Archive for the 'Writing for healing' Category

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Compelling Confessions

Published on June 27, 2011 in Author Blog, Creative Nonfiction, Memoir and Writing for healing.

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This past week I taught a workshop at the Santa Barbara Writers’ Conference called “From Notebook to Memoir.”

http://www.sbwriters.com/

For the most part, the workshop emphasized how to use the scribblings in your notebooks to craft a memoir. In reality, those scribblings include random thoughts, lists and confessions. A well-crafted memoir exhibits a confessional tone and tells the emotional truth of a story. I told my students that often writing about personal experiences can be cathartic and should make us feel good. However, there are times when confessing can hurt and at those times it’s simply best to stop writing and do something else.

A recent article in Spirituality and Health called “Why Confession Feels So Good,” by Peggy La Cerra focused on the confessions one makes in church but it had some salient points to ponder outside of the church setting.

http://www.spiritualityhealth.com/mag
azine/2011-may-june/2011-may-june.html

For example, “Humans across various traditions and cultures have developed rituals that serve the purpose of purging the participants of residual guilt and shame.” For example, those involved in groups such as Weight Watchers and twelve-step programs for addiction, must report their faults, shortcomings and weaknesses to their sponsors; Buddhists report to their superiors; Jews make their confessions to God and atone on holidays like Yom Kippur; Muslims confess to Allah and Christians confess at Church to a minister, pastor or priest and do penance.

These days, many of these practices are being scrutinized and personally I prefer the confessions that go onto the pages of a journal, possibly to be turned into poetry or memoir. I recently picked up a volume on my bookshelf which I had bought years ago called, After Confession: Poetry as Autobiography edited by Kate Sontag & David Graham. The issues with bad confessional poetry are similar to those with bad memoir and this is addressed in the early part of the book. The editor deftly states: “Aesthetically speaking, personal poems can go wrong in many ways: they might indulge in the elevation of trivial or merely uninteresting domestic detail; they might simply whine, recounting; they might ignore important aspects of the world beyond the poet’s doorstep and thus remain cloistered in the prison of self; they might mistake the tawdry or sensational for the boldly honest; and in fact, they might fall anywhere along the deadly spectrum that runs from cocktail-party bore to megalomaniac.”

These are precisely the points I make in my memoir class. I believe the most important point is that in order to craft a compelling memoir, the writer needs to identify a universal truth that their readers can relate to and more times than not, this can be a challenge.

The New Psychoanalysis

Published on May 16, 2011 in Author Blog, Creative Nonfiction, Depression, Gary Shteyngart, Psychology, Psychology Today, Regina's Closet, writer blog and Writing for healing.

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The New Psychoanalysis

In the 1960s my grandmother was depressed and eventually committed suicide because she could no longer live with the torment of her life as an orphan following World War I (see Regina’s Closet: Finding My Grandmother’s Secret Journal, 2007). Back in the1960s no one suggested she see a psychotherapist. Those appointments were primarily reserved for the ‘real’ mentally ill, ‘crazy, or dysfunctional persons. The best her family doctor could offer was a prescription valium. In the end, it was this prescription which she used to end her life. In reality, this form of treatment was a band aid rather than a solution. Thankfully, now nearly fifty years later, this is no longer the case—therapy is suggested to those with all sorts of problems.

Chances are you or someone you know has had therapy. If you live in places such as California (like me), you might even find yourself discussing your intimate therapy sessions with friends at a cocktail party – something still frowned upon in other parts of the country.

In the June 2011 issue of Psychology Today, writer Mary Knight Raskin explores the trends in analysis and how psychotherapy, as developed by Sigmund Freud, recently celebrated its 100th anniversary. She discusses the benefits of therapy and how it can help a person go from leading a dysfunctional to a functional lifestyle.

She uses the example of writer, Gary Shteyngart, author of three best-selling novels. Prior to his writing career, the author’s life was in a state of major dysfunction. The chaos began at the age of seven, when he and his family immigrated from Leningrad to New York City. Being uplifted from his homeland left a deep scar on the young man, resulting in feelings of alienation and depression. In his twenties the feelings got so intense that he embarked on the journey of psychoanalysis with success as it lead to a productive writing career.

Over the years, experts realized that a lot happens in the subconscious part of our minds. Although there have been changes in how psychotherapy has been practiced since its inception a century ago, the basic premise as to what makes us tick has not changed. For example, the role of the unconscious mind is still strong and it is still believed that childhood experiences create a template for adult behavior. Talking about these experiences (in moderation) can lead to a greater understanding of the adult self, helping us figure out why we do what we do and how we can be a better person as a result. Understanding these experiences and behaviors can lead to positive changes and potential enlightenment.

Remember that we are a complex and multi-layered species. Chances are a single perspective or therapy will not provide enough information or ideas to foster significant change. In the end it is a combination of modalities which can help us become our best selves.

Keeping Time : 150 Years of Journaling

Published on February 28, 2011 in Author Blog, autobiographies, breast cancer, Depression, Healing With Words, Health and Wellness, Journaling, Journals, writer blog, writing, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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A few years back I submitted some very personal journal entries to a proposed anthology. I was delighted to hear that Keeping Time: 150 years of Journal Writing edited by Mary Azrael and Kendra Kopelke was recently published. This is a rare collection of journal entries all under one cover. As the editors state in their poignant introduction, “For many people, journal writing is a private activity, spontaneous and revealing, not intended for an audience of strangers.” But these editors did a stellar job of putting together 37 wonderful pieces with subjects ranging from everyday life parental issues, raising children, nature, travel, health and historical events. “Keeping Time,” they go on to say, “stands as witness to the times spanning from our great grandparents to today. It opens a way into our history at its most intimately and sincerely felt, and expands our sense of what a notebook can do to connect us more fully to our lives.”

My submission represented the year 2001, and I have posted it below:

I have been keeping a journal since the age of ten. Over the years, my journal has been my friend and confidant to help me through difficult times. I strongly believe in the powerful healing qualities of the written word.
Today, I teach journaling to breast cancer survivors and high-risk teens. During my breast cancer journey, writing became my lifeline and a way to give voice to my deepest feelings.

The following is an excerpt from my memoir/self-help book, HEALING WITH WORDS: A WRITER’S CANCER JOURNEY.

August 22 (one-day post-op)
I wake up in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) today and Simon sits beside me holding my hand. One part of me wants to look down at the hospital gown covering this corset-like gauze bandage around my chest. Yet another part of me is scared out of my mind. The nurse helps me to the bathroom and I avoid the mirror as if it holds the most dreaded secret. I want to rip it off the bathroom wall. I never want to see myself naked. While walking back to bed, I look over at Simon and begin sobbing with no respite. I know in my heart that one day soon I will have to look at my chest. My hope is that my plastic surgeon will make all the necessary explanations. I am happy that the surgery is behind me, but now I must begin preparing to walk down an even more arduous road. I must get used to the new me.

August 23
Today my mood oscillates back and forth. One moment I want to touch my newly-created breast and the next minute I never want to see it. I am pleased that the reconstruction was done immediately following the mastectomy. After breakfast, I pulled the nurse’s cord to help me sit up. I am terribly sore from being in one position. By the time she arrives moments later, I have already changed my mind. I put my hand over my right breast and feel nothing. I do the same on the left. I can only feel the slight pressure of my hand. How will I ever get used to having no sensations. My right nipple had always been more sensitive than and easily stimulated than my left, but now there is a sense of nothingness, numbness, a void.

Today the nurse removed the bandage around my chest. I looked the other way while crying into my pillow. I felt nothing. My plastic surgeon said some sensations might eventually return, but never again could I become sexually aroused on my right side. So, I have two breasts, but really only one. My sensations have been severed forever. Never again would I experience that sublime tingling when Simon runs his fingers over my rather large nipple—never again on that side. Never could I experience the joy and tingles from let-down reflex when my babies sucked for the first time. I loved that sensation which permeated my soul and brought me such joy.

August 27
The books I have read, and my nursing experience warned me that depression is common following many surgeries, particularly breast surgery, because of the huge psychological component of losing a breast. I should be optimistic because my breast surgeon says that the cancer has been removed. He says I am lucky that it did not spread into my lymph nodes. Yes, this is a true blessing, but there are moments when this is not enough to console me. My father taught me to look at the glass half full and not half empty. I’m trying. Really trying. But, this entire event has been surreal. My defenses are stripped. I have no strength left in my body except for the weeping. Tears flow like an endless river. They pour out without warning and dry up without notice.

August 28
I look around me and see all the technology. I think of my husband, an engineer, and how people like himself have made mine and so many others’ survival possible. He is a fixer. On so many other occasions he wants to quickly make everything better for me. His smile and touch are so healing. He has so much power, but he cannot bring my breast back to me. He says he wishes he had a magical wand to make me feel better. I tell him that the wand was discarded the day it brought him into my life. One person cannot be bestowed with any more luck than me. He implores me to think positively.

Sometimes life is not so simple. I don’t want to say this to him because he tries so hard to soothe me. It’s still early in my post-operative period, but I already feel physically and emotionally changed and drained. In some ways it is easier being far from home. My predicament somehow seems clearer and my mind less distracted by familiar surroundings.

September 3
Today I am nearly two weeks post-op. I do not feel any better emotionally than the day they rolled me out of the cold and sterile operating room. My emotional strength is barely returning. I still get teary-eyed for no obvious reason. This morning, the nurses bathed me. They helped me to the chair where I tried reading a magazine, but my mind wandered. Everything makes me cry, even glancing at the latest hairstyles in the magazine. I feel trapped inside this body that I don’t know anymore.

Here’s what I look like. On my right side is a drainage tube tucked into a hole beneath my mastectomy site. On the same side, another tube leads to the incision in my back where they have removed the muscle and tissue to cup my saline implants. The tube leads to this thing that looks like a hand grenade which dangles from my side. This grenade drains the blood from my wounds, but I think it does the same from my heart. It needs to be emptied three times each day. It’s gross and yet another reminder of my missing breast. When we go to dinner at the hotel’s restaurant, the only thing I can wear are baggy men’s shirts to hide my tube and stupid grenade.

Getting up and going to the bathroom is such an ordeal. I need at least ten minutes to prepare for the departure from my bed. Getting all the wires organized is truly a monumental task. I cannot lean on my back; the drainage tube sticks straight out. I cannot lean on my right side—another tube. They hurt like hell. There are no more comfortable positions left for me. Jeannine [mother-in-law] asked if I have been writing. She must be kidding! I have so much to write about, but I cannot focus. My mind wanders beyond belief. Life is fuzzy and not even eyeglasses can help. I am just plain frustrated. I can only muster these few words and even these exhaust all of my energy.

September 4
Today I will go visit my plastic surgeon. It seems as if the past couple of weeks have been surreal. A thick cloud suspends over me. How did I get here? I was diligent about my annual mammograms and check-ups. On the first day of my menstrual cycle I diligently did self-breast exams in the shower. There is no cancer in my family. Why am I lying here all mutilated?

I have never thought much about cancer, but one thing I know is that if cancer is in your body, you better get it out quickly. Having had reconstructive surgery at the same time as my mastectomy has put my mind at ease. Even though I have refrained from looking at myself naked in the mirror, there was a sense of relief to waking up with a mound on my right side, even if it was not my own breast, but just a sack of saline water.

September 6
I’m trying to take the position that cancer is no longer lurking inside of me. I did have cancer, but it is now all gone. All of it. I don’t like the sound of the term ‘breast cancer.’ People equate cancer with death. I refuse to die.
When I first learned about my breast cancer, I wanted to hear everybody else’s escapades and everyone’s medical sagas. It seems that everyone knows someone who has had breast cancer. This is not surprising since the statistics have now risen to one in eight women. Listening to other people’s stories is boring at times, and at other times scary. Sometimes it’s inspiring to learn that others are less fortunate than me. The woman in the corridor told me about her stage III cancer. Okay, she made me feel lucky, but I just don’t want to be surrounded by negative energy.

I am so afraid that the cancer will come back. I cry about losing the breast and also about having to lose my other one. Crying comes so easily. Sometimes the tears last a few minutes, other times an hour. It all depends.

Keeping Time is available from Amazon at the link below, and it is a wonderful read. I surely hope you take the time to order and read it.

http://www.amazon.com/Keeping-Time-Years-Journal-Writing/dp/0963138545/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1297999546&sr=8-1

The Art of Rejection : Giving and Receiving

Published on February 7, 2011 in Author Blog, autobiographies, General Information, Musings, writer blog and Writing for healing.

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This past weekend I attended the annual AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) in DC, the largest writing conference in the country. There were 5000+ attendees. I was honored to moderate a panel discussion entitled, “The Art of Rejection: Giving and Receiving.” My esteemed panelists included Molly Peacock, Philip F. Deaver, Geeta Kothari, Wendy Call and Kevin Watson. Each panelist made a presentation on various aspects of rejection.

I introduced our topic by thanking all the editors and publishers in the audience who in the past have rejected my work, which inspired me to pull this panel together. Here’s a glimpse at my introductory remarks:

Rejection is inherent to many aspects of life, and the literary life is no exception. Rejections happen to emerging writers, published writers and literary greats. For example, Normal Mailer’s The Naked and the Dead was rejected by 11 publishers before it was accepted; Elie Weisel’s classic book Night was turned down by at least 15 publishers. Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead—which now sells 150,000 copies a year—was turned down at least a dozen times.

If we let them, rejections can suck our spirits of their very essence. So, why do we torture ourselves like this? The reason is that rejection is a rite of passage in an author’s life. In order to ease the sting of receiving a rejection letter and to grow stronger as a result, it is important to understand what they are and what they are not, how to cope with them and how to move on.

A rejection slip says nothing about your potential. It is not a rejection of you as an individual nor the value of your writing endeavors, but rather, it is the rejection of a piece of work submitted for possible publication.

If you’re an editor or publisher and also a writer, the task of giving a rejection can be equally difficult. When I owned a small publishing company back in the 1980s I made sure each writer received a personal rejection letter, because I understood what it was like being on the other side.

Saul Bellow says, “Rejections are not altogether a bad thing. They teach a writer to rely on his own judgment and to say in his heart of hearts, “To hell with you.”

The panelists all had wonderful insights and we finished with a lively Q & A session. I was delighted that at the end of the panel a gentleman came to the podium and reached out to shake my hand. “I just want to say that I was not one of the editors to reject your work.” I looked down at his badge and it was Jay Rubin, the editor of a wonderful publication, Alehouse. I smiled and thanked him for accepting my essay some years back called, “The Poet’s Notebook.” Thanks again, Jay!

What Story Do We Tell ?

Published on January 31, 2011 in Author Blog, autobiographies, book genre, Creative Nonfiction, fiction, General Information, Memoir, Memory, Passions and Writing for healing.

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Whether you write fiction, nonfiction or poetry, there’s no doubt you have a unique story to tell from your very own perspective. For many writers, reliving and retelling childhood stories are common platforms for their work. We often reflect on those times because they were filled with pain, joy or unanswered questions.

Though we might have a sense of what story we need to tell, once in a while we get stumped. Many writers say their best story ideas come to mind when they’re not sitting at their desk ‘working,’ but rather when they’re out and about. It’s important to remain alert to those special moments in everyday life—odd discoveries and chance remarks made by others in social, work or casual settings.

My typical day begins with reading the news. An article or story might spark my interest, which drives me to surf the web for more information. If I am in the middle of another project, I will toss the idea into my “Writing Ideas,” folder which contains stories I hope to tell one day. Whether I get to writing them or not is another topic, the important thing is to have that folder as a back-up for those days when my well runs dry.

In addition to the “Writing Ideas” folder here are some questions to ask yourself which might also lead to new stories:

1) What’s going through your head?
2) Who are your villains? Who are your heroes?
3) What are you obsessed by?
4) What inspires you?
5) Where are you in your life now?
6) What stories are you compelled to read?

Whatever you choose to write, you will soon realize that the creative journey is similar to life’s journey—unpredictable, unstructured, mysterious and laden with miracles.

In her book, Negotiating With the Dead: A Writer on Writing (2002), Margaret Atwood says, “Writing has to do with darkness, and a desire or perhaps a compulsion to enter it, and, with luck, to illuminate it, and to bring something back out into the light.”

In Writing (1993) Marguerite Duras says, “Finding yourself in a hole, at the bottom of a hole, in almost total solitude, and discovering that only writing can save you. To be without the slightest subject for a book, the slightest idea for a book, is to find yourself, once again, before a book. A vast emptiness. A possible book. Before nothing. Before something like living, naked writing, like something terrible, terrible to overcome.”

Sometimes the stories we choose to write help us to learn more about know ourselves and to figure out the world around us. Oftentimes, it is about making a discovery. Even our darkest—or unknown—thoughts, memories and fears, can transform themselves to reveal value and meaning for us in our lives now. And with any luck, for others as well!

Happy “Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day”

Published on January 17, 2011 in Author Blog, cathartic writing, General Information, Health, New Year, writer blog, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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You might not realize it, but today and every year, January 17th, is officially “Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day,” and this might be one of my favorite holidays next to my birthday and Thanksgiving. My father used to say that New Year’s Resolutions were meant to be broken. For some people making New Year’s resolutions is quite simply an annual habit that they do while sipping on their champagne on New Year’s Eve. For others, it is a good time to commit to a positive change in their lives. If you took my advice of an earlier blog this year, you might have already made your resolution, but now is your chance to break that resolution and celebrate today. In effect, it’s your chance to get out of a completely unrealistic New Year’s Resolution. Furthermore, this year the holiday coincidentally falls on Martin Luther King Day, honoring a wonderful man who was a spokesperson for the civil rights movement. There is something to be said about it being our civil right to ditch our New Year’s Resolution – so I hereby grant you permission!

In summary, there is not much information about this holiday and who initiated it in the first place, but there is some advice for those who have chosen to observe it.

For example, try to celebrate by doing some or all of the following:

1 – Eat a lot of chocolate
2 – Play instead of work
3 – Do what you want instead of what you ‘should’ do
4- Instead of saving money give a donation to someone in need
5 – Call in sick to work or leave a little earlier today

To me this sounds like National Freedom Day!

I would love to hear how about your own celebration…….

Until next time,
Namaste,
Diana

To The New Year

by W.S. Merwin, from Present Company

With what stillness at last
you appear in the valley
your first sunlight reaching down
to touch the tips of a few
high leaves that do not stir
as though they had not noticed
and did not know you at all
then the voice of a dove calls
from far away in itself
to the hush of the morning

so this is the sound of you
here and now whether or not
anyone hears it this is
where we have come with our age
our knowledge such as it is
and our hopes such as they are
invisible before us
untouched and still possible.

Poetry as Medicine

Published on December 13, 2010 in Author Blog, Billy Collins, General Information, Health, Health and Wellness, Journaling, Poetry, Spalding University, writer blog, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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“Poems are not words, after all, but fires for the cold, ropes let down to the lost…as necessary as bread in the pockets of the hungry.” ~ Mary Oliver

There has been a great deal of discussion regarding the healing power of writing and reading poetry. Once again, I was reminded of this in a newly-released book called, Saved By A Poem: The Transformative Power of Words, by Kim Rosen. In her books, Rosen claims that a poem can be powerful medicine not only for the mind but for the body and soul as well. She has learned by heart more than a hundred poems, which she carries inside of her as teachers, healers and guides.

Rosen was recently interviewed by Alison Luterman in the Sun Magazine (December 2010) and I found it fascinating. She discussed the public’s sensibility about poetry and many of her ideas resonated with me in the sense that many are threatened or afraid of poetry. Part of her motivation for compiling her recent collection was to wake Americans up to the power of poetry as a way to enrich our lives. She talks about poetry as a lantern that shines in dark places within us and refers to poems as powerful medicine for personal transformation.

“To me a good poem is like a sacred mind-altering substance: you take it into your system, and it carries you beyond your ordinary ways of understanding,” she says. “Like a shaman’s drum, the best of a poem can literally entrain the rhythms of your body: your heartbeat, your breath, even your brain waves, altering consciousness.”

Perie Longo, PhD, MFT, Santa Barbara’s former Poet Laureate, who held several board positions for the National Association for Poetry Therapy also wrote a wonderful article on the subject called, “Healing Effects of Poetry.” Longo says that “the focus of poetry for healing is connection to the individual for self-expression and growth, whereas the focus of poetry as art is the poem itself. But both use the same tools and techniques; the end product is often the same.” Longo teaches poetry for healing and in her classes has many tips to help spark the writing process. She suggests to her class to begin with the phrase, “I have the right…”The article is filled with lots of useful information.

http://www.allthingshealing.com/Psychotherapy/Healing-Effects-of-Poetry/6350

As a teen, I wrote poetry inspired by reading the works of Rod McKuen, but really did not return to the genre until my 40s while raising children and feeling some strong emotions pertaining to child-rearing and life in general. What really inspired me to begin again was attending a reading by Billy Collins in 2002 during my MFA in Writing at Spalding University in Louisville, Kentucky. I realized how accessible and funny narrative poetry could be. I laughed and cried listening to Billy read. I went home that night and wrote my first poem about how men love watching women park because they think we don’t know how to drive.

Since then I have incorporated writing poetry into my journaling classes. The holiday season is a wonderful time to bring poetry into your life to help cope with the stresses that accompany it. Try it and I bet you will like itTry it you will like it!

Maintaining Calm in the Chaos

Published on November 29, 2010 in inspiration, Journaling, Journals, Musings, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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Last week I returned from a retreat in Arizona with my daughter, Regine. In addition to the joy of spending some time alone together, we took some amazing classes and were exposed to great strategies for coping with the stress of everyday living. Whether you live in a big city, small town or on a farm, at some time during your life you will be exposed to stress in a way where you need to reach out for strategies. It is hoped that this article will provide you with some necessary tools.

Whether you are a full-time writer, mother, wife, husband, educator, artist, care-provider or businessperson, establishing a sense of calm should be a vital part of your life incorporated in your every day. This can be accomplished by engaging in activities such as yoga, meditation, exercise or reading.

During our recent sojourn in Arizona, we did a lot of meditation and yoga. One of my favorite meditations done close to bedtime, was called, “Loving Kindness Meditation.” It is a 2,500 year-old mediation practice which uses repeated phrases of good will to evoke a feeling of friendliness and kindness towards ourselves and others – another good thing to do during this busy holiday season.

There are many mantras for this meditation, to be directed toward to yourself or a loved one undergoing a difficult time. The idea is to recite the words over and over again. The one I like best is from A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield. It goes like this:

May I be filled with lovingkindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.
May (a person I love) be filled with lovingkindness
May (a person I love) be well….

One of the books I bought at the retreat was called Instant Calm by Paul Wilson, which is an absolute gem. It consists of a collection of strategies to use during stressful times. It is a reference book to be kept on anyone’s shelf because it is packed with healing and calming techniques for every day. The book is divided into four sections —“Stress Versus Calm,’ ‘Instant Calm: The Techniques,’ ‘Longer-Term Calm Solutions ‘ and ‘Crisis.’ The book is basically about crisis control and the author’s impetus for writing the book was aspirin, which is something we all might reach for during difficult times, but really it has a temporary band-aid effect and is not longlastting.

Some people might choose to skip around and read the book as needed, but it is such a fast read that my suggestion would be to read it from beginning to end, because there is something to be gleaned from every page. The book is very well-organized and has fabulous illustrations for each particular calming technique.

In summary, the author believes that to practice calm you should master the techniques before you’re confronted with stress. He emphasizes the importance of breathing and knowing how to automatically access the skills he shares in the book. To do this he says, you must: be prepared, be patient, be positive and be practical.

Here’s a link to purchase the book now:

http://www.amazon.com/Instant-Calm-Easy—Use-Techniques/dp/0452274338/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1290463515&sr=8-8

Enjoy and be calm!

Happy Thanksgiving Week !

Published on November 22, 2010 in Author Blog, Journaling, Journals, Old Journals, writer blog, writing, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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Beginning today, I believe we should have ‘Thanksgiving week.’ Thanksgiving has always been my family’s favorite holiday primarily because it is not connected with any religion. It is a day of appreciation and a good excuse to express thankfulness and gratitude to both family and friends.

This is a also good time of year to begin gratitude journaling, particularly in view of the upcoming chaotic holiday season. Expressing gratitude not only provides you with a sense of appreciation, it reduces stress and strengthens your emotional resilience. Journaling also helps put your life into perspective, especially when things are not going well.

Gratitude journaling helps us focus on the positive aspects of life and minimizes focusing on the negatives. After a while, this attitude can spill over into the course of your day and everything else you do.

A good time to begin gratitude journaling is at the end of the day. In fact, some people keep a gratitude journal on their bedside table.

Here are some tips on how to begin:

1) Choose a journal and pen which resonates with you
2) Pick a time when you can write undisturbed for 20 minutes
3) Date the top of your page
4) Think of your day and make a list of fifteen things you are thankful for
5) Choose three items on your list to write about in more depth
6) Choose at least one person, group or organization to express your gratitude toward

Rereading your gratitude journal at a later date can also inspire you and make you smile when you are feeling down or stressed out.

One thing I am doing today to express my gratitude responding to Jim Wales’ appeal and make a donation to Wikipedia because I find the service so useful. If you choose to do the same, here is the link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanksgiving

So what are you doing to express your gratitude? I would greatly appreciate hearing from you.

Thank you, my readers for your attention. I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Speak with you next week!

Journaling and Mindfulness

Published on November 1, 2010 in Author Blog, Baby Boomers, Journaling, Journals, Notebooks, Wellness and Writing Connections, Writers and Their Notebooks, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.”

Jon Kabat-Zinn

A few weeks ago presented at the Writing and Wellness Connections Conference in Georgia and attended a wonderful workshop there lead by Lucille Allegretti-Freeman. It was called, “The Three A’s of Mindful Journaling: Attention, Awareness and Acceptance.” She offered many useful tips that I’d like to share with you.

You might ask, “What is mindfulness?” Basically, mindfulness means being aware of your present experience and accepting it, being open to an entire experience, whether negative or positive. It is to understand that thoughts come and go and that feelings are to be felt. To be truly mindful, it is important to pause between and during activities.

To illustrate how mindfulness can be brought to an experience and transformative, the facilitator had us perform an interesting task. She passed around a box of raisins and asked us to pick out three and place them on our desks. She asked us to examine and tell her what we thought. Of course my first thought was “that’s what my skin will look like in twenty years!” She then told us to pick one up—touch it and roll it in our hands. Then she told us to smell it and bring it to our mouth. Once in our mouth she asked us to roll it from side to side and observe how our mouth waters and what happens to the raisin. She then told us to note how it tastes. She then advised us to gently chew it and note how the consistency changed in our mouths. We were then told to swallow it.

This was a fun exercise in the sense that it slowed us down in the moment which is what mindfulness is all about.

She then spoke about why mindfulness is so helpful in journaling. She said it brings with it curiosity, compassion, acceptance to self, and helps us recognize that thoughts are not facts and feelings are to be felt and that awareness is important to feel the fullness of the moment.

The effect of mindfulness on journaling is that you give up wanting to control your writing. You acknowledge that your life is worthy of your time and you increase your capacity to have strong emotions. As the struggle to change your thoughts and feelings decreases, you become more at peace with yourself and the world

In summary, she shared this wonderful poem by Derek Walcott:

Love After Love

The time will come

when, with elation

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.