activity, spontaneous and revealing, not intended for an audience of strangers.” But these editors did a stellar job of putting together 37 wonderful pieces with subjects ranging from everyday life parental issues, raising children, nature, travel, health and historical events. “Keeping Time,” they go on to say, “stands as witness to the times spanning from our great grandparents to today. It opens a way into our history at its most intimately and sincerely felt, and expands our sense of what a notebook can do to connect us more fully to our lives.”

My submission represented the year 2001, and I have posted it below:

I have been keeping a journal since the age of ten. Over the years, my journal has been my friend and confidant to help me through difficult times. I strongly believe in the powerful healing qualities of the written word.
Today, I teach journaling to breast cancer survivors and high-risk teens. During my breast cancer journey, writing became my lifeline and a way to give voice to my deepest feelings.

The following is an excerpt from my memoir/self-help book, HEALING WITH WORDS: A WRITER’S CANCER JOURNEY.

August 22 (one-day post-op)
I wake up in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) today and Simon sits beside me holding my hand. One part of me wants to look down at the hospital gown covering this corset-like gauze bandage around my chest. Yet another part of me is scared out of my mind. The nurse helps me to the bathroom and I avoid the mirror as if it holds the most dreaded secret. I want to rip it off the bathroom wall. I never want to see myself naked. While walking back to bed, I look over at Simon and begin sobbing with no respite. I know in my heart that one day soon I will have to look at my chest. My hope is that my plastic surgeon will make all the necessary explanations. I am happy that the surgery is behind me, but now I must begin preparing to walk down an even more arduous road. I must get used to the new me.

August 23
Today my mood oscillates back and forth. One moment I want to touch my newly-created breast and the next minute I never want to see it. I am pleased that the reconstruction was done immediately following the mastectomy. After breakfast, I pulled the nurse’s cord to help me sit up. I am terribly sore from being in one position. By the time she arrives moments later, I have already changed my mind. I put my hand over my right breast and feel nothing. I do the same on the left. I can only feel the slight pressure of my hand. How will I ever get used to having no sensations. My right nipple had always been more sensitive than and easily stimulated than my left, but now there is a sense of nothingness, numbness, a void.

Today the nurse removed the bandage around my chest. I looked the other way while crying into my pillow. I felt nothing. My plastic surgeon said some sensations might eventually return, but never again could I become sexually aroused on my right side. So, I have two breasts, but really only one. My sensations have been severed forever. Never again would I experience that sublime tingling when Simon runs his fingers over my rather large nipple—never again on that side. Never could I experience the joy and tingles from let-down reflex when my babies sucked for the first time. I loved that sensation which permeated my soul and brought me such joy.

August 27
The books I have read, and my nursing experience warned me that depression is common following many surgeries, particularly breast surgery, because of the huge psychological component of losing a breast. I should be optimistic because my breast surgeon says that the cancer has been removed. He says I am lucky that it did not spread into my lymph nodes. Yes, this is a true blessing, but there are moments when this is not enough to console me. My father taught me to look at the glass half full and not half empty. I’m trying. Really trying. But, this entire event has been surreal. My defenses are stripped. I have no strength left in my body except for the weeping. Tears flow like an endless river. They pour out without warning and dry up without notice.

August 28
I look around me and see all the technology. I think of my husband, an engineer, and how people like himself have made mine and so many others’ survival possible. He is a fixer. On so many other occasions he wants to quickly make everything better for me. His smile and touch are so healing. He has so much power, but he cannot bring my breast back to me. He says he wishes he had a magical wand to make me feel better. I tell him that the wand was discarded the day it brought him into my life. One person cannot be bestowed with any more luck than me. He implores me to think positively.

Sometimes life is not so simple. I don’t want to say this to him because he tries so hard to soothe me. It’s still early in my post-operative period, but I already feel physically and emotionally changed and drained. In some ways it is easier being far from home. My predicament somehow seems clearer and my mind less distracted by familiar surroundings.

September 3
Today I am nearly two weeks post-op. I do not feel any better emotionally than the day they rolled me out of the cold and sterile operating room. My emotional strength is barely returning. I still get teary-eyed for no obvious reason. This morning, the nurses bathed me. They helped me to the chair where I tried reading a magazine, but my mind wandered. Everything makes me cry, even glancing at the latest hairstyles in the magazine. I feel trapped inside this body that I don’t know anymore.

Here’s what I look like. On my right side is a drainage tube tucked into a hole beneath my mastectomy site. On the same side, another tube leads to the incision in my back where they have removed the muscle and tissue to cup my saline implants. The tube leads to this thing that looks like a hand grenade which dangles from my side. This grenade drains the blood from my wounds, but I think it does the same from my heart. It needs to be emptied three times each day. It’s gross and yet another reminder of my missing breast. When we go to dinner at the hotel’s restaurant, the only thing I can wear are baggy men’s shirts to hide my tube and stupid grenade.

Getting up and going to the bathroom is such an ordeal. I need at least ten minutes to prepare for the departure from my bed. Getting all the wires organized is truly a monumental task. I cannot lean on my back; the drainage tube sticks straight out. I cannot lean on my right side—another tube. They hurt like hell. There are no more comfortable positions left for me. Jeannine [mother-in-law] asked if I have been writing. She must be kidding! I have so much to write about, but I cannot focus. My mind wanders beyond belief. Life is fuzzy and not even eyeglasses can help. I am just plain frustrated. I can only muster these few words and even these exhaust all of my energy.

September 4
Today I will go visit my plastic surgeon. It seems as if the past couple of weeks have been surreal. A thick cloud suspends over me. How did I get here? I was diligent about my annual mammograms and check-ups. On the first day of my menstrual cycle I diligently did self-breast exams in the shower. There is no cancer in my family. Why am I lying here all mutilated?

I have never thought much about cancer, but one thing I know is that if cancer is in your body, you better get it out quickly. Having had reconstructive surgery at the same time as my mastectomy has put my mind at ease. Even though I have refrained from looking at myself naked in the mirror, there was a sense of relief to waking up with a mound on my right side, even if it was not my own breast, but just a sack of saline water.

September 6
I’m trying to take the position that cancer is no longer lurking inside of me. I did have cancer, but it is now all gone. All of it. I don’t like the sound of the term ‘breast cancer.’ People equate cancer with death. I refuse to die.
When I first learned about my breast cancer, I wanted to hear everybody else’s escapades and everyone’s medical sagas. It seems that everyone knows someone who has had breast cancer. This is not surprising since the statistics have now risen to one in eight women. Listening to other people’s stories is boring at times, and at other times scary. Sometimes it’s inspiring to learn that others are less fortunate than me. The woman in the corridor told me about her stage III cancer. Okay, she made me feel lucky, but I just don’t want to be surrounded by negative energy.

I am so afraid that the cancer will come back. I cry about losing the breast and also about having to lose my other one. Crying comes so easily. Sometimes the tears last a few minutes, other times an hour. It all depends.

Keeping Time is available from Amazon at the link below, and it is a wonderful read. I surely hope you take the time to order and read it.

http://www.amazon.com/Keeping-Time-Years-Journal-Writing/dp/0963138545/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1297999546&sr=8-1

The Art of Rejection : Giving and Receiving

Published on February 7, 2011 in Author Blog, autobiographies, General Information, Musings, writer blog and Writing for healing.

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This past weekend I attended the annual AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) in DC, the largest writing conference in the country. There were 5000+ attendees. I was honored to moderate a panel discussion entitled, “The Art of Rejection: Giving and Receiving.” My esteemed panelists included Molly Peacock, Philip F. Deaver, Geeta Kothari, Wendy Call and Kevin Watson. Each panelist made a presentation on various aspects of rejection.

I introduced our topic by thanking all the editors and publishers in the audience who in the past have rejected my work, which inspired me to pull this panel together. Here’s a glimpse at my introductory remarks:

Rejection is inherent to many aspects of life, and the literary life is no exception. Rejections happen to emerging writers, published writers and literary greats. For example, Normal Mailer’s The Naked and the Dead was rejected by 11 publishers before it was accepted; Elie Weisel’s classic book Night was turned down by at least 15 publishers. Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead—which now sells 150,000 copies a year—was turned down at least a dozen times.

If we let them, rejections can suck our spirits of their very essence. So, why do we torture ourselves like this? The reason is that rejection is a rite of passage in an author’s life. In order to ease the sting of receiving a rejection letter and to grow stronger as a result, it is important to understand what they are and what they are not, how to cope with them and how to move on.

A rejection slip says nothing about your potential. It is not a rejection of you as an individual nor the value of your writing endeavors, but rather, it is the rejection of a piece of work submitted for possible publication.

If you’re an editor or publisher and also a writer, the task of giving a rejection can be equally difficult. When I owned a small publishing company back in the 1980s I made sure each writer received a personal rejection letter, because I understood what it was like being on the other side.

Saul Bellow says, “Rejections are not altogether a bad thing. They teach a writer to rely on his own judgment and to say in his heart of hearts, “To hell with you.”

The panelists all had wonderful insights and we finished with a lively Q & A session. I was delighted that at the end of the panel a gentleman came to the podium and reached out to shake my hand. “I just want to say that I was not one of the editors to reject your work.” I looked down at his badge and it was Jay Rubin, the editor of a wonderful publication, Alehouse. I smiled and thanked him for accepting my essay some years back called, “The Poet’s Notebook.” Thanks again, Jay!