Archive for the 'Anais Nin' Category

Writing Is Cheaper Than Therapy

Published on March 26, 2012 in 1960s, Anais Nin, Author Blog, cathartic writing, Creativity, Depression, Health and Wellness, New York Times, writer blog, writing and Writing for healing.

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My colleagues and I would not be the first writers who write to dissipate pain. For example, D.H. Lawrence sat at his mother’s bedside and while she was dying, he wrote poems about her, and an early draft of Sons and Lovers, his novel which explored their complicated, loving, painful and close relationship. Marcel Proust wrote Remembrance of Things Past while sick in bed with asthma. Flannery O’Connor wrote some of her best stories while dying from lupus.

May Sarton and Anaïs Nin wrote in their diaries to pull them through difficult times. In her book, Recovering, May Sarton chronicles her battles with depression and cancer. Anaïs Nin used her journals to address her deranged father who left the family when she was young. Nin’s journal entries became a four-volume collection of published books.

James Pennebaker, the author of Writing to Heal says “Writing dissolves some of the barriers between you and others. If you write, it’s easier to communicate with others.” Pennebaker believes that there’s a certain type of writing which erupts when we’re faced with loss, death, abuse, depression and trauma. He does have one rule that he calls, “the flip out rule,” which proclaims that if you get too upset when writing, then it’s probably best to stop.
Whether affected by change, loss or pain, finding the time and courage to write can support the healing process. Some people prefer to write nonfiction, while others may choose fiction or poetic modalities to help them express their thoughts and feelings. Each writer must choose the genre most compatible with their stories, sensibilities and personalities, choosing what liberates and empowers them. In the end, this is what healing is all about.

A writer friend (thanks KB!) who is an avid reader of this blog, just forwarded me an article from the magazine section of the New York Times (March 23, 2012), called, “Why Talk Therapy is on the Wane and Writing Workshops Are on the Rise,” by Steve Almond. Coincidentally, I met Steve at AWP a number of years ago, where he was on a panel and I remember him not only because his talk was compelling, but because he stood at the side of the podium giving away copies of his newly-release book, an unusual gesture for writers. As the son of two therapists, he truly knows what he is talking about. In this article, he defends writing as a cure, particularly in this boom of memoir and biography and the idea, as he states, that “artists should be forged by the fires of ‘real life.’” Almond is teaching a workshop for those in their 50s and 60s (yes, my age group) and admits that it does not really matter whether they become published writers or not. The important thing is that the students “have found a way to face the toughest truths within themselves, to begin to make sense of them, and maybe even beauty. In a world that feels increasingly impersonal and atomized, I can’t think of a more thrilling mission,” he concludes.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Published on June 13, 2011 in Anais Nin, cathartic writing, Creativity, Decisions, Heuristic, inspiration, Wray Herbert, writer blog and Writers and Their Notebooks.

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I often tell my students that if they are encountering turbulent times or having difficulty making a decision, whether it is large or small, they should use their journal to help figure out their answers. No doubt, some decisions are easier to make than others. Writing in your journal can help you make decisions by identifying the potential risks and gains of a situation. Journaling can help you come to grips with what is really going on. Writing empowers us.

In a recent article in U.S. News & World Report (special edition: Secrets of Your Brain) there was an excerpt from a new book called, One Second-Thought: Outsmarting Your Minds’ Hard-Wired Habits by Wray Herbert. The author discusses the concept of heuristics which refers to the experience-based techniques which help us make decisions. He discusses how over time humans have evolved these cognitive rules of thumb. Heuristics can help us efficiently navigate the many choices we are faced with every day. The author postulates that even though heuristics comes in handy, they are at times imperfect and irrational. Sometimes using heuristics can be a trap because we might become lazy and not think through certain decisions.

The author discusses the various types of heuristics, including: the familiarity heuristic, default heuristic and the acceptance heuristic. The familiarity heuristic is a result of habit and experience and it is almost automatic. The default heuristic refers to us having a powerful bias for sticking with a decision we have once made. In other words, we don’t want to rock the boat. It’s the safe, stay-the-course impulse which, in the past has provided good results. Constant switching back and forth about what to do, can be perilous, in regard to all decisions including financial and romantic. As a result we have become adverse to hopping around. The acceptance heuristic illustrates our overpowering tendency to make choices which others approve of. It’s about being safe and feeling a sense of belonging to society. This is connected to the idea of group dynamics.

Many studies have been done on the subject of decision-making. While some people have difficulty making decisions and are scared about the possibility of making the wrong decision, others find the task of making a decision quite easy.

My readings taught me that those with the following traits, tend to make easier and more efficient decisions:

1. good self-esteem
2. honesty with oneself
3. loving oneself
4. having courage

One of the best ways to make a personal decision is through self-talk and one of the best ways to do this is through the practice of regular journaling.

“Once you make a decision, says Emerson, “the universe conspires to make it happen.”

The Magic of a Good Book

Published on January 24, 2011 in Anais Nin, Author Blog, Creativity, General Information, inspiration, Reading, The Catcher in the Rye, writer blog and writing.

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What makes a good book? What makes it hang around for so many years? Why is it that some books you are unable to put down? Many people have speculated on the answer to this question. Personally, I’m not so sure what makes a book timeless. Let us speculate together.

When you cannot put a book down, it might indicate that the author logically composed the book and that the book flows intuitively. The story and its characters are believable. A believable character is also one who wants something. In fact, the author might spend an entire book helping them character get what he or she wants. It has been said that an unmet desire is what makes a story move forward. In fact, when the protagonist gets what they want, the story is usually over.

I also believe that voice makes a good book. The voice is the individual writing style of a writer and what distinguishes one writer from the next. Voice refers to the tone and feeling of the writing, accomplished and this is done through word choice and sentence structure. It is the way an author’s writing sounds on the page, whether it be friendly, formal, chatty or distant. Every writer has a distinct voice and it is this plot which propel a story forward. Often the voice in memoir is easier to detect, because it’s written in the first person.

One of my favorite first-person booksis still as popular as it was at the time of its first release in 1951—Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger who died about one year ago at the age of ninety-one. Salinger used the repetition of certain words which helped to establish both voice and the character development of his protagonist, Holden Caulfield.

In summary, a good classic book teaches you a great deal about life, enriches your mind, provides you with a moral and reveals a passion worth investigating.

Here’s a partial list of some of my favorite books, in no particular order. Perhaps you can share some of yours:

Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
La Comedie Humaine by Honore Balzac
The Journals of Anaïs Nin
The Executioner’s Song by Norman Mailer
Ahab’s Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff
The Color of Water by James McBride
Blue Angel by Francine Prose
Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
The Liar’s Club by Mary Karr
My Invented Country by Isabel Allende
Darkness Invisible by William Styron
Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
A Separate Piece by John Knowles
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
My Antonia by Willa Cather
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse

Happy Columbus Day – Happy Day of Discovery !

Published on October 11, 2010 in Anais Nin, Author Blog, Journaling, Journals, writer blog, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling. Tags: , , , , , .

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Today we celebrate Columbus Day, the arrival of Columbus in the Americas back on October 12, 1492. When I was a child we celebrated on the actual day, but times have changed and protocols have evolved. These days, we have gotten greedy for 3-day weekends so this and other national holiday celebrations now conveniently fall on Mondays. It’s funny how it works for National holidays but not for birthdays and anniversaries, but this would be the subject of yet another blog.

I wonder what would have happened if Columbus did not arrive in America on that fall day back in 1492. Where would we all be now? Would we even be? It’s scary to think that one action like a boat ride, one decision and one discovery can affect an entire global destiny. The idea of discovery has always fascinated me.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, “discovery” is defined as “the act of finding something unexpectedly or in the course of a search.” Certainly we have all had discoveries in our lives which have changed us forever. Today, I would like to honor those discoveries.

For me, there were many signposts in my life that changed me forever. For example, arriving for work at my future father-in-law’s farm in 1972 and unexpectedly meeting my husband-to-be. Who would have thought that when our parents discovered one another in a hotel restaurant that they would become good friends and the following summer I would end up working at their nursery in Canada. From a literary standpoint, I was delighted during my MFA Program at Spalding University to discover the diaries of Anaïs Nin, who has served as my inspiration for so many years now. Nin began her journals at eleven during a boat trip from Europe to New York with her mother and two brothers. The journal began as a letter to her estranged father who years earlier left the family to live with a younger woman. Over the years, Nin’s journals, like mine, became her best friend and confidante. Initially she had no intention of publishing the journals which amounted to more than 15,000 typewritten pages and 150 volumes, but in 1966 she found a publisher who published the series. Today, there are seven volumes available.

I am not sure whether my journals will be as interesting to future generations. Nin’s are extremely sensuous and philosophical. Mine are more stream-of-consciousness in nature. Nin studied psychoanalysis with Otto Rank and Carl Jung. Her journals were a true sampling of a woman’s voyage of self-discovery and a source of inspiration for women and men world-wide. Her journals were more than simple diaries, as each volume had a theme and included numerous letters to her intimate friends, including her lover, Henry Miller. She believed that self-knowledge through journaling was the source of our personal liberation. Amen, Anaïs.

DEAR READERS: I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SPECIAL DISCOVERIES !

The Art of Letter Writing

Published on August 9, 2010 in Anais Nin, Author Blog, cathartic writing, Creative Nonfiction, Creativity, Healing With Words, Letter Writing, Musings, writer blog, writing, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling. Tags: , , , , , .

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The letter can be a vital tool to clarify your feelings to either yourself or to others. The purpose of a letter might be to inform, instruct, entertain, amuse, explore psychological problems, keep in touch, or offer love. The advent of the telephone was viewed as a replacement for letter writing, but with the birth of email, there seems to be a resurgence of the age-old art of letter writing.

Many people use  letter writing to release pent-up emotions, such as complaint letters to companies about a malfunctioning product  or letters to the editor about a pressing current event. Typically, when confronting someone on an issue, it’s easier (and healthier) to blow up on the page rather than directly toward the person. Letters are also a good venue to gather your thoughts first, and can be used as a segue to discussion.

Most writers are good letter writers. Authors such as Pam Houston, Fenton Johnson and Shawn Wong frequently write letters. Wong views letter writing as practice for his craft. He says:

“When I was eighteen I started thinking about becoming a writer but as an undergraduate student and later as a graduate student in creative writing, I didn’t really have a career as a writer so I wrote letters, sometimes as many as five or six letters a day. In looking back at the thousands of pages of letters, I realize those letters were how I practiced my writing.”

Author, John McPhee, once said that every book he wrote began with the words, “Dear Mother.” His letters didn’t typically usually end up in his published book, but serves its purpose—it gets him writing. Diarist Anaïs Nin began her first journal entry as a letter to her deranged father as a way to remain connected with him, although she also never sent it. In fact, it is not always necessary to send letters. Sometimes the exercise in writing the letter is all that is needed to clear the mind and calm the psyche.

Some writers use the letter form to warm up their writing. Sometimes it helps to one get into the swing of a story and helps to develop voice. Many, such as myself, write letters in their journal, particularly if they’re having difficulty developing a character in their story.

Others may decide to write letters to their pets. You can really write to whoever or whatever inspires you. It is important to date your letters and in case you decide to send the letter, to keep a copy of it. In the future, it will be amusing and informative to reread your letters, plus you never know how their contents may be used in a future literary work.

When beginning a letter, the best way to start is to say what prompted you to write the letter or why you were thinking of the person at that particular time. The letters we most enjoy receiving are those which carry the writer’s personality. When reading well-written letters we feel as if the person is sitting beside us, looking at us and speaking to us.

Perhaps the most satisfying aspect of letter writing is the opportunity to communicate exactly what’s on your mind. What more could a writer ask for than a specific, hand-picked, captivated reader? So, if you could say anything you wanted to anyone in the world, who would you address?  What would you say?  Sit down, take out a sheet of paper or crack open your journal, choose your audience and begin your journey!

Some Letter-Writing Tips

•                Use simple and easy to understand sentences

•                Avoid using complicated and long words

•                Be specific

•                Break your letter into small parts or paragraphs

•                Make sure your voice or tone is appropriate to the subject of the letter

•                For clarity, read the letter aloud

•                Write, rewrite and polish your letter

Happy New Year — resolutions, yes or no?

Published on January 4, 2010 in Anais Nin, inspiration, Journaling, Journals, New Year, Notebooks and Writing, journaling.

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I made no resolutions for the New Year.  The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me. — Anaïs Nin

It’s 2010 and this is the first year I toasted the New Year without any resolutions. What’s the point, we never keep them anyway! Instead of pronouncing my resolutions over a glass of champagne, I decided to write mine in my journal. First and foremost, I decided to slow down a bit this year, do more reading and less published writing. Four books in eighteen months has given me a little bit of heartburn and although I’m happy about my accomplishments, I’m somewhat tired of reviewing galleys.

During the holidays, I read two books—Mary Karr’s third memoir, Lit which was great, but just a continuation of the tragic drama in her life. It’s mind-boggling how one woman my own age could have already written three memoirs. I bow to her writing style and story. The second book I read is one which has to do with my written New Year’s Resolution and it’s called, Awakening The Buddhist Within by Lama Surya Das. The first chapter is called, ‘Contemplating Your Life,’ which for me will be the subject of 2010, the year my first child gets married. Das writes in a very compelling and easy-to-understand manner and much of what he says appears to be common sense, but it’s nice to see it on the page. He says that self-reflection helps us heal our lives and accept any problems we have and realize that something might need to be changed. He says that everything in our life depends on our relationship with the self, the world and the other. He says that when something is going on inside your head, chances are it will have something to do with at least one of these parameters.

On the path to happiness, he suggests sitting down and trying to change one of these relationships. He poses some interesting questions which can make great journaling prompts. Try these:

  • Where do you want to be in a month, a year, five years, ten years?
  • What or who might you be if you were given the choice or the chance?
  • If someone gave you a cosmic credit card what would you do with it?
  • What do you want to do with your creativity?
  • What would you do about your compassion for others? How would or could you help others?
  • Who am I and who can I be?

In summary, the tenets of Buddhism includes being mindful or pleased in the pleasures of the moment. Focus on the words, ‘just this here and now,’ while you inhale and exhale (important part) and simplify, simplify, simplify and remember what the Buddha said, “Wherever we go, wherever we remain, the results of our actions follow us.”

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU AND THANKS FOR BEING FAITHFUL READERS!!

What Moves You?

Published on December 7, 2009 in Anais Nin, Creative Nonfiction, inspiration, Journaling, Musings, Poetry, writing and Writing, journaling.

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This was a question frequently posed by my mentor, Anaïs Nin, and today I pose the question to you, my readers. During the past few weeks I have been in the midst of what could aptly be called a literary slump. Thankfully, my recent sojourn to Paris healed me. Many writers, both living and dead, have professed that you should write what you know—but I will take this thought one step further and suggest that you write what you are passionate about or what moves you. The energy of your passion will be enough to carry your creative energy across the page.

Beyond writing about what interests you, the question is: what do writers do when they simply cannot be ‘moved?’What do they do when their pen stalls on the page and words do not churn out as quickly as they would like?

The Poets & Writers website has a section called, “Writers Recommend,” which is a collection of interviews with writers whose work has previously appeared on their pages. In this section, writers discuss what inspires them and what they might do to stimulate their creative juices. I believe many of these suggestions apply to all creative persons. Many of the writers’ responses may seem obvious to my readers, but it is amusing, nevertheless, to see these ideas all lumped together. Below is a summary of the most interesting and helpful tips offered by these writers, some which have been used for centuries by artists and writers alike. My recent trip to Paris was a testament to their efficacy because I have returned to the U.S. with a heightened literary charge. In fact, during my week in Paris, I managed to fill up an entire leather journal, accompanied by jottings on my laptop of future article ideas.

Here’s a summary:

1)    Go to places that inspire you—whether it is a bookshop, local park or café

2)    Read the works of your favorite writers to stimulate or alter your own world

3)    Sit somewhere outside of your typical writing area

4)    Do something different to recharge your battery, like learning a new hobby or sport

5)    Drink coffee, sip alcohol or use other mood-altering vices… in moderation, of course

6)    Listen to music

In addition to this list, there are other things I personally do to stimulate my own creativity or to give me a literary boost. For example, I might visit my local bookstore or library, walk around and pick up a  book which interests me and skim through its pages. I might carefully study the Edward Hopper print on my writing studio wall, which depicts a woman reading her book in a moving train. Something about her demeanor and sense of calm stimulates my creativity. For some poetic inspiration, I might focus on one image or emotion for an extended period of time and this might percolate into a poem. Sometimes while traveling, (which I frequently do because all three of my children live on the east coast), I might write a poem on a hotel pad, in the same way that William Carlos Williams used to draft poetry on prescription pads between patients. Speaking of Williams, while in Paris, I visited one of the three or four English bookstores, The Red Wheelbarrow.

The Red Wheel Barrow

So much depends

upon

a red wheel

barrow

glazed with rain

water

beside the white

chicken.

Et voila! Here’s to inspiration. Let me hear from you as to what you might do to get your own creative juices churning and if you found any of my tips useful.

Journaling Your Heart

Published on February 22, 2009 in Anais Nin, Journaling, Journals, Notebooks, Poetry and Writing, journaling.

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I am reading a wonderful book written by a woman I met at AWP. It’s called, Foolsgold by Susan G. Wooldgridge, who also wrote another masterpiece called, Poemcrazy.

She came to my book signing because she was drawn to the title of my poetry book, Dear Anaïs: My Life in Poems for You. She told me she had a letter from Anais and she even quoted it in her recent book. After talking for about half an hour we revealed a deep connection through our mutual friend Anaïs.

 

In the first chapter of her book, Susan mentions how most of her life she ignored her body’s impulses as if they were bothersome, like her physical heart didn’t exist. She began watching for heart shapes and noticed how her heart felt, reacted and how they live in her body and ultimately might have prepared her for her father’s death.[ She encourages her readers to speak to their hearts and shares how scientists say there are brain cells in the heart. She suggests writing a letter beginning with, “Dear Heart,” to see where it leads you. Taking it one step further, she also suggests allowing the heart to write back and offer answers. Just paying attention to your heart, she says, opens it up and allows you to be creative in healing ways.

 

I am now hooked on her way of thinking and can’t wait to read the rest of the book and maybe even incorporate her writing exercises in my classes.

What Books Nourish You?

Published on November 13, 2008 in Anais Nin, General Information, Musings, Poetry, Reading and writing. Tags: , , , , , .

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Over the years, my attitude has changed. I used to not be a fan of rereading books, proclaiming that there are simply too many books to read.

But now as a seasoned writer and one who studies the works of my favorite authors, I’ve changed my view on this. I believe it’s important for writers to have books near them which provide nourishment and inspiration.

Anaïs Nin believed that the books which nourish us are not books which tell us how things are, but rather books which show us how to change things in our lives. Nourishing books give us a feeling of being pushed into life. They are books which make us smile and stand proud. They are books we don’t want to sell to the used books stores each time we relocate. They are books which travel with us from residence to residence or from town to town.

For me sometimes the most nourishing book is poetry and sometimes it’s fiction and other times it’s memoir. As a teenager, the most nourishing book for me was Salinger’s book, Catcher in The Rye. As a budding writer, I was fascinated by his honesty and candor and wondered how one could write in a way that was easy for everyone to understand. I also loved the writings of the prophet Khalil Gibran and the poetry of Rod McKuen. I admired their simplicity.

These days, the books which follow me from residence to residence are the journals of Anaïs Nin, the novels of Balzac, Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s One, Norman Mailer’s Executioner’s Song and Flaubert’s Madame Bovary. On those days when my attention span is shorter, I might gravitate to my favorite quotation books for the fuel for my creations, and the poetry of Billy Collins is always my favorite, no matter my mood. 

What books nourish you?

 

Make Love (Not War) With Your Notebook

Published on October 18, 2008 in Anais Nin, Journaling, Journals, Musings, Notebooks and Writing, journaling. Tags: .

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“Make love with your notebook.”

Lately, this has been my motto. And there are two reasons why. First, I’m preparing for a one-hour radio interview on WCUF to promote my new poetry collection. I have been making notes about my mentor and most-admired female writer, Anais Nin. Second, as I mention in the book’s preface, Nin has taught me the importance of having love in my life.

Ever since my first journal entry at the age of ten, I have made a habit of writing about those people who have brought joy and love into my life.Many people turn to journals to record their troubles, I believe it is equally healing to write about all the good in our lives. This is particularly important during moments like this when there is so much uncertainly and anger circulating in our country.

So let’s join together for a moment, stop what we are doing and write about all those people who brighten up our day with love and positive energy.