Archive for the 'Writing, journaling' Category

Happy National Poetry Month !

Published on April 2, 2012 in Author Blog, National Poetry Month, Poetry, writer blog, writing, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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April is National Poetry month, which has been in existence since 1996. In honor of the month-long celebration, I would like to mention my new collection of poems released this month, LISTENING TO AFRICA (Antrim House).

This book was inspired by a family trip to Africa in 2008. It was my first, but probably not my last trip to Africa, and in more ways than one, it was a life-changing experience. We were there for three weeks and visited Namibia, Botswana and Zimbabwe.

During my travels, I typically keep a journal, and this trip was no exception. By the end of the safari, I had accumulated 62 pages of typed text, which also included an array of poems. After returning home, I transformed some text into poems and thus the birth of a new poetry collection.

First I would like to share some tidbits about the African continent that I learned before our departure:
• Africa is the second largest and second most populated continent.
• Africa straddles the equator and encompasses numerous climate areas.
• The climate ranges from tropical to sub arctic.
• The northern part is mainly dessert; central and southern areas consist of savannas and very dense jungles or rainforests.
• Animals found in Africa consist of both herbivores (deer, antelope, giraffes, buffalo) and carnivores (lions, cheetah, hyenas) and omnivores.
• Africa is one of the world’s poorest and most underdeveloped continents mainly because of tropical diseases, corrupt governments and international trade regimes.
• There are more than 1000 languages spoken in Africa.

Here is information from the back cover of LISTENING TO AFRICA:

In her quest for health of mind and body, Diana Raab travels to the heart of Africa with her family, experiencing the beauty of another world and the distress but also the delight and dignity of those, both human and animal, living in difficult conditions. She has recorded her observations in Listening to Africa, a collection of poems welcomed gratefully by early readers.
Susan Wooldridge, the author of poemcrazy: freeing your life with words, has written that “Diana M. Raab makes a pilgrimage from the ‘familiar neon of home’ in America to Africa, bringing her family, her passion and her pen. Her moving words carry us with her in narrative poems replete with vision, humor and irony. In her inner and outer journey, the poet transforms fear and sadness into beauty and love as her heart opens ‘in this place which will remind you of your reason for living.’

And finally, a sample poem:

48-Hour Travel

Should you decide
to take a safari here

you might want to consider
packing some meager comforts of home,

even though they will do little
to protect you from

its haunting newness.
But still, take a two-day supply of patience,

ear plugs, sleeping pills, a few good books,
a thick journal and a pound of prevention,

the comprehensive pill bag
with compartments for each ail.

If you plan on foreign intimacy,
don’t rely on public bathrooms

to supply your protection—
be prepared with your own custom size.

For game rides, snatch volumes
of insect repellant and sunscreen

and a wrinkled ribbed hat,
to shield your neck

from the last blow
of the jungle’s sunset.
____________________________

You can order the book from the publisher, http://antrimhousebooks.com/raab.html

OR

from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Listening-Africa-Diana-M-Raab/dp/1936482185

In either case if you email me I would be happy to send you a personalized book plate.

Happy reading!
Diana

Honoring Women’s History Month

Published on March 12, 2012 in Author Blog, inspiration, Journaling, Journals, Tristine Rainer and Writing, journaling.

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In honor of National Women’s History month, I would like to honor someone whose writing has changed my life. Her name is Anais Nin.

Anais Nin was many things to many people: friend, confidant, lover, author, philosopher, psychologist, and diarist. In many ways she was a Renaissance woman, interested and interesting in many areas. As a French-Cuban author, she was best known for her published journals that spanned 60 years. Like myself, a traumatic event turned her onto writing. When she was 11 years old, her father left the family for a younger woman. Her journals began as a letter to him and as time went on those pages became her best friend, confidant, and a crucial part of her everyday life. Here’s what she said about her diary: “[It] deals always with the immediate present, the warm, the near, being written at white heat develops a love of the living moment. One thing is very clear—that both diary and fiction tend toward the same goal: intimate contact with people, with experiences, with life itself.”

In addition to journals, she also dabbled in writing novels, shorts stories and erotic literature. For a times she also busied herself with psychotherapy, inspired by and working under Otto Rank, who had worked with Sigmund Freud.

What makes her work so appealing to women is that she provides profound insights into her own role as a woman, a sexual being and erotic spirit. This helps other women define themselves and understand who they have always wanted to become. Her written voice is powerful and compelling and the fictional female characters she created are quite strong. She was not a feminist, although I have heard that she was often invited to speak at feminist rallies and events.

My dear friend, Tristine Rainer, a powerful and accomplished woman in her own right (see her website– http://www.storyhelp.com/tristine.html” was Anais’ friend and protegee and their relationship left an indelible mark on Tristine. Often at lunch, Tristine will quote what Nin would have said or done in a given situation. Recently, I had asked Tristine to share the most important thing she learned from Nin, and she said “I learned that a crazy young woman in her twenties can become a joyful, wise woman in her sixties. It was her [Nin’s] belief that we can transform ourselves and our lives through self-creation. And that diary writing was a way.”

Some of my favorite thoughts from the writings of Anais Nin:

Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.

We don’t see things as they are, we see them how we are.

Passion gives me moments of wholensss.

Group activities weaken our will. They may be a solace to loneliness, but they do not foster the individual creative will.

The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say.

We write to taste life twice, in the moment, and in the retrospection… We write to be able to transcend our life, to reach beyond it. We write to teach ourselves to speak with others, to record the journey into the labyrinth.

There were always in me, two women at least,
one woman desperate and bewildered,
who felt she was drowning and another who
would leap into a scene, as upon a stage,
conceal her true emotions because they
were weakness, helplessness, despair,
and present to the world only a smile,
an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.

While an MFA student at Spalding University, I rediscovered Nin in the course of my research on diaries and their healing and cathartic benefits. Because a traumatic event triggered or set the platform for both of our writing careers, her story resonated with me. Furthermore, I admired the candor with which she wrote. Her words strongly embodied her deepest sentiments, so much so that the reader experiences similar feelings. When I wrote my first poetry book, I dedicated the book to her and called it, Dear Anais: My Life in Poems for You. My introduction which includes a letter to Nin, finishes like this: “You have taught me the intrinsic value of the written word, how to dig deeper into my emotional truth, and the importance of having love in my life. And for this I thank you.”

And thank you to all the women out there who have, through their good works, empowered the lives of other women. For more information on National Women’s History Month, check out this link:

http://womenshistorymonth.gov/


READERS: I would also love to hear which woman has inspired you in your own life and/or career…

The Spiritual Experience of Eating

Published on January 16, 2012 in Author Blog, Baby Boomers, cathartic writing, Health, Health and Wellness, Journaling, Journals and Writing, journaling.

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After the holidays many of us are complaining that we ate too much and not only did we eat too much, but too much of the wrong things.

I often suggest food journaling to ascertain the circumstances under which we eat. It has worked for me before and it can be very revealing. Sometimes we eat unconsciously and do not even know we are doing it!

If you decide to food journal and notice that you are eating too much and/or too often there is something else you can try. In the recent issue of The Soul/Body Connection, there was a great article, “How to Make Every Bite a Spiritual Experience” by Jean L. Kristeller, PhD. The exercises in the article were once shared with me at a seminar discussing the healing power of writing.

The idea is that journaling in combination with mindfulness while eating can make for a delicious experience. The article discusses how we can bring joy and balance back into our relationship with food. It is mostly about slowing down and savoring each bite. If you take time to watch slim individuals in restaurants eat, you will note, in general, how slow they eat and how many times they chew each piece of food. Another thing they do is that they often leave something on the plate and do not finish everything.

The author calls her approach the Mindfulness-Based Eating Awareness Training and she says that it does cut down on binging. She discusses a few meditations around eating, but the first one is called, “The Experience of Hunger.” In this meditation, she suggests shortly before a meal and for one minute, to stop and focus your attention on your breath, in the same way you might in a normal meditation practice. She then suggests you rate your hunger on a scale of 1 to 7 (7 the hungriest). The idea is to identify if you really need to eat or is it emotional or impulsive eating which is driving you to the food. Then you should think about how you will handle the foods and while eating, stop every few minutes to reassess your hunger and see if it is increasing or decreasing.

Food addiction is an increasing problem in the United States. In my forthcoming collection, Writers on the Edge: 22 Writers Speak About Addiction and Dependency, Margaret Bullitt-Jonas does a fine job sharing her own journey in her essay, “Putting Down the Duck,” which is an excerpt of her memoir, Holy Hunger: A Memoir of Desire.

Telling Personal Stories

Published on January 9, 2012 in Author Blog, Baby Boomers, Creative Nonfiction, Depression, Huffington Post, Memoir, writer blog, writing, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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When I was in grade school I wanted to be a writer and one of the first things my English teacher told me was that to be a good writer you must be a good reader. Since that day, I have been a lover of books and have some ever-lasting visual memories of my mother taking me to the library and coming home with a stack of books piled all the way up to my chin.

My preference has always been to read real stories written by real people doing real things. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “No matter where you begin, read anything for five hours a day and you will soon be knowing.” My parents used to tell me that “knowledge is power,” and after having survived World War II and having lost most of their possessions as a result, they believed that knowledge was something that could not be taken away from you.

While growing up and through my teen years, I devoured biographies. I enjoyed compelling stories about spiritual journeys and also about other teens adjusting to the trials and tribulations of adolescence. Later, when my daughter got mixed up in a bad crowd, I sought stories written by other parents to help me cope with raising a strong-minded and rebellious adolescent. I even wrote a few of my own stories on the subject. When faced with cancer, I read cancer survivor stories. All these stories helped me navigate difficult times. Reading and learning about people in similar situations helped me realize that I was not alone in my journey.
The ringing in of a new year is a good time to come to grips with what might have plagued us in the previous year.

Journaling is a good way to do this, and another way is to read and hear the voices of others who have been in similar difficult situations. This was my impetus for compiling with co-editor, Jim Brown, my forthcoming anthology, Writers on The Edge: 22 Writers Discuss Dependency and Depression. As renowned author Jerry Stahl states in the foreword, “Open to any piece in this collection, and the scalding, unflinching, overwhelming truths within will shine light on places most people never look.” In fact these are the places many people want to visit – the dark places which are the most difficult to face. Many of us have experienced or at least been exposed to someone with an addiction or depression and the writers in this collection share their stories with honesty and candor. Some write as a cathartic exercise, while at the same time helping others through their own tenuous times. These short essays, confessions, or mini-memoirs share the author’s emotional truth about their addiction. The stories offer hope and ideas and all have a positive slant discussing addictions such as drugs, alcohol, food, sex, love, and gambling.

Poet Chase Twichell in her essay, “Toys in the Attic,” says, “A poem is a portrait of consciousness. It’s a recording of the motions of a mind in time, a mind communicating to others the experience of its own consciousness. When I read or write a poem, I’m trying to open a window between my mind and the minds of others. Poetry is written for others. But it’s also a study of the self, which is a private kind of work.”
In discussing memoir, William Zinnser in his classic book, Inventing the Truth, says, “Memoir is how we make sense of who we are, who we once were, and what values and heritage shaped us.” In another book, Writing About Your Life, he beautifully states, “We come from a tribe of fallible people, prisoners of our own destructiveness, and we have endured to tell the story without judgment and to get on with our lives.” The authors in Writers on the Edge do just that, whether they were involved in a twelve-step program or used writing as a healing modality—they have all succeeded despite their demons, and lead productive lives.

Reading the stories of others can help you learn about yourself. Discoveries are made, memories are revealed and wisdom is shared. Memoir writers courageously face the issues of their pasts and they can serve as role models for all of us. Their stories can provide an understanding of the inner workings of different types of people. Sometimes hearing someone else’s transformative story can inspire you to write your own, keeping in mind that the best writers allow the reader to formulate their own conclusion about the dark places that they or loved ones visit.

Please make your comments here and on where this article was originally published:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diana-m-raab/the-power-of-personal-sto_b_1187170.html

Have a super week!
Diana

Journaling in China

Published on November 7, 2011 in Author Blog, Blog, Creativity, Musings, The Sacred Space, writer blog, writing and Writing, journaling.

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I just returned from two spectacular but exhausting weeks in China, visiting Shanghai, Xian, Hangzou and Beijing. Traveling always inspires new perspectives and a multitude of journaling ideas and angles. If you were to ask what was my favorite part, I would simply say, the part that I was visiting at the time. Their world is so different than our world that I walked around each and every day in amazement. Particularly captivating was the long historical backdrop of the dynasties and the lives of the emperors and how much time was spent in making the emperor’s lives so superior during their lifetimes and in the afterlife. The palaces and mausoleums left me in awe, saying nothing about the number of concubines each emperor had. As someone who has been reading a great deal on Buddhism, I was also amazed by the gigantic temples and number of larger than life-size Buddhas. Here is a summary of the trips highlights:

Shanghai. At the airport I was glad to be greeted by a guide, because no signs were in English. There was a sense of culture shock in other ways also, such as not being able to access certain aspects of the internet from Google to social networking sites. In some areas, internet was either not possible or intermittent in a way that had little to do with remoteness, but more as a result of government control over services. This city has been considered the Paris of the east because of its women and sex clubs. In general, it was not as congested, polluted or dirty as I imagined. Many of the city’s sensibilities were a merging of east and west, the businesses and the fashion, for example. What I witnessed were the results of a massive growth spurt during the last 15 years. We visited the Shanghai Museum, an eclectic collection of relics, bowls, phenomenal Buddhas and more. We visited what was known as the Jewish Quarter or by western definition, the tenement quarters, where three or four families lived in an area smaller than my kitchen. I had heard about all the Jews who fled the Nazis to land here, but I had no idea about their enormous influence on the city’s growth. Philanthropist businessmen like Viktor Sassoon and the Kadoorie family who owned many of the city’s hotels, made their productive mark in so many parts of the city.

The Chinese people have sayings about everything – I could not write quickly enough. Some made immediate sense while others I needed to ponder. Here are only some which I quickly scribbled down while the guides interjected their wisdom into their historical discussions:

• the bird is a messenger to heaven
• the peach is a symbol of longevity and has nine lives. good to give as a gift
• bamboo is loved by the Chinese as they see it as meaning a long life. they should always be upright as this means there should always be something to learn
• Chinese coins are always round (symbolizes heaven) and square (symbolizes earth)
• Buddha was born under the gingko tree therefore it is considered a Buddhist plant
• Do not step on thresholds because they are thought to be the shoulders of Buddhas and should never be stepped upon.
• The Chinese (or people in general) believe in religion because it guides you and gives you parameters
• Laughing Buddhas hold a bag with troubles in their hand. They fill them up and forget them. I love this idea and will try to incorporate it in my life!
• In talking about relatives – they like when their family lives ‘soup distance,’ away, meaning that by the time you bring soup it will still be warm. Not many of us in the United States have this luxury, and certainly with all three of my kids on the east coast, I do not, but look forward to possibly one day being able to bring my homemade soup to them!
• The lotus is a symbol of purity and integrity.
• The Lily flower is used at weddings and signifies the couple will have a harmonious life for 100 years to come. Never use willows because if a woman is compared to a willow it means that she is flirtatious. However, if a woman is compared to a lotus, it means she is a natural beauty and does not need make up. Speaking of marriage– The Chinese say that the husband makes all the important decisions, but it’s the wife who decides what’s important!

Hangzhou. I loved this place. Our hotel was situated on beautiful West Lake. The first night we saw a water show of an unusual sort. There was a stage about three inches under the water, spanning the lake and the performers/dancers were dressed in traditional attire. They were like dancing fish performing a remarkable love story. Absolutely spectacular, with large boats and little row boats taking the lovers off into the sunset.

Hangzhou has been known as a honeymoon town and hometown of silk and tea. As a lover of green tea, I adored the private tour of the Mei family tea plantation and tea ceremony known for the best green tea in China, especially Dragon Well tea. (BTW, after buying boxes and bags of the stuff, I heard that we can get this tea, although a lesser quality, at Teavanna which is only minutes from my house!) This tea has three qualities, depending upon the season in which it was harvested. By the way, the water for a good cup of tea should not be brewed in a temperature more than 85 degrees. The hotter the water, the more bitter the leaves. The best time to drink is 30 minutes after meals as it aids in digestion. There is a big statue of Lu Yu (Literati) because he was considered the father of Chinese tea. He wrote the first book on Chinese Tea. I will never use tea bags again and I might have figured out why the Chinese women have such good figures.

We visited an herbal pharmacy that has been in business for centuries. I learned that herbal medicine consists of herbs, animal parts and mineral rocks.

Beijing. The great wall goes on and on. We were on the west side of the wall and took a cable car part of the way. The towers were built first and it’s amazing they even built a wall on this very mountainous terrain…there were a few times when I wondered about its real purpose! Visiting Tiananenmen Square and the mausoleum of Chairman Mao was a powerful way to end the trip. There were many visitors on this week day and we were told that many younger families bring their older relatives to remind them of the way things were. It was fascinating to see the history sweep across the faces of the seniors who vividly remember the perils of the Communist Regime. Our guide told us that two things the Chinese really value is their food and their freedom—and after visiting China, I can attest to this, even though I don’t think I will have another bowl of rice or marinated meat for a long time. We welcomed a big platter of French fries on our last evening out.

One last thing. When we asked the guide what American tourist attractions they associate with us, he said, Hollywood and Vegas! Now that’s a thought to ponder! No mention of the Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty, Mount Rushmore, The White House or The Grand Canyon!

The Magic of Number Ten

Published on August 22, 2011 in Author Blog, Creative Nonfiction, Creativity, General Information, Healing With Words, Health, Health and Wellness, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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I believe in and have a high regard for the number ten. In many ways, it’s regarded as the perfect number. Today, I have even more reason to believe in this number as I celebrate the 10th anniversary of my breast cancer survival. In my self-help memoir, Healing With Words: A Writer’s Cancer Journey, you can read about my journey. Also, at the end of each chapter there are writing prompts for you to do your own writing, whether about cancer or other life-changing events.

While we are on the ten-year-thing, here are some other reasons why I believe 10 is an important number:

• The number 10 implies a sense of completeness and full cycle
• A scale of 1 to 10 is used for ranking things
• There are 10 pins in a bowling lane
• There are 10 official inkblots in the Rorschach inkblot test
• The Snellen chart uses 10 different letters
• We have 10 digits on both our hands and feet
• Ten plagues were inflicted on Egypt in Exodus
• There are 10 Commandments – the cornerstone of Christianity and Judaism
• Jews observe 10 days of Repentance from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur
• There are 10 provinces in Canada
• In the Torah, Jews give 1/10 the of their produce to the poor
• The number 10 is the base of our number system
• In numerology the number 10 brings all sorts of new changes in your life

And finally Verse 10 in Jack Kerouac’s Sutra (Scripture of the Golden Eternity, 1960) says this:

“Kindness and sympathy, understanding and encouragement, these give; they are better than just presents and gifts: no reason in the world why not.”
~ Jack Kerouac

Wake Up Calls

Published on July 25, 2011 in Author Blog, Creativity, Healing With Words, Health and Wellness, Journals, July, Musings, Spirituality, writer blog, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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At one point in your life, you will have what is commonly known as a “wake up call,” or an “ah-ha moment” chances are you will be happier when a health problem causes you to wake up and pay attention to yourself and your body. A wake-up call is a cause for action. In fact, having a wake-up call can save your life. You never know when this might happen or how many wake up calls you might encounter in your lifetime, but in addition to taxes and death, these events are sure to arrive.

I have been blessed with numerous wake-up calls. I say blessed because they have all served me as inspiration and material for my life as a writer. As a result, my philosophy has been to embrace any difficulties or tumultuous times by trying to turn a negative experience into a positive one. In essence, it’s easier to understand and appreciate the light after we have experienced the dark.

Much of the key to happiness is making the most of a wake-up call. Recently, I picked up a book called, The Way of The Happy Woman by Sara Avant Stover which reminded me of the importance of tapping into these moments. The author suggests illuminating our compassion, beauty, sensuality, nurturing, creativity and receptivity – all attributes which remind us of who we are.

Although the book is written for women—the principles really apply to both sexes. It reminds us to embrace who we are and to honor self-love as a key to happiness and continued good health.

According to Stover, “Love is the essence of who we are. She says, and I agree, that at the end of our lives what really matters is “How well we loved.”

The basic tenet of the book is to simply slow down. As the Buddhists advocate—live in the moment. Stover says that the Chinese character for busyness translates as ‘heart killing.’

Summer is a fabulous time to slow down, watch the flowers grow and children play. Summer is also a good time to crack open a new journal. I was delighted that in the book’s first chapter, Stover had an extensive section on how to do this. She discussed the power of journaling and how over the course of her lifetime, journals have been her best friend and were there for her as she chronicled various milestones. She provides many similar journaling tips as I do in my own classes. For example:

• visit your favorite book or stationary store and choose a journal which resonates with you
• write your name and the date on the top of the page
• make a list of what’s on your mind at this moment and/or something you have not been able to talk to anyone about
• from your list choose the one you most want to explore in your journal
• list three of your strongest emotions about the situation and where you feel them in your body
• write three ways you can support yourself during difficult times (i.e. deep breathing, walking, exercising, meditating, gratitude journaling)

This book offers many tips, but I think the most pertinent one is that journaling will help you with self-expression which is also important when it comes to your connection with others, and saying what is on your mind, and helping your figure out what brings you pleasure.

So whether you have had a recent wake-up call or not, try this: Tomorrow morning, wake up and say, “Today I choose happiness.”

Happy Birthday America : Thoughts on Freedom and Justice

Published on July 4, 2011 in Author Blog, Creative Nonfiction, Creative Nonfiction, Independence Day, July, writer blog and Writing, journaling.

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On this day in 1776 we claimed our independence from Britain. As a result of this event, our democracy was formed and we became the “Land of the free and brave.” Thinking about this turning point in our history gives me much to ponder and journal about.

In fact, today is a good reminder for all of us to give thanks for the independence we have each and every day of our lives. Imagine the freedom to wake up in the morning and be in charge of our own lives. Something many of us take for granted. This idea really resonates with me lately while turning on the television and observing the stations inundated with the Casey Anthony trial. If she lived in any other place in the world, she would not have had the opportunity for either trial or any legal representation. Her voice would not be heard and chances are because of the horrific crime she’s accused of, she would probably no longer be with us.

Listening to the details of this case hit me hard for numerous reasons. First of all, we lived in Orlando for 15 years and my three children, Rachel, Regine and Josh were raised there. Outside of the opening of Disney World in the 1971 and the Tiger Woods saga some years ago, this is the only time I remember Orlando being in the news for such an extended period of time. Secondly, as a mother myself, I am nauseated at Anthony’s crime and how a mother could do such a thing to her child. It has always astounded me how difficult it is to get married but so easy to become a mother – no credentials necessary. In my opinion, it should be the other way around, but who am I to say. As a woman who experienced infertility and was on bed rest with all three of my kids, I can only say that I appreciate them all that much more.

Casey Anthony has sacrificed so much and hurt so many people and for what? Because the stress of motherhood overwhelmed her and she was unable to continue with her partying lifestyle? This makes no sense to me.

Giving her as much air time as we have is another issue, as Americans are obsessed with sensationalism. I am not claiming to be different, but it’s really gone overboard. There is no doubt that the Casey Anthony is simply not well. Seeing her face on television day after day reminded me of a book I read some years ago, called The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout. This is a fabulous and eye-opening book and for all those who are into sensationalism, a great read. In terms of chararacteristics, here’s what she identifies as the characteristics of a sociopath:

charming
sometimes hypochondriac
often looking for schemes
bored
risk-seeking
liars and thieves
flatters
controlling
hate and avoid responsibility

At a glance it might seem that many of these characteristics fit Casey Anthony’s personality, but the last characteristic is the most poignant.

In honor of Independence Day and our democracy, I cannot help but believe that justice will be served and at the risk of using a cliché, “what goes around comes around.”

NOTE TO READERS: I will be taking a two-week hiatus. Be happy and be well!

Hoarding Journals and Other Items

Published on June 6, 2011 in Author Blog, Journaling, Journals, Musings, writing and Writing, journaling.

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I hoard journals but not much else, however a recent article on the subject piqued my interest. It appeared in the “Well Blog” section of The New York Times and was entitled, “Children of Hoarders.” It discussed children of hoarders who are left to their own devices to make sense of growing up in homes where having visitors was challenging because of all the inanimate objects laying around, resulting in a difficulty in navigating through clutter.

I have always been fascinated by the psychological studies people choose to undertake. Randy O. Frost, a psychology professor at Smith College for two decades has been studying the act of hoarding. (Now doesn’t that sound as if he is a hoarder of information?)

His study of hoarding surmised that children of hoarders often display a tortured ambivalence toward their parents, primarily because they have little choice but to live amongst the junk. “They grew up in a difficult environment and naturally came to resent it,” says Frost.

The Mayo Clinic defines hoarding as an excessive collecting of items and the inability to discard. Typically these items appear to have little or no value to others whether they are clothes, papers, notes or other items. Sometimes hoarding can cause a significant impairment to move around a residence or office.

I am thankful that neither of my parents were considered pathological hoarders, however, I think my father had a tinge of hoarding in his blood in response to the Nazis taking away all his belongings at the onset of World War II. He did not hoard all over the house but did have “sacred” hoarding locations which were confined mainly to his desk, closet and the garage.

You might ask, what can be done about hoarding? Here’s a summary of some suggestions offered in a 2008 article on Oprah.com and offered by Dr. David Tolin:

1. Not being able to think of a use for an object doesn’t mean you need to keep it.
Ask yourself not whether you can use the object, but whether you really will use the object. A good rule of thumb is that if you haven’t used an object in over a year—you probably can live without it.

2. More is not necessarily better.
Get rid of the extras.

3. Categorize items into piles.
Make a pile of things to keep, a pile of things to donate to charity, a pile of things to sell or give away and a pile of things to throw away.

4. Follow the “OHIO” rule: Only handle it once.
“If you pick something up, make a decision about it and then put it somewhere it belongs…if you find yourself handling things again and again, moving things from one pile to another, stop yourself. Refocus and move on,” says Tolin.

5. Don’t overthink.
“If you have to go through a long and complicated decision-making process for each and every item before you get rid of it, you’ll never get free of the clutter,” Dr. Tolin says.

6. Be brave.
“Beating compulsive hoarding requires you to face things that are very scary,” Dr. Tolin says. Those who gain the most are those who are willing to risk the most.

7. Understand what you’re afraid of, and recognize when your fears are irrational.
“Ask yourself: What’s the worst that can happen if I throw this out? Try making a prediction about what will happen if you discard an object. Then discard and see if that bad thing really happened.

8. Be patient.
You will not be able to overcome hoarding overnight.

9. Be strict with yourself.

10. Know when to ask for help.
Compulsive hoarding is a potentially serious mental health issue and some people might need professional help to cope with hoarding.

My mother was the opposite of a hoarder. She never kept anything, including all the journals I filled up as a child. That’s the flip side and I am quite upset about this! In the writing classes I teach I stress the importance of keeping old journals because you just never know when they will come in handy for a current project. This kind of hoarding is just fine, in my eyes, vz as a writer!

In Memory

Published on May 30, 2011 in Author Blog, Baby Boomers, Creative Nonfiction, General Information, Memory, Musings, writer blog, writing and Writing, journaling.

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I just joined this site called, “FlexWriters Creative Network,” and I could not resist cutting and pasting a poem they had posted in honor of today, Memorial Day. We should remember that this is not a day to celebrate, but a day to honor and remember those who have lost their lives while in the military service. Thank you for all you have done to protect our freedom.

http://www.flexwriterscreativenetwork.net/magazine.html

WE REMEMBER

by Dori Wheeler

Today is the day we remember those
Who went to war and fought our foes
They’ve gone away to fight our wars
Lived and died so our flag still soars
Some treated pourly when they came back
When some wouldn’t fight, they picked up the slack
My hats off to our sons and daughters
Who’ve had to live in deplorable quarters
Men and women who have gone off to fight
To save our country from a terrible plight
Today is the day we remember those
Even though this war really blows
They protect our country, home of the brave
Sadly, some had to come home to a grave
Men and women who have gone off to fight
Eternal candles that will forever light
They deserve so much more then a parade
After going to war and being afraid
Today is the day we remember those
Who fought against the ones we really appose
Stars and stripes forever wave
Freedom is what we are trying to save
I don’t really believe in this war
But I believe in our troops forever more
I know our country is very strong
But in this war, we don’t belong
Today is the day we remember those.