Archive for the 'Psychology Today' Category

The Stress of Deadlines

Published on September 19, 2011 in Author Blog, Psychology, Psychology Today, Stress, writer blog and writing.

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The Stress of Deadlines

We all have deadlines. We love them and hate them. They force us to get things done but they stress us out. There is no escaping it. Whether you are a writer, artist, administrator, health care worker, educator, painter, physician, engineer, technician, mother, father or grandparent, life is full of deadlines.

According to a recent cover article, “Splintered By Stress,” in The Scientific American Mind (September/October 2011), “With the right training and preparation, we might be able to face any stressor with equanimity.” For starters, you can take their stress test to see how you can handle stress. The author, Robert Epstein did a study and found that prevention is the best way to cope with any type of stress. “It is empowering to learn how to do that,” he says.

So here are my ideas on how to handle deadline stresses:

• Review everything that you need to do. Seeing it laid out decreases the tension
• Focus on the now, rather than what you need to do
• Work backwards from your deadline. This will help you plan your next step of action
• Prioritize
• Formulate an early deadline, just in case of unexpected eventualities (you know, your cat gets run over, you lose your power, you run out of ice cream, etc.)
• Recite the Serenity Prayer:

G_d grant me the serenity
To accept the things
I cannot change..
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference ….

MOST IMPORTANT:
Remember that “stressed” spelled backwards is “desserts.” So why don’t you start meeting your deadline with a yummy dessert.

The New Psychoanalysis

Published on May 16, 2011 in Author Blog, Creative Nonfiction, Depression, Gary Shteyngart, Psychology, Psychology Today, Regina's Closet, writer blog and Writing for healing.

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The New Psychoanalysis

In the 1960s my grandmother was depressed and eventually committed suicide because she could no longer live with the torment of her life as an orphan following World War I (see Regina’s Closet: Finding My Grandmother’s Secret Journal, 2007). Back in the1960s no one suggested she see a psychotherapist. Those appointments were primarily reserved for the ‘real’ mentally ill, ‘crazy, or dysfunctional persons. The best her family doctor could offer was a prescription valium. In the end, it was this prescription which she used to end her life. In reality, this form of treatment was a band aid rather than a solution. Thankfully, now nearly fifty years later, this is no longer the case—therapy is suggested to those with all sorts of problems.

Chances are you or someone you know has had therapy. If you live in places such as California (like me), you might even find yourself discussing your intimate therapy sessions with friends at a cocktail party – something still frowned upon in other parts of the country.

In the June 2011 issue of Psychology Today, writer Mary Knight Raskin explores the trends in analysis and how psychotherapy, as developed by Sigmund Freud, recently celebrated its 100th anniversary. She discusses the benefits of therapy and how it can help a person go from leading a dysfunctional to a functional lifestyle.

She uses the example of writer, Gary Shteyngart, author of three best-selling novels. Prior to his writing career, the author’s life was in a state of major dysfunction. The chaos began at the age of seven, when he and his family immigrated from Leningrad to New York City. Being uplifted from his homeland left a deep scar on the young man, resulting in feelings of alienation and depression. In his twenties the feelings got so intense that he embarked on the journey of psychoanalysis with success as it lead to a productive writing career.

Over the years, experts realized that a lot happens in the subconscious part of our minds. Although there have been changes in how psychotherapy has been practiced since its inception a century ago, the basic premise as to what makes us tick has not changed. For example, the role of the unconscious mind is still strong and it is still believed that childhood experiences create a template for adult behavior. Talking about these experiences (in moderation) can lead to a greater understanding of the adult self, helping us figure out why we do what we do and how we can be a better person as a result. Understanding these experiences and behaviors can lead to positive changes and potential enlightenment.

Remember that we are a complex and multi-layered species. Chances are a single perspective or therapy will not provide enough information or ideas to foster significant change. In the end it is a combination of modalities which can help us become our best selves.