Archive for the 'Journaling' Category

Honoring Women’s History Month

In honor of National Women’s History month, I would like to honor someone whose writing has changed my life. Her name is Anais Nin.

Anais Nin was many things to many people: friend, confidant, lover, author, philosopher, psychologist, and diarist. In many ways she was a Renaissance woman, interested and interesting in many areas. As a French-Cuban author, she was best known for her published journals that spanned 60 years. Like myself, a traumatic event turned her onto writing. When she was 11 years old, her father left the family for a younger woman. Her journals began as a letter to him and as time went on those pages became her best friend, confidant, and a crucial part of her everyday life. Here’s what she said about her diary: “[It] deals always with the immediate present, the warm, the near, being written at white heat develops a love of the living moment. One thing is very clear—that both diary and fiction tend toward the same goal: intimate contact with people, with experiences, with life itself.”

In addition to journals, she also dabbled in writing novels, shorts stories and erotic literature. For a times she also busied herself with psychotherapy, inspired by and working under Otto Rank, who had worked with Sigmund Freud.

What makes her work so appealing to women is that she provides profound insights into her own role as a woman, a sexual being and erotic spirit. This helps other women define themselves and understand who they have always wanted to become. Her written voice is powerful and compelling and the fictional female characters she created are quite strong. She was not a feminist, although I have heard that she was often invited to speak at feminist rallies and events.

My dear friend, Tristine Rainer, a powerful and accomplished woman in her own right (see her website– http://www.storyhelp.com/tristine.html” was Anais’ friend and protegee and their relationship left an indelible mark on Tristine. Often at lunch, Tristine will quote what Nin would have said or done in a given situation. Recently, I had asked Tristine to share the most important thing she learned from Nin, and she said “I learned that a crazy young woman in her twenties can become a joyful, wise woman in her sixties. It was her [Nin’s] belief that we can transform ourselves and our lives through self-creation. And that diary writing was a way.”

Some of my favorite thoughts from the writings of Anais Nin:

Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.

We don’t see things as they are, we see them how we are.

Passion gives me moments of wholensss.

Group activities weaken our will. They may be a solace to loneliness, but they do not foster the individual creative will.

The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say.

We write to taste life twice, in the moment, and in the retrospection… We write to be able to transcend our life, to reach beyond it. We write to teach ourselves to speak with others, to record the journey into the labyrinth.

There were always in me, two women at least,
one woman desperate and bewildered,
who felt she was drowning and another who
would leap into a scene, as upon a stage,
conceal her true emotions because they
were weakness, helplessness, despair,
and present to the world only a smile,
an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.

While an MFA student at Spalding University, I rediscovered Nin in the course of my research on diaries and their healing and cathartic benefits. Because a traumatic event triggered or set the platform for both of our writing careers, her story resonated with me. Furthermore, I admired the candor with which she wrote. Her words strongly embodied her deepest sentiments, so much so that the reader experiences similar feelings. When I wrote my first poetry book, I dedicated the book to her and called it, Dear Anais: My Life in Poems for You. My introduction which includes a letter to Nin, finishes like this: “You have taught me the intrinsic value of the written word, how to dig deeper into my emotional truth, and the importance of having love in my life. And for this I thank you.”

And thank you to all the women out there who have, through their good works, empowered the lives of other women. For more information on National Women’s History Month, check out this link:

http://womenshistorymonth.gov/


READERS
: I would also love to hear which woman has inspired you in your own life and/or career…

The Spell of Perception

I just finished a very powerful book by David Abram called, The Spell of the Sensuous. According to Abram, Merleau Ponty “spent much of his life demonstrating that the event of perception unfolds as a reciprocal exchange between the living body and the animate world that surrounds it.” Thus, we can say that perception is a sensorial experience and in transpersonal terms, it is an embodied experience. Abram says that, in fact, we all tend to mentally attach to a particular emotion or feeling, and our body is often found responsible for responding to it. He illustrates this by using the example of a newborn infant who does not understand language, but he or she perceives situations and feelings in the environment through the caretaker’s gestures.

Thus, the concept of perception plays such a vital role in our lives. The importance of perception is further illustrated in the recent Academy Award winning movie, discussed in last week’s blog, “The Artist,” where gestures were the only means of communication, and each thought and feeling was conveyed through facial expressions and physical actions.

I think if we all made an effort each day to stop for a minute and journal what we are hearing, smelling, seeing and tasting, then it would provide a window of opportunity for all of us to get in touch with what is necessary to better preserve our environment. To be sensitive to our environment involves paying attention with all our senses (which is also an important tool for compelling writing).

Another point Abram made which resonated with me as a writer was how he called the written word “pivotal magic—the same magic that once sparkled for us in the eyes of an owl and the glide of an otter.” Ultimately, he says the written word is about “spinning stories that have a rhythm and lilt of the local soundscape… All these reasons are why so many powerful writers either write within the confines of nature or are influenced by it. Just think about Thoreau and Emerson… our early connections to transcendentalism. Language connects us with nature. There’s no way around it.

The Spiritual Experience of Eating

After the holidays many of us are complaining that we ate too much and not only did we eat too much, but too much of the wrong things.

I often suggest food journaling to ascertain the circumstances under which we eat. It has worked for me before and it can be very revealing. Sometimes we eat unconsciously and do not even know we are doing it!

If you decide to food journal and notice that you are eating too much and/or too often there is something else you can try. In the recent issue of The Soul/Body Connection, there was a great article, “How to Make Every Bite a Spiritual Experience” by Jean L. Kristeller, PhD. The exercises in the article were once shared with me at a seminar discussing the healing power of writing.

The idea is that journaling in combination with mindfulness while eating can make for a delicious experience. The article discusses how we can bring joy and balance back into our relationship with food. It is mostly about slowing down and savoring each bite. If you take time to watch slim individuals in restaurants eat, you will note, in general, how slow they eat and how many times they chew each piece of food. Another thing they do is that they often leave something on the plate and do not finish everything.

The author calls her approach the Mindfulness-Based Eating Awareness Training and she says that it does cut down on binging. She discusses a few meditations around eating, but the first one is called, “The Experience of Hunger.” In this meditation, she suggests shortly before a meal and for one minute, to stop and focus your attention on your breath, in the same way you might in a normal meditation practice. She then suggests you rate your hunger on a scale of 1 to 7 (7 the hungriest). The idea is to identify if you really need to eat or is it emotional or impulsive eating which is driving you to the food. Then you should think about how you will handle the foods and while eating, stop every few minutes to reassess your hunger and see if it is increasing or decreasing.

Food addiction is an increasing problem in the United States. In my forthcoming collection, Writers on the Edge: 22 Writers Speak About Addiction and Dependency, Margaret Bullitt-Jonas does a fine job sharing her own journey in her essay, “Putting Down the Duck,” which is an excerpt of her memoir, Holy Hunger: A Memoir of Desire.

Tribute to John Lennon — 31 years later …

(October 9, 1940 – December 8, 1980)

Last week celebrated the 31st anniversary of John Lennon’s death. As a hippie of the 1960s, who danced and made love to his music all day and night, my memories of his essence and songs will live with me forever. Like the rest of America, I remember seeing him first appear as part of the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1965. There was something about the music, which resonated with everyone, and the proof is that The Beatles were one of the most successful commercial groups in the history of popular music. What is even more interesting is how the lyrics can continue to resonate in your head even this many years later. Lennon had an edge to him and perhaps it was his rebellious nature, politically, socially and musically which really resonated with many of us. Rolling Stone Magazine rated him the 5th greatest singer of all time. As what you might expect from a man with five sisters, he really understood women and his relationship with Yoko Ono is one, which many of us admired.

I just finished a few pages in my journal dedicated to Lennon and the powerful influence he had in my life. In addition to loving his music, I have another connection with Lennon. My last boyfriend, before getting married lived in the Dakota, and I know exactly where he got shot by Mark David Chapman. But that’s another story…
Check out this You-Tube of Lennon and one of my favorite songs of his: IMAGINE…

Here are the lyrics:

IMAGINE
Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today…
Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace…
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world…
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

Thank You Cancer ….

Dear Readers

There is no cancer in my family, no cancer of any kind, except for mine. I am now 57 and it’s been 10 years since my diagnosis and I have never felt better.

Read more on my latest blog entry in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, on The Huffington Post

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/red-room/breast-cancer-surgery-_b_967025.html

Here’s to your health ..

Namaste,
Diana

Journaling (Non-Religious) Spirituality

Over the years I have oscillated back and forth on a spiritual continuum. After much contemplation I have come to the conclusion that I am a spiritual person but not a religious person. My spiritual journey began at the age of ten, when my mother gave me a red leather journal with Khalil Gibran sayings on the top of each page to help me cope with the then recent death of my grandmother. “Write down your feelings,” she told me, in an effort to help me through the loss. Gibran’s words of wisdom resonated with me at a deep level. His ideas also gave me something to grasp onto as I navigated through the pain and searched for reasons why she might have taken her life.

After my grandmother’s death, I also tried to find solace in traditional Passover rituals, but they just confused me. Not only did I not understand Hebrew, I didn’t even understand what the prayers meant in English and nothing was ever explained to me. As an only child of working immigrant parents I was taught to take things at face value and not look beyond.

During my early college years, I continued to search for meaning and signed up for an introductory course in transcendental meditation (TM) with Mahareshi Mahesh Yogi. The first meeting was held in an old two-story mansion. After being greeted by two young smiling women with ponytails and a sparkle in their eyes, we were escorted into the dining room where chairs were lined up in church-like fashion. When all of the seats were occupied, Maharishi gave an introduction into the practice of TM.

When the time came to raise my family, the question of religion surfaced once again. My husband and I decided to do what my father did and continued to be “Minimalist Jews,” meaning we would follow the holiday traditions, but remain unaffiliated. When our children began questioning, we chose to handle it differently than my own parents. We booted up our computers and bought some reference books and researched the meaning behind all the Jewish traditions. Fortunately, this information was much more accessible than during my own childhood where the only resource was typically the World Book Encyclopedia.

After my father passed away in 1991, we slowly abandoned many of the Jewish traditions and accentuated with our kids the simple importance of being honest, being a good person and practicing loving kindness. I also encouraged my children to meditate and take yoga classes.

In 2008 when the Dalai Lama visited my home town, I found myself passionately yanked into and moved by his words. Buddhist beliefs resonated with me at a deep level, perhaps because many are similar to those of the Jewish tradition instilled in me by my father. Others were simply common sense reminders of the importance of goodness. Here are only a few of his powerful tenets: be kind to others, whether your beliefs are similar or not; cultivate a habit of inner discipline; when our hearts are filled with love, there is no room for suspicion; one of the most beautiful aspects of being human is being able to smile; our attitude is critical for inner peace; negative thoughts and emotions obstruct our basic aspirations for happiness; and compassion belongs in every sphere of activity.

My spiritual journey has evolved from following mysterious rituals in childhood to seeing the clarity of Buddhist beliefs today. Losing my grandmother and the other sad moments in my life have made me appreciate the good times. I now welcome compassion and the fine art of living. Although Buddhism has many facets, the basic tenets of caring for and acting out of the concern for others, regardless of our religious traditions unites people, rather than dividing. This idea is so important during these tenuous and challenging times as we all search and struggle for some global meaning and sense of internal and external peace.

The Full Moon’s Effects

We have all heard that the full moon can affect human behavior and this past week’s full moon (June 15th), had a huge affect on me. I particularly recall the effects of the full moon from my days practicing as a registered nurse and the number of patients we admitted into the hospital during and around the full moon; often for baby deliveries and other ailments.

I’m not quite sure why this most recent full moon had such a dramatic affect on me. It seemed to last three or four days. During that time, I was energetic and the most discerning part was that no matter how tired I was at night I was unable to fall asleep. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling even though I avoided coffee late in the day.

The full moon represents fertility, celebration and a sense of completion. It has a tendency to give us an energy surge and also heightens our emotions. It is already known that the full moon increases the concentration of positive ions in the atmosphere resulting in both positive and negative effects which might . fluctuations in hormonal balance, hyperactivity, increased creativity, depression, road rage and migraines.

For the most part, people are affected by this increase in positive ions, while few people are affected by negative ions. Increased positive ions tends to cause an increase in serotonin in the way that anti-depressants do. For those of us who live in California, winds such as the Santa Ana winds also release positive ions in the atmosphere. So if you feel good during those winds then that might be why!

Research has shown that creative individuals, such as writers, who are working on a particular project may find that they are likely to get more ideas and thoughts pertaining to their project, creativity and writing These types of thoughts will arise out of the creative part of our brains.
During the full moon days, some people believe that their spiritual thoughts are also heightened because Spirituality lies in the sub-conscious part of the mind.

So what suggestions do I have for the full moon time of the month? From my readings, I concur that you should not fight this wonderful energy surge by taking medications or by using other crutches, but rather, try to embrace the energy and use it to your advantage. Stay up late and create. Go with the flow of what you are feeling. Write in your journal about what happened during the past month and what you might have accomplished or thought about. Think about what you want to do different in the coming month. Some people also recommend taking care of yourself in other ways during the full moon, such as eating wholesome foods, such as soups and eating more fresh fruits and vegetables.

Since you have no idea what affects the full moon will have on you, it has been suggested that you refrain from making any major decisions during the days surrounding the full moon.

To prepare you, here are the upcoming full moon dates for the remaining months of 2011:

August 13
September 12
October 12
November 10
December 10

Namaste,
Diana

Travel, Walking and Creativity

This past weekend I attended an event to celebrate the opening of a new terminal at the Santa Barbara airport. The event was called “The Art of Travel,” and it was a spectacular event with wine tasting and lots of great people-watching. As I approached one of the winery tables featuring a wine tasting the woman serving the table asked me where I was traveling to. She took me by surprise as I forgot for a few moments that I was at the airport and yes, at some point in the near future I would be traveling somewhere. “Let’s see,” I said, “always wanted to go to Ireland and Peru, so one of those places.” The woman paused and poured me a glass of wine and with a smile wished me a safe trip. I walked away and ruminated on the possibilities.

When I arrived home, I was inspired to glance at the travel section of The New York Times on my Ipad. There was a review about a new book called The Tao of Travel by Paul Theroux. It seems to be a philosophical book on travel, which I might have to pick up the next time I consider travel writing. The review discussed how writer Thoreau maintained his health and spirit by sauntering four hours a day. In this book Paul Theroux explored walking as a means of travel, although many of us don’t necessarily equate walking with a form of travel, it really is.

I began to ponder my own passion for walking and hiking and how it began. First, on the streets of Paris, where my grandfather took me each Christmas holiday, and also on the hills of New York State on hikes with my mother. These days, I continue my passion on beach walks with my dog and also on the tread mill at the gym. It seems life is all about evolution, transformation and revision.

I thought the book reviewer posed a pertinent question—why do people not think of walking as a form of travel? He quoted poet Philip Larkin who said “travel is a deliberate step backwards.” In other words it creates a new objective or homecoming and I could not agree more.

Many years ago, Patricia Fry wrote an article called “Meditation Walking for Writers,” where she suggested a walking meditation technique to help if you’re stuck in your writing. The technique is simple. The first step is to establish a schedule, anywhere between forty-five and sixty minutes each day. Dress comfortably and find a quiet place to walk. Fry suggests that while walking focusing solely only your senses—hear the sound of your shoes hitting the pavement, a sprinkler turning on, or the birds chirping. She then suggests feeling the air against your skin and how the muscles in your legs tighten with each step. Pay attention to the aromas, whether it’s the blooming flowers, budding trees or grass being cut. In other words, put yourself in the moment.

Beth Baruch Joselow in her book, Writing Without the Muse, also suggests in her chapter “Go Outside,” to explore the outdoors and discover something unfamiliar—something growing in your garden, something living under a rock, something discarded in the alley. She suggests bringing that something back to your desk to examine all its facets. She recommends writing a description of it using all your senses. She takes the exercise one step further and suggests describing the item using someone else’s voice, someone you know.

Once you try these mind-clearing techniques, you can start allowing creative ideas to filter in. Fry claims that meditation walks provide an ideal arena for problem-solving. When she feels overwhelmed, she walks to change her approach to life, whether it results in slowing down or figuring out what to do next. She suggests replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. If you think positively, then chances are it will soon become a reality.
Meditation walking is a way to relax and increase your awareness while getting some of that fresh air and exercise we all need and who knows, the side effect might be a fabulous poem or story!

Hoarding Journals and Other Items

I hoard journals but not much else, however a recent article on the subject piqued my interest. It appeared in the “Well Blog” section of The New York Times and was entitled, “Children of Hoarders.” It discussed children of hoarders who are left to their own devices to make sense of growing up in homes where having visitors was challenging because of all the inanimate objects laying around, resulting in a difficulty in navigating through clutter.

I have always been fascinated by the psychological studies people choose to undertake. Randy O. Frost, a psychology professor at Smith College for two decades has been studying the act of hoarding. (Now doesn’t that sound as if he is a hoarder of information?)

His study of hoarding surmised that children of hoarders often display a tortured ambivalence toward their parents, primarily because they have little choice but to live amongst the junk. “They grew up in a difficult environment and naturally came to resent it,” says Frost.

The Mayo Clinic defines hoarding as an excessive collecting of items and the inability to discard. Typically these items appear to have little or no value to others whether they are clothes, papers, notes or other items. Sometimes hoarding can cause a significant impairment to move around a residence or office.

I am thankful that neither of my parents were considered pathological hoarders, however, I think my father had a tinge of hoarding in his blood in response to the Nazis taking away all his belongings at the onset of World War II. He did not hoard all over the house but did have “sacred” hoarding locations which were confined mainly to his desk, closet and the garage.

You might ask, what can be done about hoarding? Here’s a summary of some suggestions offered in a 2008 article on Oprah.com and offered by Dr. David Tolin:

1. Not being able to think of a use for an object doesn’t mean you need to keep it.
Ask yourself not whether you can use the object, but whether you really will use the object. A good rule of thumb is that if you haven’t used an object in over a year—you probably can live without it.

2. More is not necessarily better.
Get rid of the extras.

3. Categorize items into piles.
Make a pile of things to keep, a pile of things to donate to charity, a pile of things to sell or give away and a pile of things to throw away.

4. Follow the “OHIO” rule: Only handle it once.
“If you pick something up, make a decision about it and then put it somewhere it belongs…if you find yourself handling things again and again, moving things from one pile to another, stop yourself. Refocus and move on,” says Tolin.

5. Don’t overthink.
“If you have to go through a long and complicated decision-making process for each and every item before you get rid of it, you’ll never get free of the clutter,” Dr. Tolin says.

6. Be brave.
“Beating compulsive hoarding requires you to face things that are very scary,” Dr. Tolin says. Those who gain the most are those who are willing to risk the most.

7. Understand what you’re afraid of, and recognize when your fears are irrational.
“Ask yourself: What’s the worst that can happen if I throw this out? Try making a prediction about what will happen if you discard an object. Then discard and see if that bad thing really happened.

8. Be patient.
You will not be able to overcome hoarding overnight.

9. Be strict with yourself.

10. Know when to ask for help.
Compulsive hoarding is a potentially serious mental health issue and some people might need professional help to cope with hoarding.

My mother was the opposite of a hoarder. She never kept anything, including all the journals I filled up as a child. That’s the flip side and I am quite upset about this! In the writing classes I teach I stress the importance of keeping old journals because you just never know when they will come in handy for a current project. This kind of hoarding is just fine, in my eyes, vz as a writer!

Journaling: A Message to All Graduating Students

I just returned from New York where I attended my son’s graduation from NYU. It was a week of celebration and festivities with many highlights, one of which was having former President, Bill Clinton, as the keynote speaker for the 179th commencement ceremony at Yankee Stadium on Wednesday, May 18th. I had my journal in my pocket and scribbled down all of his wonderful words of wisdom.

In addition to receiving an honorary doctorate, he had many poignant messages for these students, about to march out into the ‘real world.’ In spite of all the issues facing the world today, he remained positive and offered the students tips on how to navigate the tough terrain. I give him kudos for being able to focus on the positive while addressing the bleak economic and world trends. He stressed the importance of accentuating the positive forces in the world while at the same time diminishing the negative. “We need to find a way to decrease the negative,” he reiterated.

He discussed humanity and equality and summarized that “the borders of the world look more like nets than walls.” He said, “today, 10-year olds can find out something on the internet I had to go to university to learn.”

He stressed the importance of having a passion and enjoying the type of work you choose. He succinctly stated, “Do what you love, work hard at it, and don’t quit….You should strive to find happiness every day and not believe that it comes at the end of the journey and most people are happiest doing what they are good at.” Furthermore, he said, “when pursuing your dreams, you can’t quit when you fail; you can’t quit when you mess up and when life seems to deal you a tough hand.”

He talked about their future and summarized: “You must decide what you want the world to look like when your children are sitting where you are today… believe that the only way to win the planet is to share it and the only way to do it is to think of our grandchildren.”

To hear the speech in its entirety, go to this link:

http://www.nyu.edu/life/events-traditions/commencement/web-cast.html

Congratulations to all graduates, worldwide!!
Diana