Archive for the 'Journals' Category

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The Mystery of Inspiration

The January/February 2011 issue of Poets & Writers focuses on “Inspiration.” The issue is stacked with fabulous articles on the subject giving insight to the age-old question typically asked of writers and other creative individuals, whether at conferences, coffee shops or in airplanes: “Where do you get your story ideas from?”

Most writers will respond by saying that their ideas come to them from life, talking to people, observing and through reading, but in his article, “The Greatest Mystery: Where Writers Ideas Come From,” contributing writer, Kevin Nance digs even deeper into this subject.

We agree that inspiration cannot be confined or commanded and its nature is so unpredictable and random, it makes it much more difficult to analyze.

Many writers regard inspiration superstitiously: when they are inspired by an idea they will not share it with anyone until the work is written or sold, out of fear the idea might be stolen.

Typically, says Nance, ideas are triggered by the real world – “Sometimes by events that occurred in the distant past, as recorded in historical books and records.” Others might get ideas from their own personal lives, whether they are writing fiction, nonfiction or poetry.

Some writers get their inspiration while traveling. One of my favorite poets, Yusef Komunyakaa, says: “Strange hotel rooms at midnight in cities I would never have dreamt I’d see, as a boy from rural Louisiana, are, in such moments, places of revelation.”

For myself and other writers, such as poet David Rivard, sitting in public places like coffeeshops help to generate wonderful ideas. “There’s something about the slight distraction of being in a public place that really works to help generate ideas,” he says. Other writers, like Charles Baxter, get ideas while driving.

The trick, says Nance, is knowing which ideas are useful or worth pursuing. Oftentimes, he says, the new idea is the keyhole, the room that contains the poem, story, or novel, has already been under construction for some time. The idea has appeared as an emissary; the room is asking to be entered.

Writers like T.C. Boyle and Anne Rice are both fascinated by how so many of their ideas stem from obsessive concerns which oftentimes they might not be aware of during the writing process. There’s no doubt that these two, are obsessed by particular subjects which appear over and over again in their work. It seems there might be an upside to being obsessed, particularly if it generates powerful and wonderful work.

Ideas might do not necessarily reveal their potential right away, but only after a lapse or period of contemplation. In general, inspiration comes from having passion, whether its seen on the surface or more deeply-seated. Inspiration helps us feel alive, connected and energized and comes in many shapes and forms. Sometimes it is difficult to find inspiration, but the key is to use all of your senses as much as possible. In other words, keep your ears and eyes open.

So what inspires you, my valued reader?

New Year Musings

Typically, this is the time of the year when many of us make promises to ourselves that we are unable to keep. Recent studies have shown that only about twelve percent of those who make New Year’s resolutions actually achieve their goals. Some believe that if you share the content of your resolution with someone else, then your chances of success are increased, but there is no guarantee.

Making a New Year’s resolution involves committing oneself to a new habit, breaking an old one or making a personal lifestyle change. Anyway, what can be so wrong with improving ourselves? I have always been curious about the spectrum of New Years’ Resolutions. Recently I researched to see what were the most popular, here are the ten most common from year to year:

1. Spend more time with family and friends
2. Get fit
3. Get slim
4. Quit smoking
5. Quit drinking
6. Enjoy life more
7. Decrease debt
8. Help others
9. Get organized

This year, rather than making a New Year’s Resolution, I have decided to use these and use the suggestions of writer Carolyn Graham who offers the following advice for those she calls, “wicked”:

(http://debramoffitt.wordpress.com/?p=236&preview=true)

1. Create harmless mischief whenever possible. Find a friend who likes to incite you and will share in some mischievous hilarity. If there are no friends available, use your best thinking and mentally engineer an event designed precisely to meet your needs.
2. If someone tells you your bread’s not baked, or you have a loose screw, or your elevator doesn’t go to the top, consider yourself highly complimented and extraordinarily gifted. You have probably shed some of the constricting and restricting bounds of convention.
3. Look in the mirror: acknowledge and celebrate yourself as a masterpiece in progress. All of us are superb examples of a true work of art, an ever developing piece, even if some of the places have shadows.
4, Walk into each day as if you owned the world. Put your head up, your shoulders back, and swagger a bit. Remember, with choices about how you think, you do own your own space…your world.
5. If you can’t believe you’re great, then act like you are! Being great means reaching for a hand when you need one and offering one to others who could use some kindness.
6. Buy a new technical gadget you have been wanting. Explain the purchase by declaring that the intellectually stimulating affects of learning to operate the device enhance the performance of your immune system.
7. If you like dark chocolate, keep some readily available and slowly savor a tiny bit on a regular basis. The given pleasure will probably off set any potentially harmful affects. That’s a risk worth taking!
8. Absolutely DO NOT act your age. Retaining childlike behaviors probably goes a long way toward staying vital, alert, and healthy. If you have supposed that to be true, applaud yourself, dance a bit, and invite a friend for a play date.

Happy New Year to one and all!

Namaste,
Diana

The Fine Art of Storytelling

Lately I have found myself contemplating the fine art of storytelling. Some people are wonderful at it and others just want to make you yawn. The idea of storytelling is the conveying of events in words, images, sounds and embellishments. It is a way to express the emotional power of information. Robert McKee, in his book, Story, says “Stories are equipment for living.” In fact, when a story is told well, the listener is transported on a journey to a new place.

According to John Gardner, “Like other kinds of intelligence, the storyteller is partly natural, partly trained. It is composed of several qualities, most of which, in normal people, are signs of either immaturity or incivility: wit (a tendency to make irreverent connections); obstinacy and a tendency toward churlishness (a refusal to believe what all sensible people know is true); childishness (an apparent lack of mental focus and serious life purpose, a fondness for daydreaming and telling pointless lies, a lack of proper respect, mischievousness, an unseemly propensity for crying over nothing); a marked tendency toward oral or anal fixation or both (the oral manifested by excessive eating, drinking, smoking, and chattering; the anal by nervous cleanliness and neatness coupled with a weird fascination with dirty jokes); remarkable powers of eidetic recall, or visual memory (a usual feature of early adolescence and mental retardation); a strange admixture of shameless playfulness and embarrassing earnestness, the latter often heightened by irrationally intense feelings for or against religion; patience like a cat’s; a criminal streak of cunning; psychological instability; recklessness, impulsiveness, and improvidence; and finally, an inexplicable and incurable addiction to stories, written or oral, bad or good. Not all writers have exactly these same virtues, of course. Occasionally one finds one who is not abnormally improvident.”

The holiday season is a good time to share stories amongst friends and family. Some people are better at verbal storytelling, while others, like myself, prefer to revert to the written word. Many of our preferences and comfort zones reflect back to the patterns of our childhoods. As an only child of working parents, I spent a lot of time reading and writing in my journal. My parents were first generation immigrants and worked very long hours to provide food for our table. Dinners were often rushed with a minimum amount of storytelling unless we had a visitor who probed us. As a result, I was raised with books and paper, but gravitated to friends who were good storytellers because my situation made me a good listener. Things haven’t changed. I am who I am.

Lately, I’ve become good friends with a few great storytellers and I have been captivated, mesmerized and curious about what it is that’s missing for me to tell a good story. I have also done some reading to improve my own verbal storytelling (my family often tells me, I neglect to build up the tension and/or I omit the punch line). Heading into my sixth decade, I plan to improve this. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

- Before telling your story, you need to know it well and/or memorize it
- Vary the pitch in your voice when telling a story
- Make sure your facial expressions coincide with the story’s mood
- Make sure the sequence of events is correct
- Build up to the story’s climax
- When finished do not go on to another story
- Practice storytelling in front of a mirror

One thing I also read was the importance of putting on a “story hat.” In other words, just before you are to tell a story, put on your story hat which gets you in the mood to tell your story. It is a way to take your mind off your audience, particularly if you are on the shy side.

If you are curious about some more tips in this area, I suggest you check out a great you-tube on the subject, called, “Storytelling: Theory and Practice.”

A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all!

This blog will be taking a two-week hiatus.

Namaste,
Diana

The Revival of the Handwritten Note

Ever since my parents sent me to sleep away camp at the age of six, with a box of stationary and an assortment of pens, I have been a devoted letter writer. There is something special about holding a pen in my hand and feeling the paper under my palm. My mother has always been an amazing letter correspondent. Even if these were just a few words scribbled on a note card, she loved the idea of a handwritten note, stamped and finished with a sealing wax seal on the back flap, usually with her initial, “E.”

The handwritten letter is romantic, poetic and sensual. It’s more permanent, purposeful, engaging, reflective, thoughtful, individualized and requires and more effort than a cold electronic email message.

In many ways, emails, texting and instant messaging have brought back some of the qualities of letter writing skills, although for many people, it has taken away the allure of the stamped letter mailed at the corner mailbox. Even though most of my day is spent at the computer composing emails, I do have a drawer totally dedicated to stationary and note paper. After all, an email is not a ‘real’ letter and in many ways receiving a stamped letter delivered by the mailman seems to hold more weight and be more credible. It is just so precious. Although we can save emails, there is nothing like saving a handwritten letter, something we have stored away, a piece of paper which reminds us of a particular person. Sometimes the paper might even hold their fragrance. There are also many times when I begin writing a handwritten note in my journal and then copy it onto nice paper to mail.

Word processors are ubiquitous now, but holding a hand-written letter elicits different feelings than a typewritten one. Writing a handwritten letter is the next best thing to showing up at someone’s door. A hand-written letter also holds the story of the letter’s journey, perhaps across many miles. It holds the spirit and energy of the person who wrote it in a very tangible way.

When each of my children were born I wrote them a letter. When my grandmother died, when I was ten, I wrote her a letter and continue to do so when I have the need to be connected with her. When my father died, twenty years ago, I wrote him a letter. All my children are grown and a few times a month I send them letters. I hope they cherish them as much as I cherish when I receive a letter, even if it is a small ‘thank you note.’ It just has so much meaning.

To write a handwritten letter, all you need is stationary which reflects your personality, a smooth-moving pen and sealing wax.
Here are some tips for writing love letters:
1) State purpose of your letter
2) Recall a romantic memory
3) Write what you love about the person
4) Write about how your life has changed since your meeting
5) Reaffirm your love
6) Summarize with a potent phrase, such as “I can’t wait to grow old with you.”
If you want to get inspired by wonderful letter writers, check out the following books:

Women’s Letters: America from the Revolutionary War to the Present, by Lisa Gunwalkd and Stephen J. Adler, editors. Dial Press. 2005.
As Always, Julia: The Letters of Julia Child and Avis DeVoto: Food, Friendship and the Making of a Masterpiece, by Joan Reardon, editor. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. 2010.
Letters to Jackie: Condolences from a Grieving Nation by Ellen Fitzpatrick, editor. HarperCollins, 2010.
P.S. I hate it Here: Kids’ Letters from Camp by Diane Falanga. Harry Abrams. 2010.

Maintaining Calm in the Chaos

Last week I returned from a retreat in Arizona with my daughter, Regine. In addition to the joy of spending some time alone together, we took some amazing classes and were exposed to great strategies for coping with the stress of everyday living. Whether you live in a big city, small town or on a farm, at some time during your life you will be exposed to stress in a way where you need to reach out for strategies. It is hoped that this article will provide you with some necessary tools.

Whether you are a full-time writer, mother, wife, husband, educator, artist, care-provider or businessperson, establishing a sense of calm should be a vital part of your life incorporated in your every day. This can be accomplished by engaging in activities such as yoga, meditation, exercise or reading.

During our recent sojourn in Arizona, we did a lot of meditation and yoga. One of my favorite meditations done close to bedtime, was called, “Loving Kindness Meditation.” It is a 2,500 year-old mediation practice which uses repeated phrases of good will to evoke a feeling of friendliness and kindness towards ourselves and others – another good thing to do during this busy holiday season.

There are many mantras for this meditation, to be directed toward to yourself or a loved one undergoing a difficult time. The idea is to recite the words over and over again. The one I like best is from A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield. It goes like this:

May I be filled with lovingkindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.
May (a person I love) be filled with lovingkindness
May (a person I love) be well….

One of the books I bought at the retreat was called Instant Calm by Paul Wilson, which is an absolute gem. It consists of a collection of strategies to use during stressful times. It is a reference book to be kept on anyone’s shelf because it is packed with healing and calming techniques for every day. The book is divided into four sections —“Stress Versus Calm,’ ‘Instant Calm: The Techniques,’ ‘Longer-Term Calm Solutions ‘ and ‘Crisis.’ The book is basically about crisis control and the author’s impetus for writing the book was aspirin, which is something we all might reach for during difficult times, but really it has a temporary band-aid effect and is not longlastting.

Some people might choose to skip around and read the book as needed, but it is such a fast read that my suggestion would be to read it from beginning to end, because there is something to be gleaned from every page. The book is very well-organized and has fabulous illustrations for each particular calming technique.

In summary, the author believes that to practice calm you should master the techniques before you’re confronted with stress. He emphasizes the importance of breathing and knowing how to automatically access the skills he shares in the book. To do this he says, you must: be prepared, be patient, be positive and be practical.

Here’s a link to purchase the book now:

http://www.amazon.com/Instant-Calm-Easy—Use-Techniques/dp/0452274338/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1290463515&sr=8-8

Enjoy and be calm!

Happy Thanksgiving Week !

Beginning today, I believe we should have ‘Thanksgiving week.’ Thanksgiving has always been my family’s favorite holiday primarily because it is not connected with any religion. It is a day of appreciation and a good excuse to express thankfulness and gratitude to both family and friends.

This is a also good time of year to begin gratitude journaling, particularly in view of the upcoming chaotic holiday season. Expressing gratitude not only provides you with a sense of appreciation, it reduces stress and strengthens your emotional resilience. Journaling also helps put your life into perspective, especially when things are not going well.

Gratitude journaling helps us focus on the positive aspects of life and minimizes focusing on the negatives. After a while, this attitude can spill over into the course of your day and everything else you do.

A good time to begin gratitude journaling is at the end of the day. In fact, some people keep a gratitude journal on their bedside table.

Here are some tips on how to begin:

1) Choose a journal and pen which resonates with you
2) Pick a time when you can write undisturbed for 20 minutes
3) Date the top of your page
4) Think of your day and make a list of fifteen things you are thankful for
5) Choose three items on your list to write about in more depth
6) Choose at least one person, group or organization to express your gratitude toward

Rereading your gratitude journal at a later date can also inspire you and make you smile when you are feeling down or stressed out.

One thing I am doing today to express my gratitude responding to Jim Wales’ appeal and make a donation to Wikipedia because I find the service so useful. If you choose to do the same, here is the link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanksgiving

So what are you doing to express your gratitude? I would greatly appreciate hearing from you.

Thank you, my readers for your attention. I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Speak with you next week!

Massaging Your Muse

The term muse originates from Greek mythology and refers to nine goddesses responsible for creative endeavors. These muses, or sisters, had the power to both inspire and thwart creative thought. In Ray Bradbury’s book, The Zen of Writing, he says this about muses: “What is The Subconscious to every other man, in its creative aspect becomes, for writers, The Muse.”

I believe that people and situations nourish our subconscious. In fact, some people so favorably tap into our subconscious that they provide us with ongoing creative inspiration. I try to surround myself with those who nurture my writing—those who exude positive, creative and nourishing energy.
Over the years many writers and artists have given credit to those who give a spark to their work and make their creativity move beyond the ordinary. In addition to people serving as a source of inspiration, so are situations and our environment.

Bradbury says that there are many different ways to nourish your muse, and one ritual he advocates is reading poetry every day. “Poetry,” he says, “is good because it flexes muscles you don’t use often enough. Poetry expands the senses and keeps them in prime condition.”

Another way to nourish or tap into your muse is through reading, particularly writers who you admire or want to emulate. If you write in multiple genres, it’s best to read in the genre in which you writing at the time. Some of my writing colleagues, however, are unable to read other authors while working on their own writing projects out of fear they will emulate that writer’s style. If this happens to you, you might choose to alternate your reading and writing schedules.

If your muse has temporarily deserted you, there are tricks to get back in touch. Instead of wrestling with the muse or complaining about being afflicted by writer’s block, post a list of ideas near your work area and tap into them.
Another way to inspire the muse is to do some people-watching by sitting in public places. Very quickly you can become a professional eavesdropper. Some ideal places include restaurants, bars, coffeehouses, hotel lobbies, malls and doctor’s offices. Balzac was known for sitting in Parisian cafes for hours, writing and watching people. When in public places, jot down nuggets of conversations, nuances, mannerisms, and dress. So pack up your journal, turn up your hearing aid and head out!

Poetry, people, places, art and music—the everyday world is a garden of nourishment for your muse. If you are open, listening and eager to take it all in and make it your own, then your writing will reap the benefits!

Daylight Savings Musings

For those who need a formal definition, daylight savings time is the advancement of the clocks so that the afternoons have more daylight and the mornings have less. Typically, we change our clocks one hour in the fall and one hour in the spring. The way it goes is that we put the clocks one hour back in the fall and one hour forward in the spring. To use elementary school day reminders, we spring forward and fall backwards.

Interestingly, until recently I thought Daylight Savings Time (DST) was just something all states and countries did twice a year, but upon reading I learned that this was not the case. For those of you who are interested in trivia and/or lean towards traveling, you might be interested to know the following:

• Arizona, Hawaii and Puerto Rico are the only places in the United States that do not observe DST. Instead, they observe Standard Time and do not change their clocks.

• Canada also observes DST, except for Saskatchewan and parts of Northern British Columbia.

• Most countries near the equator remain on Standard Time and do no change their clocks.

• Parts of Australia also remain on Standard Time, including, Queensland, Northern Territory and Western Australia.

• China and Japan remain on Standard Time.

There seems to be some controversy regarding the importance and necessity of observing and adhering to daylight savings time. Authorities have indicated that this gesture is beneficial to some, but for the most part, people complain that it causes confusion particularly when it comes to meetings and sleeping patterns. Farmers are amongst those who seem to object to DST and people like myself who just find it a nuisance running around the house changing clocks that are too high to reach. Thankfully, the smart engineers out there have arranged it that our technology, such as computers and iPhones are all changed automatically. Let’s bow to their brilliance.

Just to bring the subject home and close to my heart, the poet in me could not help but share a poem by Mary Oliver in regard to DST. It was posted along with others, on the opinion pages of yesterday’s Sunday, New York Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/05/opinion/poems-for-fall.html?_r=1&emc=eta1

Lines Written in the Days of Growing Darkness

Every year we have been
witness to it: how the
world descends
into a rich mash, in order that
it may resume.
And therefore who would cry out

to the petals on the ground
to stay,
knowing, as we must,
how the vivacity of what was is married
to the vitality of what will be?
I don’t say
it’s easy, but
what else will do
if the love one claims to have for the world
be true?
So let us go on

though the sun be swinging east,
and the ponds be cold and black
and the sweets of the year doomed.

Journaling and Mindfulness

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.”

Jon Kabat-Zinn

A few weeks ago presented at the Writing and Wellness Connections Conference in Georgia and attended a wonderful workshop there lead by Lucille Allegretti-Freeman. It was called, “The Three A’s of Mindful Journaling: Attention, Awareness and Acceptance.” She offered many useful tips that I’d like to share with you.

You might ask, “What is mindfulness?” Basically, mindfulness means being aware of your present experience and accepting it, being open to an entire experience, whether negative or positive. It is to understand that thoughts come and go and that feelings are to be felt. To be truly mindful, it is important to pause between and during activities.

To illustrate how mindfulness can be brought to an experience and transformative, the facilitator had us perform an interesting task. She passed around a box of raisins and asked us to pick out three and place them on our desks. She asked us to examine and tell her what we thought. Of course my first thought was “that’s what my skin will look like in twenty years!” She then told us to pick one up—touch it and roll it in our hands. Then she told us to smell it and bring it to our mouth. Once in our mouth she asked us to roll it from side to side and observe how our mouth waters and what happens to the raisin. She then told us to note how it tastes. She then advised us to gently chew it and note how the consistency changed in our mouths. We were then told to swallow it.

This was a fun exercise in the sense that it slowed us down in the moment which is what mindfulness is all about.

She then spoke about why mindfulness is so helpful in journaling. She said it brings with it curiosity, compassion, acceptance to self, and helps us recognize that thoughts are not facts and feelings are to be felt and that awareness is important to feel the fullness of the moment.

The effect of mindfulness on journaling is that you give up wanting to control your writing. You acknowledge that your life is worthy of your time and you increase your capacity to have strong emotions. As the struggle to change your thoughts and feelings decreases, you become more at peace with yourself and the world

In summary, she shared this wonderful poem by Derek Walcott:

Love After Love

The time will come

when, with elation

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Wellness and Writing

This past weekend, and for the third year in a row, I attended the Wellness and Writing Connections Conference in Atlanta. http://www.wellnessandwritingconnections.com/. I also facilitated a workshop called, “From Journal to Memoir.” The Director of the Conference, John Evans, Ph.D. is an amazing person with vision and a huge heart, who is unfortunately fighting with the demon of cancer.

The conference was packed with many compelling workshops and speakers, but for me the highlight was speaking with Brenda Stockdale, the author of You Can Beat the Odds: Surprising Factors Behind Chronic Illness and Cancer.

For more than thirteen years, Stockdale has been the director of mind/body medicine for Georgia Cancer Treatment Center. She was the national program director for the cancer support organization founded by best-selling author and surgeon, Bernie Siegel, MD.

Stockdale unequivocally believes, and research strongly supports, the connection between low stress levels and a decrease in the incidence of cancer. The mechanisms are obvious—stress can control how the immune system works and increase a person’s vulnerability for cancer.

More often than we would like to admit, each of us have heard of a physician who has given a cancer patient six months to live. How does it happen that the person outlives all predictions? According to Stockdale, it’s simple. “The effect begins in a tiny part of the brain called the limbic system. This is where your experience is translated into a physical reality—like when your heart races because you are scared or excited. In this magical area of the brain, sights, sounds, thoughts and feelings are translated into biological events at lightening speed.” Thus we can have some control as to what happens in our bodies.

When Stockdale discusses the mind/body connection, she refers to applied psychoneuroimmunology, psychopharmacology, applied psychophysiology and informed recent findings in epigenetics. Her belief and more recent research have proven that the seemingly soft interventions such as writing can affect the sensitive world of the cell to facilitate rejuvenation. By regular expressive writing or journaling you can help to identify the psychological events, stresses and situations in your life, which influence your mood and your body. Writing down both your symptoms and feelings helps you to connect the dots. Sometimes sitting on smoldering negative emotions can unnecessarily use up precious positive energy.

When trying to conquer a disease, it is really not mind over matter or body, but the idea is that mind and matter affect one another. Essentially, our beliefs and belief systems become our biology. Studies have shown that those who have not gotten sick or were able to conquer their illness had the 3 C’s:

  1. control (sense of self-mastery)
  2. commitment (to themselves)
  3. challenge (the ability to see their current situation as a turning point rather than an end point)

The conference will be on hiatus for 2011, but will be strong and vibrant in March 2012.

Here’s to your health and all good things!

Diana