Archive for the 'Writers and Their Notebooks' Category

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Published on June 13, 2011 in Anais Nin, cathartic writing, Creativity, Decisions, Heuristic, inspiration, Wray Herbert, writer blog and Writers and Their Notebooks.

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I often tell my students that if they are encountering turbulent times or having difficulty making a decision, whether it is large or small, they should use their journal to help figure out their answers. No doubt, some decisions are easier to make than others. Writing in your journal can help you make decisions by identifying the potential risks and gains of a situation. Journaling can help you come to grips with what is really going on. Writing empowers us.

In a recent article in U.S. News & World Report (special edition: Secrets of Your Brain) there was an excerpt from a new book called, One Second-Thought: Outsmarting Your Minds’ Hard-Wired Habits by Wray Herbert. The author discusses the concept of heuristics which refers to the experience-based techniques which help us make decisions. He discusses how over time humans have evolved these cognitive rules of thumb. Heuristics can help us efficiently navigate the many choices we are faced with every day. The author postulates that even though heuristics comes in handy, they are at times imperfect and irrational. Sometimes using heuristics can be a trap because we might become lazy and not think through certain decisions.

The author discusses the various types of heuristics, including: the familiarity heuristic, default heuristic and the acceptance heuristic. The familiarity heuristic is a result of habit and experience and it is almost automatic. The default heuristic refers to us having a powerful bias for sticking with a decision we have once made. In other words, we don’t want to rock the boat. It’s the safe, stay-the-course impulse which, in the past has provided good results. Constant switching back and forth about what to do, can be perilous, in regard to all decisions including financial and romantic. As a result we have become adverse to hopping around. The acceptance heuristic illustrates our overpowering tendency to make choices which others approve of. It’s about being safe and feeling a sense of belonging to society. This is connected to the idea of group dynamics.

Many studies have been done on the subject of decision-making. While some people have difficulty making decisions and are scared about the possibility of making the wrong decision, others find the task of making a decision quite easy.

My readings taught me that those with the following traits, tend to make easier and more efficient decisions:

1. good self-esteem
2. honesty with oneself
3. loving oneself
4. having courage

One of the best ways to make a personal decision is through self-talk and one of the best ways to do this is through the practice of regular journaling.

“Once you make a decision, says Emerson, “the universe conspires to make it happen.”

The Revival of the Handwritten Note

Published on December 6, 2010 in Author Blog, Journaling, Journals, Letter Writing, Musings, writer blog and Writers and Their Notebooks.

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Ever since my parents sent me to sleep away camp at the age of six, with a box of stationary and an assortment of pens, I have been a devoted letter writer. There is something special about holding a pen in my hand and feeling the paper under my palm. My mother has always been an amazing letter correspondent. Even if these were just a few words scribbled on a note card, she loved the idea of a handwritten note, stamped and finished with a sealing wax seal on the back flap, usually with her initial, “E.”

The handwritten letter is romantic, poetic and sensual. It’s more permanent, purposeful, engaging, reflective, thoughtful, individualized and requires and more effort than a cold electronic email message.

In many ways, emails, texting and instant messaging have brought back some of the qualities of letter writing skills, although for many people, it has taken away the allure of the stamped letter mailed at the corner mailbox. Even though most of my day is spent at the computer composing emails, I do have a drawer totally dedicated to stationary and note paper. After all, an email is not a ‘real’ letter and in many ways receiving a stamped letter delivered by the mailman seems to hold more weight and be more credible. It is just so precious. Although we can save emails, there is nothing like saving a handwritten letter, something we have stored away, a piece of paper which reminds us of a particular person. Sometimes the paper might even hold their fragrance. There are also many times when I begin writing a handwritten note in my journal and then copy it onto nice paper to mail.

Word processors are ubiquitous now, but holding a hand-written letter elicits different feelings than a typewritten one. Writing a handwritten letter is the next best thing to showing up at someone’s door. A hand-written letter also holds the story of the letter’s journey, perhaps across many miles. It holds the spirit and energy of the person who wrote it in a very tangible way.

When each of my children were born I wrote them a letter. When my grandmother died, when I was ten, I wrote her a letter and continue to do so when I have the need to be connected with her. When my father died, twenty years ago, I wrote him a letter. All my children are grown and a few times a month I send them letters. I hope they cherish them as much as I cherish when I receive a letter, even if it is a small ‘thank you note.’ It just has so much meaning.

To write a handwritten letter, all you need is stationary which reflects your personality, a smooth-moving pen and sealing wax.
Here are some tips for writing love letters:
1) State purpose of your letter
2) Recall a romantic memory
3) Write what you love about the person
4) Write about how your life has changed since your meeting
5) Reaffirm your love
6) Summarize with a potent phrase, such as “I can’t wait to grow old with you.”
If you want to get inspired by wonderful letter writers, check out the following books:

Women’s Letters: America from the Revolutionary War to the Present, by Lisa Gunwalkd and Stephen J. Adler, editors. Dial Press. 2005.
As Always, Julia: The Letters of Julia Child and Avis DeVoto: Food, Friendship and the Making of a Masterpiece, by Joan Reardon, editor. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. 2010.
Letters to Jackie: Condolences from a Grieving Nation by Ellen Fitzpatrick, editor. HarperCollins, 2010.
P.S. I hate it Here: Kids’ Letters from Camp by Diane Falanga. Harry Abrams. 2010.

Journaling and Mindfulness

Published on November 1, 2010 in Author Blog, Baby Boomers, Journaling, Journals, Notebooks, Wellness and Writing Connections, Writers and Their Notebooks, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.”

Jon Kabat-Zinn

A few weeks ago presented at the Writing and Wellness Connections Conference in Georgia and attended a wonderful workshop there lead by Lucille Allegretti-Freeman. It was called, “The Three A’s of Mindful Journaling: Attention, Awareness and Acceptance.” She offered many useful tips that I’d like to share with you.

You might ask, “What is mindfulness?” Basically, mindfulness means being aware of your present experience and accepting it, being open to an entire experience, whether negative or positive. It is to understand that thoughts come and go and that feelings are to be felt. To be truly mindful, it is important to pause between and during activities.

To illustrate how mindfulness can be brought to an experience and transformative, the facilitator had us perform an interesting task. She passed around a box of raisins and asked us to pick out three and place them on our desks. She asked us to examine and tell her what we thought. Of course my first thought was “that’s what my skin will look like in twenty years!” She then told us to pick one up—touch it and roll it in our hands. Then she told us to smell it and bring it to our mouth. Once in our mouth she asked us to roll it from side to side and observe how our mouth waters and what happens to the raisin. She then told us to note how it tastes. She then advised us to gently chew it and note how the consistency changed in our mouths. We were then told to swallow it.

This was a fun exercise in the sense that it slowed us down in the moment which is what mindfulness is all about.

She then spoke about why mindfulness is so helpful in journaling. She said it brings with it curiosity, compassion, acceptance to self, and helps us recognize that thoughts are not facts and feelings are to be felt and that awareness is important to feel the fullness of the moment.

The effect of mindfulness on journaling is that you give up wanting to control your writing. You acknowledge that your life is worthy of your time and you increase your capacity to have strong emotions. As the struggle to change your thoughts and feelings decreases, you become more at peace with yourself and the world

In summary, she shared this wonderful poem by Derek Walcott:

Love After Love

The time will come

when, with elation

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Audio Books: A New Horizon

Published on May 24, 2010 in Creative Nonfiction, Creativity, General Information, Memoir, Musings, Publishers, Reading, writer blog and Writers and Their Notebooks. Tags: , , , , , .

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The first book on tape I ever listened to was of Frank McCourt reading his memoir, Angela’s Ashes. I had a two-hour drive to Los Angeles and no doubt, my destination came too quickly. In addition to hearing his amazing story, Frank had a distinctive and compelling reading voice which simply made you want to listen to the entire book at once, but in reality that was not possible.

A few weeks ago, I was invited by a colleague to read my latest book, Writers and Their Notebooks for a reading marathon at The Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic in Santa Barbara. The small and efficient office was set up with a few recording booths and after signing in I was asked what I wanted to read. T.C. Boyle had just read there the day before and obviously the person checking me in did not know I was also an author. My friend stepped in (thankfully) and said, “She’s going to read her own work, of course.”

It was one of those honored moments when I felt proud to be a published author. I was equally honored to learn that soon my book would be made available to blind and learning disabled persons across the country. I had read sections of my book at book signings, but never entire chapters at a time.

I was handed a copy of my book which had been marked up with instructions on to how to read it out loud. My glass-enclosed booth faced another glass-enclosed cubicle occupied by a woman who would spot me and give hand signals telling me when to start and finish.

At the start of each page I was to announce ‘new page.’ When I forgot, she stopped the tape and rewound it for me to start over. After a few pages I got into the rhythm and, as difficult as it was, I had to resist the temptation to change or edit the words.

After reading for a while, I came to the beginning of a new page, looked up, but did not see the woman make any motions. I coughed to get her attention while watching her eyes following the lines on her copy of  my book. She stopped the recording and said, “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry, your voice was so hypnotic.”

There are not many times in a writer’s life when one gets that mushy feeling in the heart and I can safely say this was one of those times. I was delighted that my reading was seemingly as effective on this woman as Frank McCourt’s was on me. It made me want to donate more of my time to the worthy cause.

That night I came home to find a recent issue of Publisher’s Weekly which was highlighting, “Everything Audio.” One article of great interest to me was called, “Storytelling: Authors Reading Their Own Work,” by Adam Boretz. He made a few comments which really resonated with me. “The greatest challenge,” [of recording an audio book] said novelist Sam Lipsyte, “was being shut up in a booth with no sense of how things are really going. With an audience, you can tell if you are losing them, if they are falling asleep, laughing in the wrong places. But this was more of a floating-in-space deal.”

One author compared audio books to the southern tradition of oral storytelling. Other authors feel that reading their book out loud changes there perception of it and offers them new insights. Deepak Chopra who has  done many audio books says that reading his books out loud sometimes leads to new insights and ideas. It can also give the author ideas about where to edit in the book’s next revision.

Some writers claimed that it was important to get a good night’s sleep before the reading and make sure to also drink enough fluids. The funniest statement about doing audio recordings, however, was made by novelist Joshua Ferris who said, “I think the biggest lesson I learned is don’t drink sparkling water because it makes your stomach gurgle.” Now that’s something to remember!

The New Journal – Author Blogging

Published on April 26, 2010 in Author Blog, inspiration, Journaling, Journals, Musings, Passions, writer blog, Writers and Their Notebooks, writing and Writing, journaling. Tags: , , , .

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Dear Reader ~

The art of being an author means that it is no longer enough to craft a compelling manuscript and submit to an agent or publisher. We are now told that no matter what the size of our publishing house we need to do our fair share of marketing.  We must now be excellent promoters of their work and with this revolution comes the relatively new interface of the author blog.

Over the years, my journals have been a conglomeration of personal and impersonal—

scribblings which sometimes lead to published work, but other times include lists of things to do and books to read. Now that some of my scribbles have gone public, I find myself a little more reflective. I try to keep my blog entries general enough so that those who are not authors will also find them stimulating, but those particularly interested in the writing life will gain some personal insight into their chosen field.

In general, there continues to be an intrigue and mystique associated with the writing life. I learned this while editing my last book, Writers and Their Notebooks (The University of South Carolina Press, 2010), and how fascinated readers are to hear about how the writer’s mind works. Even though we don’t get paid much, many people still say they would love to be a writer if they had time. In fact, yesterday I had lunch with a dear friend whose son asked her, “Mom, if you could be famous for anything what would it be?” She turned to him and in spite of working in a completely unrelated field, said, “I would want to be a famous writer.”

Surely everyone else’s grass looks greener, but if you love to read you probably would be proud to call yourself a writer. OK. I’m veering from the subject of blogging, but also making a point that there are different types of author blogs and it’s beauty is that it gives you a chance to ramble and muse. Alas, I have made a promise to my readers that my blog will never exceed 1000 words, and most often they hover around 700. Long blogs will loose readership. We simply all have too much to do.

Many authors already have blogs, but if you are considering one, here are some things you should know about the different types of blogs:

Daily Blog – Even though at first, this may seem like a wonderful idea because it inspires regular writing, these types of blogs are very difficult to maintain over a long period of time. The idea is that writing your blog should not be a chore, but something you actually look forward to doing. You also want to make them stimulating and interesting to read, unlike the journals you kept as a young child. In your first draft, you can start by writing, “Dear Diary,” and write from your heart, write about what really interests you and chances are it will also interest your readers. Then go back and cut what might not be interesting.

Weekly Blog – This is what I do, because a week’s time frame presents itself with enough material to filter through and find something captivating to write about. If nothing happened or sparked your interest in the past week, then write about something in the news which interests you. Write about what you’ve read. Write about a movie you saw.

Subject-directed blog – This is a good type of blog, particularly if you are a nonfiction writer who specializes in a particular topic, whether you’re a politician, scientist, activist, photographer, fashion designer, medical practitioner, painter or filmmaker. These types of blogs stir up the most controversy and will probably get the most comments.

Group Blogs – This is a good way to go if you are unable to make the commitment to a weekly blog. You might want to gather a group of authors together who write similar books and take turns blogging. If you choose this route, make sure you have a list of guidelines laid out in the beginning. In addition to my personal blog, I am a guest blogger and columnist on a few other blogs and I enjoy the occasional and refreshing nature of this arrangement.
What makes a powerful blog? This is an important question because unlike diaries, there’s really no use for a blog without readership. I suppose we should ask our readers, but many of mine have told me that they were just thinking about the subject I blogged about, which I guess means that my blogs are very timely. So here are some tips I live by which might help you:

1 – Have your finger on the pulse on the times.

2 – Let your personality shine through. Readers are attracted to passion in writing.

3 – Write well and compelling text. Sometimes a good writer can make an uninteresting story or life sound very interesting. It’s all in the writing.

4 – Update regularly. My readers expect my entries on Monday.

5 – Stay ahead of yourself. Typically I am one week ahead, just in case and I cannot blog on a Monday, I always have an entry in the hopper.

And the best news of all, (before this blog entry gets too long), is once in a while we hear that blogs can sometimes lead to a book contract – now wouldn’t that be a perk?