Archive for the 'Journaling' Category

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Poets, National Poetry Month and Keeping Journals

Published on April 4, 2011 in Journaling, Journals, Leaves of Grass, Matt Miller, National Poetry Month, Notebooks and Poetry.

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Happy National Poetry Month! Each Monday during the month of April I will discuss some of my favorite poets, a mix of men, women, Americans and Canadians, and particularly those who have used journals.

“Agonies are one of the changes of garments,
I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I
myself become the wounded person,
My hurt turns upon me as I lean on a cane
and observe.”
~ Walt Whitman

It has been said that many poets use journals to craft the early drafts of their poems and literary icons, such as Walt Whitman, are no exception. Walt Whitman (1819-1892) was born on Long Island, New York to parents who supposedly had Quaker beliefs. He lived in Brooklyn where he worked as a newspaperman and printer. He was also a volunteer during the civil war. Whitman’s major work was Leaves of Grass (1855) and he’s been called the ‘father of free verse.’ He was a part of the transition between transcendentalism and realism, using both in his own writing. At the time of its publication, Leaves of Grass was controversial, in part because of its overt sexuality. Whitman has been described as either homosexual or bisexual.

Some months back I wrote about the book, Collage of Myself: Walt Whitman and the Making of Leaves of Grass by Matt Miller where Miller brilliantly discusses the creative story behind Whitman.

There is no doubt that regardless of the type of poems poets write, it is a reflection of who they are and Whitman deftly says this, “Understand that you can have in your writing no qualities which you do not honestly entertain in yourself. Understand that you cannot keep out of your writing the indication of the evil or shallowness you entertain in yourself. if you love to have a servant stand behind your chair at dinner, it will appear in your writing—or if you possess a vile opinion of women, or if you grudge anything, or doubt immortality—these will appear by what you leave unsaid more than by what you say. There is no trick or cunning, no art or recipe, by which you can have in your writing what you do not possess in yourself. “(Journal entry, 1855-56).

Whitman’s notebooks informed his work but up until a year before Leaves of Grass was published he had no idea that he would be a poet. During that time he filled about 1854 notebooks which were written in both poetry and prose. The subjects he wrote were diverse and included astronomy, religion, linguistics, the natural world, the opera and New York. Walt Whitman has been described as a person who was intoxicated with life. His work habits reflected his interest in writing directly from living impulses or reactions to his immediate perceptions. Whitman pioneered the creative technique more commonly known as collage which has been traced back to Picasso and Braque. In this technique he pasted together fragments of text in his notebooks and manuscript drafts to form various sequences.

Here’s one of my favorites from Leaves of Grass:

To A Stranger

PASSING stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you, 

You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me as of a
dream,) 

I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you, 

All is recall'd as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured, 

You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours only nor left my body mine only, 

You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass, you take of my
beard, breast, hands, in return, 

I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake at night alone, 

I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again, 

I am to see to it that I do not lose you.

Intriguing Ancestors – A Journaling Idea

Published on March 21, 2011 in Author Blog, Journaling, Journals, Memoir, writer blog, writing and Writing, journaling.

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A few weeks ago I was asked to write a blog entry on Red Room about my most intriguing relative. Coming from a family of interesting characters, my choices were many, but I decided to write on my grandmother, Regina. Below is my entry, and I would also like to hear from you. Who is your most intriguing ancestor?

As the daughter in a family who immigrated in the 1930s from Europe, I have a slew of very interesting ancestors. If I had to pick one to highlight, it would be my grandmother, Regina. I actually studied her life in great depth for my memoir, REGINA’S CLOSET: FINDING MY GRANDMOTHER’S SECRET JOURNAL (Beaufort Books, 2007).

At the age of twelve, Regina was orphaned in Poland during World War I. Her mother, who she had to identify on the infirmary’s floor, died of cholera and her father, who could not handle the loss, died shortly thereafter. Regina was left to care for herself and her younger, then ten-year-old sister, as both of her older brothers fled to Austria. Losing both her parents caused Regina to grow up quickly. She continued to go to school while holding down a number of part-time jobs.

She later decided to move to Vienna to be near her brothers. She was able to work part-time in banks but all along her true passion was to become a doctor. However, she did not have the emotional or financial support to get into medical school. While still working at the bank, she decided to attend modeling school. This was where she met her husband, Samuel.

They married, and had one daughter, Eva, my mother. In 1937, just before World War II broke out, the three of them emigrated to the United States. She raised Eva and worked in Sam’s retail store. With her continuing passion for medicine, she decided many years later, in the early 1950s, to write a letter to the NYU Department of Medicine for admission. They immediately turned her away because she was a woman and she did not have any financial support. Regina continued to work at Sam’s retail store while still lacking an intellectual challenge.
At the time of my birth in 1954, she decided she wanted to become my caretaker because my mother wanted to work full-time. When I turned ten and started to show signs of independence, she no longer felt needed. The torments of her childhood were still deeply imbedded in her and these torments, coupled with my independence, resulted in her suicide in 1964.

Many years later and about the time my parents moved out of my childhood home, we discovered her journal. It was a retrospective journal depicting her life in Europe and being orphaned during World War I. This was the basis of Regina’s Closet. While writing the book, I realized the important role she played in my life as a writer. During the time when she took care of me, she taught me to write stories on her Remington typewriter which was perched on the vanity in her room. After reading her journal, I also realized that I had inherited her journaling gene, because for years, journaling has also been my passion. For all this and more I thank my amazing and intriguing grandmother.

Keeping Time : 150 Years of Journaling

Published on February 28, 2011 in Author Blog, autobiographies, breast cancer, Depression, Healing With Words, Health and Wellness, Journaling, Journals, writer blog, writing, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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A few years back I submitted some very personal journal entries to a proposed anthology. I was delighted to hear that Keeping Time: 150 years of Journal Writing edited by Mary Azrael and Kendra Kopelke was recently published. This is a rare collection of journal entries all under one cover. As the editors state in their poignant introduction, “For many people, journal writing is a private activity, spontaneous and revealing, not intended for an audience of strangers.” But these editors did a stellar job of putting together 37 wonderful pieces with subjects ranging from everyday life parental issues, raising children, nature, travel, health and historical events. “Keeping Time,” they go on to say, “stands as witness to the times spanning from our great grandparents to today. It opens a way into our history at its most intimately and sincerely felt, and expands our sense of what a notebook can do to connect us more fully to our lives.”

My submission represented the year 2001, and I have posted it below:

I have been keeping a journal since the age of ten. Over the years, my journal has been my friend and confidant to help me through difficult times. I strongly believe in the powerful healing qualities of the written word.
Today, I teach journaling to breast cancer survivors and high-risk teens. During my breast cancer journey, writing became my lifeline and a way to give voice to my deepest feelings.

The following is an excerpt from my memoir/self-help book, HEALING WITH WORDS: A WRITER’S CANCER JOURNEY.

August 22 (one-day post-op)
I wake up in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) today and Simon sits beside me holding my hand. One part of me wants to look down at the hospital gown covering this corset-like gauze bandage around my chest. Yet another part of me is scared out of my mind. The nurse helps me to the bathroom and I avoid the mirror as if it holds the most dreaded secret. I want to rip it off the bathroom wall. I never want to see myself naked. While walking back to bed, I look over at Simon and begin sobbing with no respite. I know in my heart that one day soon I will have to look at my chest. My hope is that my plastic surgeon will make all the necessary explanations. I am happy that the surgery is behind me, but now I must begin preparing to walk down an even more arduous road. I must get used to the new me.

August 23
Today my mood oscillates back and forth. One moment I want to touch my newly-created breast and the next minute I never want to see it. I am pleased that the reconstruction was done immediately following the mastectomy. After breakfast, I pulled the nurse’s cord to help me sit up. I am terribly sore from being in one position. By the time she arrives moments later, I have already changed my mind. I put my hand over my right breast and feel nothing. I do the same on the left. I can only feel the slight pressure of my hand. How will I ever get used to having no sensations. My right nipple had always been more sensitive than and easily stimulated than my left, but now there is a sense of nothingness, numbness, a void.

Today the nurse removed the bandage around my chest. I looked the other way while crying into my pillow. I felt nothing. My plastic surgeon said some sensations might eventually return, but never again could I become sexually aroused on my right side. So, I have two breasts, but really only one. My sensations have been severed forever. Never again would I experience that sublime tingling when Simon runs his fingers over my rather large nipple—never again on that side. Never could I experience the joy and tingles from let-down reflex when my babies sucked for the first time. I loved that sensation which permeated my soul and brought me such joy.

August 27
The books I have read, and my nursing experience warned me that depression is common following many surgeries, particularly breast surgery, because of the huge psychological component of losing a breast. I should be optimistic because my breast surgeon says that the cancer has been removed. He says I am lucky that it did not spread into my lymph nodes. Yes, this is a true blessing, but there are moments when this is not enough to console me. My father taught me to look at the glass half full and not half empty. I’m trying. Really trying. But, this entire event has been surreal. My defenses are stripped. I have no strength left in my body except for the weeping. Tears flow like an endless river. They pour out without warning and dry up without notice.

August 28
I look around me and see all the technology. I think of my husband, an engineer, and how people like himself have made mine and so many others’ survival possible. He is a fixer. On so many other occasions he wants to quickly make everything better for me. His smile and touch are so healing. He has so much power, but he cannot bring my breast back to me. He says he wishes he had a magical wand to make me feel better. I tell him that the wand was discarded the day it brought him into my life. One person cannot be bestowed with any more luck than me. He implores me to think positively.

Sometimes life is not so simple. I don’t want to say this to him because he tries so hard to soothe me. It’s still early in my post-operative period, but I already feel physically and emotionally changed and drained. In some ways it is easier being far from home. My predicament somehow seems clearer and my mind less distracted by familiar surroundings.

September 3
Today I am nearly two weeks post-op. I do not feel any better emotionally than the day they rolled me out of the cold and sterile operating room. My emotional strength is barely returning. I still get teary-eyed for no obvious reason. This morning, the nurses bathed me. They helped me to the chair where I tried reading a magazine, but my mind wandered. Everything makes me cry, even glancing at the latest hairstyles in the magazine. I feel trapped inside this body that I don’t know anymore.

Here’s what I look like. On my right side is a drainage tube tucked into a hole beneath my mastectomy site. On the same side, another tube leads to the incision in my back where they have removed the muscle and tissue to cup my saline implants. The tube leads to this thing that looks like a hand grenade which dangles from my side. This grenade drains the blood from my wounds, but I think it does the same from my heart. It needs to be emptied three times each day. It’s gross and yet another reminder of my missing breast. When we go to dinner at the hotel’s restaurant, the only thing I can wear are baggy men’s shirts to hide my tube and stupid grenade.

Getting up and going to the bathroom is such an ordeal. I need at least ten minutes to prepare for the departure from my bed. Getting all the wires organized is truly a monumental task. I cannot lean on my back; the drainage tube sticks straight out. I cannot lean on my right side—another tube. They hurt like hell. There are no more comfortable positions left for me. Jeannine [mother-in-law] asked if I have been writing. She must be kidding! I have so much to write about, but I cannot focus. My mind wanders beyond belief. Life is fuzzy and not even eyeglasses can help. I am just plain frustrated. I can only muster these few words and even these exhaust all of my energy.

September 4
Today I will go visit my plastic surgeon. It seems as if the past couple of weeks have been surreal. A thick cloud suspends over me. How did I get here? I was diligent about my annual mammograms and check-ups. On the first day of my menstrual cycle I diligently did self-breast exams in the shower. There is no cancer in my family. Why am I lying here all mutilated?

I have never thought much about cancer, but one thing I know is that if cancer is in your body, you better get it out quickly. Having had reconstructive surgery at the same time as my mastectomy has put my mind at ease. Even though I have refrained from looking at myself naked in the mirror, there was a sense of relief to waking up with a mound on my right side, even if it was not my own breast, but just a sack of saline water.

September 6
I’m trying to take the position that cancer is no longer lurking inside of me. I did have cancer, but it is now all gone. All of it. I don’t like the sound of the term ‘breast cancer.’ People equate cancer with death. I refuse to die.
When I first learned about my breast cancer, I wanted to hear everybody else’s escapades and everyone’s medical sagas. It seems that everyone knows someone who has had breast cancer. This is not surprising since the statistics have now risen to one in eight women. Listening to other people’s stories is boring at times, and at other times scary. Sometimes it’s inspiring to learn that others are less fortunate than me. The woman in the corridor told me about her stage III cancer. Okay, she made me feel lucky, but I just don’t want to be surrounded by negative energy.

I am so afraid that the cancer will come back. I cry about losing the breast and also about having to lose my other one. Crying comes so easily. Sometimes the tears last a few minutes, other times an hour. It all depends.

Keeping Time is available from Amazon at the link below, and it is a wonderful read. I surely hope you take the time to order and read it.

http://www.amazon.com/Keeping-Time-Years-Journal-Writing/dp/0963138545/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1297999546&sr=8-1

Studying Ralph Waldo Emerson

Published on February 21, 2011 in Author Blog, General Information, Harper's Magazine, Journaling, Journals, Old Journals, Phillip Lopate, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Reading, Walt Whitman, writer blog and writing.

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Once in a while I will choose an author or poet to read about in some detail, typically because I am being called to them or because their name crosses my desk a few times within a short period of time.

This week, Ralph Waldo Emerson is that poet. I first stumbled upon his name while investigating a doctorate in Transpersonal Psychology and he was quoted on numerous occasions, mainly because he was part of the transcendental movement which began in the mid-nineteenth century. Transcendalism is at the core of transpersonal psychology which is orientated towards many streams of thought and experience—philosophy, religion and psychology. In fact, Abraham Maslow, who played a key role in the emergence of this new psychology, studied Emerson and viewed him as a self-actualizing person. Both Maslow and Emerson rejected organized religion and believed in the transcendent forms of love, goodness, justice and beauty, in a similar way that Henry David Thoreau and Walt Whitman did.

Speaking of Whitman, I just finished the wonderful book Collage of Myself: Walt Whitman and the Making of Leaves of Grass by Matt Miller where I learned about the poignant relationship between Whitman and Emerson. Emerson wrote Whitman one of the most famous letters written to an aspiring writer which gave Whitman the confidence to forge ahead with his work. You can view the letter on this website:

http://www.classroomelectric.org/volume1/belasco/whitman-emerson.htm

Just after finishing this book, I heard from a good friend that he had recently written an essay for Harper’s Magazine on Emerson called, “Between Insanity and Fat Dullness: How I became an Emersonian.” (January 2011). For a few months prior to writing the essay, Phillip Lopate submerged himself in Emerson’s recently published journals. Lopate’s poignant essay intrigued me on many levels, and I am grateful for his writing, since I do not believe I will be able to carve out the time to read the 1,900 pages of Emerson’s journals.

Lopate says Emerson began keeping his journals “as a dreamy would-be-poet.” He goes on to say that “the journals give us, in full, Emerson’s thinking about his life.” Lopate confesses that he was truly taken by Emerson’s life and how he has become a model for him on how to overcome anxiety and despair, while at the same time making resilience eloquent.

As a journal-keeper myself, I liked that Lopate pointed to the idea that Emerson’s journals revealed his most vulnerable side. I ask you, if you cannot be vulnerable while writing in a journal, then where can you be?
Emerson began keeping journals at the age of sixteen and he filled more than 182 volumes which until now, remained unpublished. Lopate eloquently declares that Emerson was “indeed the weatherman of his own consciousness, charting his moods just as he observed on walks the changing aspects of nature and sky.” He continues, “What I respond to most in Emerson is his even keeled preoccupation with daily life, the daily mental round, and with that his resistance to the bullying closures of the apocalyptic imagination.”

Lopate also discusses Emerson’s social side and how he tried to stretch himself to accommodate others and become larger soled and more responsive, a sentiment at the core of transpersonal psychology. He also revealed that Emerson oscillated between being enchanted and annoyed by his friend’s eccentricities. Interestingly, he worried that Thoreau’s going to jail was ‘one step to suicide’ and that his retreat to the woods might end in ‘want and madness.’ I also learned that Emerson was the one who inspired Thoreau to keep a journal.

I surmise that these wise men who studied transcendentalism were simply seeking spiritual guides who could lead them into their own personal futures. In the end, they decided that the spiritual guide or God (or whatever term you prefer) is within each of us and does not represent any external entity. I could not agree more profoundly.

New Year Musings

Published on January 3, 2011 in Author Blog, autobiographies, General Information, Health and Wellness, Journaling, Journals, Musings, New Year, Passions, writer blog and Writing, journaling.

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Typically, this is the time of the year when many of us make promises to ourselves that we are unable to keep. Recent studies have shown that only about twelve percent of those who make New Year’s resolutions actually achieve their goals. Some believe that if you share the content of your resolution with someone else, then your chances of success are increased, but there is no guarantee.

Making a New Year’s resolution involves committing oneself to a new habit, breaking an old one or making a personal lifestyle change. Anyway, what can be so wrong with improving ourselves? I have always been curious about the spectrum of New Years’ Resolutions. Recently I researched to see what were the most popular, here are the ten most common from year to year:

1. Spend more time with family and friends
2. Get fit
3. Get slim
4. Quit smoking
5. Quit drinking
6. Enjoy life more
7. Decrease debt
8. Help others
9. Get organized

This year, rather than making a New Year’s Resolution, I have decided to use these and use the suggestions of writer Carolyn Graham who offers the following advice for those she calls, “wicked”:

(http://debramoffitt.wordpress.com/?p=236&preview=true)

1. Create harmless mischief whenever possible. Find a friend who likes to incite you and will share in some mischievous hilarity. If there are no friends available, use your best thinking and mentally engineer an event designed precisely to meet your needs.
2. If someone tells you your bread’s not baked, or you have a loose screw, or your elevator doesn’t go to the top, consider yourself highly complimented and extraordinarily gifted. You have probably shed some of the constricting and restricting bounds of convention.
3. Look in the mirror: acknowledge and celebrate yourself as a masterpiece in progress. All of us are superb examples of a true work of art, an ever developing piece, even if some of the places have shadows.
4, Walk into each day as if you owned the world. Put your head up, your shoulders back, and swagger a bit. Remember, with choices about how you think, you do own your own space…your world.
5. If you can’t believe you’re great, then act like you are! Being great means reaching for a hand when you need one and offering one to others who could use some kindness.
6. Buy a new technical gadget you have been wanting. Explain the purchase by declaring that the intellectually stimulating affects of learning to operate the device enhance the performance of your immune system.
7. If you like dark chocolate, keep some readily available and slowly savor a tiny bit on a regular basis. The given pleasure will probably off set any potentially harmful affects. That’s a risk worth taking!
8. Absolutely DO NOT act your age. Retaining childlike behaviors probably goes a long way toward staying vital, alert, and healthy. If you have supposed that to be true, applaud yourself, dance a bit, and invite a friend for a play date.

Happy New Year to one and all!

Namaste,
Diana

The Fine Art of Storytelling

Published on December 20, 2010 in Author Blog, autobiographies, Creativity, General Information, inspiration, Journaling, Journals, Reading, writer blog and Writing, journaling.

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Lately I have found myself contemplating the fine art of storytelling. Some people are wonderful at it and others just want to make you yawn. The idea of storytelling is the conveying of events in words, images, sounds and embellishments. It is a way to express the emotional power of information. Robert McKee, in his book, Story, says “Stories are equipment for living.” In fact, when a story is told well, the listener is transported on a journey to a new place.

According to John Gardner, “Like other kinds of intelligence, the storyteller is partly natural, partly trained. It is composed of several qualities, most of which, in normal people, are signs of either immaturity or incivility: wit (a tendency to make irreverent connections); obstinacy and a tendency toward churlishness (a refusal to believe what all sensible people know is true); childishness (an apparent lack of mental focus and serious life purpose, a fondness for daydreaming and telling pointless lies, a lack of proper respect, mischievousness, an unseemly propensity for crying over nothing); a marked tendency toward oral or anal fixation or both (the oral manifested by excessive eating, drinking, smoking, and chattering; the anal by nervous cleanliness and neatness coupled with a weird fascination with dirty jokes); remarkable powers of eidetic recall, or visual memory (a usual feature of early adolescence and mental retardation); a strange admixture of shameless playfulness and embarrassing earnestness, the latter often heightened by irrationally intense feelings for or against religion; patience like a cat’s; a criminal streak of cunning; psychological instability; recklessness, impulsiveness, and improvidence; and finally, an inexplicable and incurable addiction to stories, written or oral, bad or good. Not all writers have exactly these same virtues, of course. Occasionally one finds one who is not abnormally improvident.”

The holiday season is a good time to share stories amongst friends and family. Some people are better at verbal storytelling, while others, like myself, prefer to revert to the written word. Many of our preferences and comfort zones reflect back to the patterns of our childhoods. As an only child of working parents, I spent a lot of time reading and writing in my journal. My parents were first generation immigrants and worked very long hours to provide food for our table. Dinners were often rushed with a minimum amount of storytelling unless we had a visitor who probed us. As a result, I was raised with books and paper, but gravitated to friends who were good storytellers because my situation made me a good listener. Things haven’t changed. I am who I am.

Lately, I’ve become good friends with a few great storytellers and I have been captivated, mesmerized and curious about what it is that’s missing for me to tell a good story. I have also done some reading to improve my own verbal storytelling (my family often tells me, I neglect to build up the tension and/or I omit the punch line). Heading into my sixth decade, I plan to improve this. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

- Before telling your story, you need to know it well and/or memorize it
- Vary the pitch in your voice when telling a story
- Make sure your facial expressions coincide with the story’s mood
- Make sure the sequence of events is correct
- Build up to the story’s climax
- When finished do not go on to another story
- Practice storytelling in front of a mirror

One thing I also read was the importance of putting on a “story hat.” In other words, just before you are to tell a story, put on your story hat which gets you in the mood to tell your story. It is a way to take your mind off your audience, particularly if you are on the shy side.

If you are curious about some more tips in this area, I suggest you check out a great you-tube on the subject, called, “Storytelling: Theory and Practice.”

A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all!

This blog will be taking a two-week hiatus.

Namaste,
Diana

Poetry as Medicine

Published on December 13, 2010 in Author Blog, Billy Collins, General Information, Health, Health and Wellness, Journaling, Poetry, Spalding University, writer blog, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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“Poems are not words, after all, but fires for the cold, ropes let down to the lost…as necessary as bread in the pockets of the hungry.” ~ Mary Oliver

There has been a great deal of discussion regarding the healing power of writing and reading poetry. Once again, I was reminded of this in a newly-released book called, Saved By A Poem: The Transformative Power of Words, by Kim Rosen. In her books, Rosen claims that a poem can be powerful medicine not only for the mind but for the body and soul as well. She has learned by heart more than a hundred poems, which she carries inside of her as teachers, healers and guides.

Rosen was recently interviewed by Alison Luterman in the Sun Magazine (December 2010) and I found it fascinating. She discussed the public’s sensibility about poetry and many of her ideas resonated with me in the sense that many are threatened or afraid of poetry. Part of her motivation for compiling her recent collection was to wake Americans up to the power of poetry as a way to enrich our lives. She talks about poetry as a lantern that shines in dark places within us and refers to poems as powerful medicine for personal transformation.

“To me a good poem is like a sacred mind-altering substance: you take it into your system, and it carries you beyond your ordinary ways of understanding,” she says. “Like a shaman’s drum, the best of a poem can literally entrain the rhythms of your body: your heartbeat, your breath, even your brain waves, altering consciousness.”

Perie Longo, PhD, MFT, Santa Barbara’s former Poet Laureate, who held several board positions for the National Association for Poetry Therapy also wrote a wonderful article on the subject called, “Healing Effects of Poetry.” Longo says that “the focus of poetry for healing is connection to the individual for self-expression and growth, whereas the focus of poetry as art is the poem itself. But both use the same tools and techniques; the end product is often the same.” Longo teaches poetry for healing and in her classes has many tips to help spark the writing process. She suggests to her class to begin with the phrase, “I have the right…”The article is filled with lots of useful information.

http://www.allthingshealing.com/Psychotherapy/Healing-Effects-of-Poetry/6350

As a teen, I wrote poetry inspired by reading the works of Rod McKuen, but really did not return to the genre until my 40s while raising children and feeling some strong emotions pertaining to child-rearing and life in general. What really inspired me to begin again was attending a reading by Billy Collins in 2002 during my MFA in Writing at Spalding University in Louisville, Kentucky. I realized how accessible and funny narrative poetry could be. I laughed and cried listening to Billy read. I went home that night and wrote my first poem about how men love watching women park because they think we don’t know how to drive.

Since then I have incorporated writing poetry into my journaling classes. The holiday season is a wonderful time to bring poetry into your life to help cope with the stresses that accompany it. Try it and I bet you will like itTry it you will like it!

The Revival of the Handwritten Note

Published on December 6, 2010 in Author Blog, Journaling, Journals, Letter Writing, Musings, writer blog and Writers and Their Notebooks.

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Ever since my parents sent me to sleep away camp at the age of six, with a box of stationary and an assortment of pens, I have been a devoted letter writer. There is something special about holding a pen in my hand and feeling the paper under my palm. My mother has always been an amazing letter correspondent. Even if these were just a few words scribbled on a note card, she loved the idea of a handwritten note, stamped and finished with a sealing wax seal on the back flap, usually with her initial, “E.”

The handwritten letter is romantic, poetic and sensual. It’s more permanent, purposeful, engaging, reflective, thoughtful, individualized and requires and more effort than a cold electronic email message.

In many ways, emails, texting and instant messaging have brought back some of the qualities of letter writing skills, although for many people, it has taken away the allure of the stamped letter mailed at the corner mailbox. Even though most of my day is spent at the computer composing emails, I do have a drawer totally dedicated to stationary and note paper. After all, an email is not a ‘real’ letter and in many ways receiving a stamped letter delivered by the mailman seems to hold more weight and be more credible. It is just so precious. Although we can save emails, there is nothing like saving a handwritten letter, something we have stored away, a piece of paper which reminds us of a particular person. Sometimes the paper might even hold their fragrance. There are also many times when I begin writing a handwritten note in my journal and then copy it onto nice paper to mail.

Word processors are ubiquitous now, but holding a hand-written letter elicits different feelings than a typewritten one. Writing a handwritten letter is the next best thing to showing up at someone’s door. A hand-written letter also holds the story of the letter’s journey, perhaps across many miles. It holds the spirit and energy of the person who wrote it in a very tangible way.

When each of my children were born I wrote them a letter. When my grandmother died, when I was ten, I wrote her a letter and continue to do so when I have the need to be connected with her. When my father died, twenty years ago, I wrote him a letter. All my children are grown and a few times a month I send them letters. I hope they cherish them as much as I cherish when I receive a letter, even if it is a small ‘thank you note.’ It just has so much meaning.

To write a handwritten letter, all you need is stationary which reflects your personality, a smooth-moving pen and sealing wax.
Here are some tips for writing love letters:
1) State purpose of your letter
2) Recall a romantic memory
3) Write what you love about the person
4) Write about how your life has changed since your meeting
5) Reaffirm your love
6) Summarize with a potent phrase, such as “I can’t wait to grow old with you.”
If you want to get inspired by wonderful letter writers, check out the following books:

Women’s Letters: America from the Revolutionary War to the Present, by Lisa Gunwalkd and Stephen J. Adler, editors. Dial Press. 2005.
As Always, Julia: The Letters of Julia Child and Avis DeVoto: Food, Friendship and the Making of a Masterpiece, by Joan Reardon, editor. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. 2010.
Letters to Jackie: Condolences from a Grieving Nation by Ellen Fitzpatrick, editor. HarperCollins, 2010.
P.S. I hate it Here: Kids’ Letters from Camp by Diane Falanga. Harry Abrams. 2010.

Maintaining Calm in the Chaos

Published on November 29, 2010 in inspiration, Journaling, Journals, Musings, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

1 Comment

Last week I returned from a retreat in Arizona with my daughter, Regine. In addition to the joy of spending some time alone together, we took some amazing classes and were exposed to great strategies for coping with the stress of everyday living. Whether you live in a big city, small town or on a farm, at some time during your life you will be exposed to stress in a way where you need to reach out for strategies. It is hoped that this article will provide you with some necessary tools.

Whether you are a full-time writer, mother, wife, husband, educator, artist, care-provider or businessperson, establishing a sense of calm should be a vital part of your life incorporated in your every day. This can be accomplished by engaging in activities such as yoga, meditation, exercise or reading.

During our recent sojourn in Arizona, we did a lot of meditation and yoga. One of my favorite meditations done close to bedtime, was called, “Loving Kindness Meditation.” It is a 2,500 year-old mediation practice which uses repeated phrases of good will to evoke a feeling of friendliness and kindness towards ourselves and others – another good thing to do during this busy holiday season.

There are many mantras for this meditation, to be directed toward to yourself or a loved one undergoing a difficult time. The idea is to recite the words over and over again. The one I like best is from A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield. It goes like this:

May I be filled with lovingkindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.
May (a person I love) be filled with lovingkindness
May (a person I love) be well….

One of the books I bought at the retreat was called Instant Calm by Paul Wilson, which is an absolute gem. It consists of a collection of strategies to use during stressful times. It is a reference book to be kept on anyone’s shelf because it is packed with healing and calming techniques for every day. The book is divided into four sections —“Stress Versus Calm,’ ‘Instant Calm: The Techniques,’ ‘Longer-Term Calm Solutions ‘ and ‘Crisis.’ The book is basically about crisis control and the author’s impetus for writing the book was aspirin, which is something we all might reach for during difficult times, but really it has a temporary band-aid effect and is not longlastting.

Some people might choose to skip around and read the book as needed, but it is such a fast read that my suggestion would be to read it from beginning to end, because there is something to be gleaned from every page. The book is very well-organized and has fabulous illustrations for each particular calming technique.

In summary, the author believes that to practice calm you should master the techniques before you’re confronted with stress. He emphasizes the importance of breathing and knowing how to automatically access the skills he shares in the book. To do this he says, you must: be prepared, be patient, be positive and be practical.

Here’s a link to purchase the book now:

http://www.amazon.com/Instant-Calm-Easy—Use-Techniques/dp/0452274338/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1290463515&sr=8-8

Enjoy and be calm!

Happy Thanksgiving Week !

Published on November 22, 2010 in Author Blog, Journaling, Journals, Old Journals, writer blog, writing, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

3 Comments

Beginning today, I believe we should have ‘Thanksgiving week.’ Thanksgiving has always been my family’s favorite holiday primarily because it is not connected with any religion. It is a day of appreciation and a good excuse to express thankfulness and gratitude to both family and friends.

This is a also good time of year to begin gratitude journaling, particularly in view of the upcoming chaotic holiday season. Expressing gratitude not only provides you with a sense of appreciation, it reduces stress and strengthens your emotional resilience. Journaling also helps put your life into perspective, especially when things are not going well.

Gratitude journaling helps us focus on the positive aspects of life and minimizes focusing on the negatives. After a while, this attitude can spill over into the course of your day and everything else you do.

A good time to begin gratitude journaling is at the end of the day. In fact, some people keep a gratitude journal on their bedside table.

Here are some tips on how to begin:

1) Choose a journal and pen which resonates with you
2) Pick a time when you can write undisturbed for 20 minutes
3) Date the top of your page
4) Think of your day and make a list of fifteen things you are thankful for
5) Choose three items on your list to write about in more depth
6) Choose at least one person, group or organization to express your gratitude toward

Rereading your gratitude journal at a later date can also inspire you and make you smile when you are feeling down or stressed out.

One thing I am doing today to express my gratitude responding to Jim Wales’ appeal and make a donation to Wikipedia because I find the service so useful. If you choose to do the same, here is the link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanksgiving

So what are you doing to express your gratitude? I would greatly appreciate hearing from you.

Thank you, my readers for your attention. I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Speak with you next week!