Archive for the 'Creativity' Category

Serendipity, Synchronicity and Stanilav Grof

Published on December 5, 2011 in Author Blog, Baby Boomers, Creativity, Psychology, Spirituality, writer blog and writing.

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Serendipity and synchronicity are two words that I always get mixed up, yet I am fascinated by them both. As a writer I decided I should use make a more gallant attempt to use the words appropriately, so in the past week I have done some reading. Here’s what I learned. Serendipity refers to happy events which occur by chance, such as when you meet the love of your life at the most opportune time. It is a form of luck in someone’s life. Synchronicity refers to a series of thoughts or events that seem to be related but their connections are not overtly obvious. It is a coincidence that can be accompanied by a feeling that there is a reason or purpose behind occurrences, such as when you keep seeing the same person over and over in different places and think, “ok we should introduce ourselves, there’s a reason we keep running into one another.” These occurrences are usually difficult to explain as was something which happened to me last week.
Every Tuesday night some local writers gather for drinks at a local bar here in Santa Barbara. It’s casual and everyone attends when they can. We all have a great time when we are all together, as if no time passed in between. Due to travel and work load I had not been in about two months, but something compelled me to attend last week. I arrived late and there were no seats left around the table for ten. Two gracious male writers hunted down a chair for me and put it beside the only person I did not know at the table. Her name was Melodie Sullivan. We introduced ourselves to one another. On the table in front of her was a children’s book. “Melody has a new book,” another writer told me from the other side of the table. “That’s awesome,” I said picking it up. There was a beautiful illustration of a caterpillar on the cover and in the lower right corner Melody’s name as the writer and beneath it was “Stanilov Grof, illustrator.” Grof was the keynote speaker at my first seminar at The Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in September where I am doing my doctorate. I had written a blog about him on his fascinating research September 5th, 2011.
I wish I could have seen my face at that moment when I saw his name on the cover of a children’s book, the last place I thought I would see the name of a man who has researched non-ordinary states of consciousness for healing and who has researched the effect of LSD on the psyche!
“How do you know him?” I asked. She sighed and said, “Now that’s a long story.” In short she took one of his breath work seminars. In talking to him she learned that he was an illustrator and when she decided to write a book about one of her dreams, she solicited his illustrations. She told me that his passion in his younger years was to be an illustrator and by some fluke (another interesting story) he ended up studying psychology. I glanced at the bio note on the back flap and there was nothing mentioned about his psychology background. We joked and I said, “I noticed they didn’t mention anything about his work with LSD.
“Ha,” she added, “We decided that would not be something to add to a children’s book and my publicist said that the mention that he was a therapist might, in fact, hurt book sales!”
We laughed together, however, I returned home and thought that was not very comforting for me, the writer who is studying to be a psychologist, but so be it!
I walked away in awe and at home watched a video of Grof reading this fabulous book. If you are in need of a children’s book for a holiday gift, this would be a great option — and might be in line with your studies. Here it is:

Tribute to James Hillman

Published on November 14, 2011 in Author Blog, Creative Nonfiction, Creativity, Psychology and writing.

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(April 12, 1926 – October 27, 2011)

As a new student in psychology the first book we were asked to read in my doctorate program at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology was The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling. This book had a huge impact on me. First, as someone who has numerous degrees from health administration to journalism, to creative nonfiction and now transpersonal psychology, I feel that my soul is still calling me and steering me.

In this book Hillman professes that we are “born with a character; it given; a gift, as the old stories say, from the guardians upon your birth.” His ideas characterize what has been known as the “acorn theory,” whereby it is said that we all hold potential unique characteristics similar to the pattern of an oak tree. In a psychologically healthy life, these unique characteristics are manifested throughout a person’s lifespan, and will be manifested in what is known as their “calling,” or what I prefer to call, “one’s true passion.” The Romans called it “your genius,” and the Greeks called it “your daimon.” Others might call it “your destiny.” Whatever term you are comfortable with works just fine. This concept goes beyond the nature nurture tenet we most often hear about. The acorn theory goes much deeper into the soul or person’s psyche. Sometimes people know their calling early in life and they become possessed by it. This is often seen amongst creative individuals, such as writers, artists and inventors.

My forthcoming book, Writers on the Edge (Modern History Press, February 2012) is a collection of essays written by well-published writers who have not only used writing to help them navigate through tenuous times, but also writers who knew quite early in their lives that they were destined to be writers. Many had turbulent childhoods that resulted in expressing their frustrations creatively through writing. Interestingly, in terms of general success, Hillman says, “According to biographers, the source of success appears to lie in a mother’s doting—or in her neglectful selfishness, which forces an offspring out on its own.”

Hillman passed away on October 27, 2011 at the age of 85. He was a psychologist, scholar, lecturer and author of more than twenty books. He’s considered a Jungian analyst originated the post-Jungian “archetypical psychology.” This branch of psychology identifies with fantasies and myths (gods, goddesses, demigods, mortals and animals), which he claimed, shape and are shaped by our psychological lives. Hillman taught in numerous academic and professional institutions including, Yale University, Syracuse University, the University of Chicago and others. He passed away in his home in Connecticut.

Journaling in China

Published on November 7, 2011 in Author Blog, Blog, Creativity, Musings, The Sacred Space, writer blog, writing and Writing, journaling.

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I just returned from two spectacular but exhausting weeks in China, visiting Shanghai, Xian, Hangzou and Beijing. Traveling always inspires new perspectives and a multitude of journaling ideas and angles. If you were to ask what was my favorite part, I would simply say, the part that I was visiting at the time. Their world is so different than our world that I walked around each and every day in amazement. Particularly captivating was the long historical backdrop of the dynasties and the lives of the emperors and how much time was spent in making the emperor’s lives so superior during their lifetimes and in the afterlife. The palaces and mausoleums left me in awe, saying nothing about the number of concubines each emperor had. As someone who has been reading a great deal on Buddhism, I was also amazed by the gigantic temples and number of larger than life-size Buddhas. Here is a summary of the trips highlights:

Shanghai. At the airport I was glad to be greeted by a guide, because no signs were in English. There was a sense of culture shock in other ways also, such as not being able to access certain aspects of the internet from Google to social networking sites. In some areas, internet was either not possible or intermittent in a way that had little to do with remoteness, but more as a result of government control over services. This city has been considered the Paris of the east because of its women and sex clubs. In general, it was not as congested, polluted or dirty as I imagined. Many of the city’s sensibilities were a merging of east and west, the businesses and the fashion, for example. What I witnessed were the results of a massive growth spurt during the last 15 years. We visited the Shanghai Museum, an eclectic collection of relics, bowls, phenomenal Buddhas and more. We visited what was known as the Jewish Quarter or by western definition, the tenement quarters, where three or four families lived in an area smaller than my kitchen. I had heard about all the Jews who fled the Nazis to land here, but I had no idea about their enormous influence on the city’s growth. Philanthropist businessmen like Viktor Sassoon and the Kadoorie family who owned many of the city’s hotels, made their productive mark in so many parts of the city.

The Chinese people have sayings about everything – I could not write quickly enough. Some made immediate sense while others I needed to ponder. Here are only some which I quickly scribbled down while the guides interjected their wisdom into their historical discussions:

• the bird is a messenger to heaven
• the peach is a symbol of longevity and has nine lives. good to give as a gift
• bamboo is loved by the Chinese as they see it as meaning a long life. they should always be upright as this means there should always be something to learn
• Chinese coins are always round (symbolizes heaven) and square (symbolizes earth)
• Buddha was born under the gingko tree therefore it is considered a Buddhist plant
• Do not step on thresholds because they are thought to be the shoulders of Buddhas and should never be stepped upon.
• The Chinese (or people in general) believe in religion because it guides you and gives you parameters
• Laughing Buddhas hold a bag with troubles in their hand. They fill them up and forget them. I love this idea and will try to incorporate it in my life!
• In talking about relatives – they like when their family lives ‘soup distance,’ away, meaning that by the time you bring soup it will still be warm. Not many of us in the United States have this luxury, and certainly with all three of my kids on the east coast, I do not, but look forward to possibly one day being able to bring my homemade soup to them!
• The lotus is a symbol of purity and integrity.
• The Lily flower is used at weddings and signifies the couple will have a harmonious life for 100 years to come. Never use willows because if a woman is compared to a willow it means that she is flirtatious. However, if a woman is compared to a lotus, it means she is a natural beauty and does not need make up. Speaking of marriage– The Chinese say that the husband makes all the important decisions, but it’s the wife who decides what’s important!

Hangzhou. I loved this place. Our hotel was situated on beautiful West Lake. The first night we saw a water show of an unusual sort. There was a stage about three inches under the water, spanning the lake and the performers/dancers were dressed in traditional attire. They were like dancing fish performing a remarkable love story. Absolutely spectacular, with large boats and little row boats taking the lovers off into the sunset.

Hangzhou has been known as a honeymoon town and hometown of silk and tea. As a lover of green tea, I adored the private tour of the Mei family tea plantation and tea ceremony known for the best green tea in China, especially Dragon Well tea. (BTW, after buying boxes and bags of the stuff, I heard that we can get this tea, although a lesser quality, at Teavanna which is only minutes from my house!) This tea has three qualities, depending upon the season in which it was harvested. By the way, the water for a good cup of tea should not be brewed in a temperature more than 85 degrees. The hotter the water, the more bitter the leaves. The best time to drink is 30 minutes after meals as it aids in digestion. There is a big statue of Lu Yu (Literati) because he was considered the father of Chinese tea. He wrote the first book on Chinese Tea. I will never use tea bags again and I might have figured out why the Chinese women have such good figures.

We visited an herbal pharmacy that has been in business for centuries. I learned that herbal medicine consists of herbs, animal parts and mineral rocks.

Beijing. The great wall goes on and on. We were on the west side of the wall and took a cable car part of the way. The towers were built first and it’s amazing they even built a wall on this very mountainous terrain…there were a few times when I wondered about its real purpose! Visiting Tiananenmen Square and the mausoleum of Chairman Mao was a powerful way to end the trip. There were many visitors on this week day and we were told that many younger families bring their older relatives to remind them of the way things were. It was fascinating to see the history sweep across the faces of the seniors who vividly remember the perils of the Communist Regime. Our guide told us that two things the Chinese really value is their food and their freedom—and after visiting China, I can attest to this, even though I don’t think I will have another bowl of rice or marinated meat for a long time. We welcomed a big platter of French fries on our last evening out.

One last thing. When we asked the guide what American tourist attractions they associate with us, he said, Hollywood and Vegas! Now that’s a thought to ponder! No mention of the Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty, Mount Rushmore, The White House or The Grand Canyon!

Remembering Steve Jobs

Published on October 10, 2011 in Author Blog, Creativity, Musings, Uncategorized and writer blog.

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Dear Readers:

Last week’s news about Steve Job’s passing left me speechless. It’s not that we were not all expecting it, but it just seems that sometimes we just get a sense that some people are immortal. He was one of those individuals. Jobs was a brilliant human being, innovator and visionary who will remain in our hearts and in our lives for a very long time. People often ask me how I am so efficient. In all honesty, I could not do all I do without Jobs–his creativity and innovations. His creations have made work fun. My MAC is like a friend … reliable and always there for me. My iPhone has become my confidant and I don’t go anywhere without it and if I do, I turn around and return home to retrieve it. It’s my connection with the world and with myself. Thank you Steve Jobs for everything. May you rest in peace…

I would like to share the wonderful words on the Apple Website:

Remembering Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs
1955-2011

Apple has lost a visionary and creative genius, and the world has lost an amazing human being. Those of us who have been fortunate enough to know and work with Steve have lost a dear friend and inspiring mentor. Steve leaves behind a company that only he could have built, and his spirit will forever be the foundation of Apple.

If you would like to share your thoughts, memories and condolences, please email rememberingsteve@apple.com

Journaling (Non-Religious) Spirituality

Published on September 26, 2011 in Author Blog, Baby Boomers, Creativity, Journaling, Musings, Psychology, Spirituality, The Dalai Lama and writer blog.

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Over the years I have oscillated back and forth on a spiritual continuum. After much contemplation I have come to the conclusion that I am a spiritual person but not a religious person. My spiritual journey began at the age of ten, when my mother gave me a red leather journal with Khalil Gibran sayings on the top of each page to help me cope with the then recent death of my grandmother. “Write down your feelings,” she told me, in an effort to help me through the loss. Gibran’s words of wisdom resonated with me at a deep level. His ideas also gave me something to grasp onto as I navigated through the pain and searched for reasons why she might have taken her life.

After my grandmother’s death, I also tried to find solace in traditional Passover rituals, but they just confused me. Not only did I not understand Hebrew, I didn’t even understand what the prayers meant in English and nothing was ever explained to me. As an only child of working immigrant parents I was taught to take things at face value and not look beyond.

During my early college years, I continued to search for meaning and signed up for an introductory course in transcendental meditation (TM) with Mahareshi Mahesh Yogi. The first meeting was held in an old two-story mansion. After being greeted by two young smiling women with ponytails and a sparkle in their eyes, we were escorted into the dining room where chairs were lined up in church-like fashion. When all of the seats were occupied, Maharishi gave an introduction into the practice of TM.

When the time came to raise my family, the question of religion surfaced once again. My husband and I decided to do what my father did and continued to be “Minimalist Jews,” meaning we would follow the holiday traditions, but remain unaffiliated. When our children began questioning, we chose to handle it differently than my own parents. We booted up our computers and bought some reference books and researched the meaning behind all the Jewish traditions. Fortunately, this information was much more accessible than during my own childhood where the only resource was typically the World Book Encyclopedia.

After my father passed away in 1991, we slowly abandoned many of the Jewish traditions and accentuated with our kids the simple importance of being honest, being a good person and practicing loving kindness. I also encouraged my children to meditate and take yoga classes.

In 2008 when the Dalai Lama visited my home town, I found myself passionately yanked into and moved by his words. Buddhist beliefs resonated with me at a deep level, perhaps because many are similar to those of the Jewish tradition instilled in me by my father. Others were simply common sense reminders of the importance of goodness. Here are only a few of his powerful tenets: be kind to others, whether your beliefs are similar or not; cultivate a habit of inner discipline; when our hearts are filled with love, there is no room for suspicion; one of the most beautiful aspects of being human is being able to smile; our attitude is critical for inner peace; negative thoughts and emotions obstruct our basic aspirations for happiness; and compassion belongs in every sphere of activity.

My spiritual journey has evolved from following mysterious rituals in childhood to seeing the clarity of Buddhist beliefs today. Losing my grandmother and the other sad moments in my life have made me appreciate the good times. I now welcome compassion and the fine art of living. Although Buddhism has many facets, the basic tenets of caring for and acting out of the concern for others, regardless of our religious traditions unites people, rather than dividing. This idea is so important during these tenuous and challenging times as we all search and struggle for some global meaning and sense of internal and external peace.

The Magic of Number Ten

Published on August 22, 2011 in Author Blog, Creative Nonfiction, Creativity, General Information, Healing With Words, Health, Health and Wellness, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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I believe in and have a high regard for the number ten. In many ways, it’s regarded as the perfect number. Today, I have even more reason to believe in this number as I celebrate the 10th anniversary of my breast cancer survival. In my self-help memoir, Healing With Words: A Writer’s Cancer Journey, you can read about my journey. Also, at the end of each chapter there are writing prompts for you to do your own writing, whether about cancer or other life-changing events.

While we are on the ten-year-thing, here are some other reasons why I believe 10 is an important number:

• The number 10 implies a sense of completeness and full cycle
• A scale of 1 to 10 is used for ranking things
• There are 10 pins in a bowling lane
• There are 10 official inkblots in the Rorschach inkblot test
• The Snellen chart uses 10 different letters
• We have 10 digits on both our hands and feet
• Ten plagues were inflicted on Egypt in Exodus
• There are 10 Commandments – the cornerstone of Christianity and Judaism
• Jews observe 10 days of Repentance from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur
• There are 10 provinces in Canada
• In the Torah, Jews give 1/10 the of their produce to the poor
• The number 10 is the base of our number system
• In numerology the number 10 brings all sorts of new changes in your life

And finally Verse 10 in Jack Kerouac’s Sutra (Scripture of the Golden Eternity, 1960) says this:

“Kindness and sympathy, understanding and encouragement, these give; they are better than just presents and gifts: no reason in the world why not.”
~ Jack Kerouac

Research on Demand

Published on August 1, 2011 in 1960s, Author Blog, Creative Nonfiction, Creativity, Memory, Musings, New York Times and writing.

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Because of technology, the world seems to be moving faster. In a recent New York Times article by James Gleick entitled, “Books and Other Fetishes,” (July 16, 2011), he discusses the role of digital media in the search for historical information. The raw material of history appears to be heading for the clouds. What was once hard is now easy. What was slow seems to now be fast, he summarizes.

It appears as if Europe has jumped on the bandwagon of using digitial media to capture historical information, quicker than us. Last month, the British Library announced a project in collaboration with Google which would digitize 40 million pages of books, pamphlets and periodicals dating back to the French Revolution. Of course there’s speculation that Europeans simply have more history to work with than we do, a good excuse for the need for digitalization.

There is a school of thought that this sort of thing called, “techno-enthusiasm” can potentially cheapen scholarship. An English historian Tristain Hung said, “When everything is downloadable, the mystery of history can be lost.”

In fact, my favorite part of school back in the sixties and seventies was going to the library and cracking open volumes of books and journals looking through the table of contents and indexes for answers to my research projects. I was always a research buff and continue to be one. Furthermore, it had additional entertainment value because of the opportunity to meander over to the photocopy machine to copy relevant pages to bring home. Forgive me if I am getting too nostalgic, but I do think we were previously more mindful back then, creating memories one moment at a time.

Doing research back then was simply more alluring, exciting and mysterious, whereas now it might simply involve one or two clicks on the computer. The magic and sense of discovery is minimized. Maybe I am just old-fashioned and love the old way better in the same way that I miss visiting bookstores vs. browsing online.

This reminds me of a time a few weeks ago when I visited the nearest chain bookstore, now a thirty-minute drive from my house. I phoned a writer friend from the reference section and said, “Guess where I am? I am at the Barnes and Noble in Ventura and am so excited to be here. I miss this.”

“I know what you mean,” he said. “I could easily live on the floor of a bookstore.” Now that might just be every writer’s fantasy.

Back to the subject of research. Maybe I am a believer in hard work producing results, thus spending long hours researching in the library or bookstore seems gratifying. The sense of serendipity and chance also seems to be lost during this new digital age.

I guess I better just buckle down and face the changes around me. Who am I fooling? I am aging; times are changing and the world moves on….

Wake Up Calls

Published on July 25, 2011 in Author Blog, Creativity, Healing With Words, Health and Wellness, Journals, July, Musings, Spirituality, writer blog, Writing for healing and Writing, journaling.

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At one point in your life, you will have what is commonly known as a “wake up call,” or an “ah-ha moment” chances are you will be happier when a health problem causes you to wake up and pay attention to yourself and your body. A wake-up call is a cause for action. In fact, having a wake-up call can save your life. You never know when this might happen or how many wake up calls you might encounter in your lifetime, but in addition to taxes and death, these events are sure to arrive.

I have been blessed with numerous wake-up calls. I say blessed because they have all served me as inspiration and material for my life as a writer. As a result, my philosophy has been to embrace any difficulties or tumultuous times by trying to turn a negative experience into a positive one. In essence, it’s easier to understand and appreciate the light after we have experienced the dark.

Much of the key to happiness is making the most of a wake-up call. Recently, I picked up a book called, The Way of The Happy Woman by Sara Avant Stover which reminded me of the importance of tapping into these moments. The author suggests illuminating our compassion, beauty, sensuality, nurturing, creativity and receptivity – all attributes which remind us of who we are.

Although the book is written for women—the principles really apply to both sexes. It reminds us to embrace who we are and to honor self-love as a key to happiness and continued good health.

According to Stover, “Love is the essence of who we are. She says, and I agree, that at the end of our lives what really matters is “How well we loved.”

The basic tenet of the book is to simply slow down. As the Buddhists advocate—live in the moment. Stover says that the Chinese character for busyness translates as ‘heart killing.’

Summer is a fabulous time to slow down, watch the flowers grow and children play. Summer is also a good time to crack open a new journal. I was delighted that in the book’s first chapter, Stover had an extensive section on how to do this. She discussed the power of journaling and how over the course of her lifetime, journals have been her best friend and were there for her as she chronicled various milestones. She provides many similar journaling tips as I do in my own classes. For example:

• visit your favorite book or stationary store and choose a journal which resonates with you
• write your name and the date on the top of the page
• make a list of what’s on your mind at this moment and/or something you have not been able to talk to anyone about
• from your list choose the one you most want to explore in your journal
• list three of your strongest emotions about the situation and where you feel them in your body
• write three ways you can support yourself during difficult times (i.e. deep breathing, walking, exercising, meditating, gratitude journaling)

This book offers many tips, but I think the most pertinent one is that journaling will help you with self-expression which is also important when it comes to your connection with others, and saying what is on your mind, and helping your figure out what brings you pleasure.

So whether you have had a recent wake-up call or not, try this: Tomorrow morning, wake up and say, “Today I choose happiness.”

The Full Moon’s Effects

Published on July 18, 2011 in Author Blog, Creativity, Depression, Health, Journaling, Musings, writer blog and writing.

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We have all heard that the full moon can affect human behavior and this past week’s full moon (June 15th), had a huge affect on me. I particularly recall the effects of the full moon from my days practicing as a registered nurse and the number of patients we admitted into the hospital during and around the full moon; often for baby deliveries and other ailments.

I’m not quite sure why this most recent full moon had such a dramatic affect on me. It seemed to last three or four days. During that time, I was energetic and the most discerning part was that no matter how tired I was at night I was unable to fall asleep. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling even though I avoided coffee late in the day.

The full moon represents fertility, celebration and a sense of completion. It has a tendency to give us an energy surge and also heightens our emotions. It is already known that the full moon increases the concentration of positive ions in the atmosphere resulting in both positive and negative effects which might . fluctuations in hormonal balance, hyperactivity, increased creativity, depression, road rage and migraines.

For the most part, people are affected by this increase in positive ions, while few people are affected by negative ions. Increased positive ions tends to cause an increase in serotonin in the way that anti-depressants do. For those of us who live in California, winds such as the Santa Ana winds also release positive ions in the atmosphere. So if you feel good during those winds then that might be why!

Research has shown that creative individuals, such as writers, who are working on a particular project may find that they are likely to get more ideas and thoughts pertaining to their project, creativity and writing These types of thoughts will arise out of the creative part of our brains.
During the full moon days, some people believe that their spiritual thoughts are also heightened because Spirituality lies in the sub-conscious part of the mind.

So what suggestions do I have for the full moon time of the month? From my readings, I concur that you should not fight this wonderful energy surge by taking medications or by using other crutches, but rather, try to embrace the energy and use it to your advantage. Stay up late and create. Go with the flow of what you are feeling. Write in your journal about what happened during the past month and what you might have accomplished or thought about. Think about what you want to do different in the coming month. Some people also recommend taking care of yourself in other ways during the full moon, such as eating wholesome foods, such as soups and eating more fresh fruits and vegetables.

Since you have no idea what affects the full moon will have on you, it has been suggested that you refrain from making any major decisions during the days surrounding the full moon.

To prepare you, here are the upcoming full moon dates for the remaining months of 2011:

August 13
September 12
October 12
November 10
December 10

Namaste,
Diana

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Published on June 13, 2011 in Anais Nin, cathartic writing, Creativity, Decisions, Heuristic, inspiration, Wray Herbert, writer blog and Writers and Their Notebooks.

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I often tell my students that if they are encountering turbulent times or having difficulty making a decision, whether it is large or small, they should use their journal to help figure out their answers. No doubt, some decisions are easier to make than others. Writing in your journal can help you make decisions by identifying the potential risks and gains of a situation. Journaling can help you come to grips with what is really going on. Writing empowers us.

In a recent article in U.S. News & World Report (special edition: Secrets of Your Brain) there was an excerpt from a new book called, One Second-Thought: Outsmarting Your Minds’ Hard-Wired Habits by Wray Herbert. The author discusses the concept of heuristics which refers to the experience-based techniques which help us make decisions. He discusses how over time humans have evolved these cognitive rules of thumb. Heuristics can help us efficiently navigate the many choices we are faced with every day. The author postulates that even though heuristics comes in handy, they are at times imperfect and irrational. Sometimes using heuristics can be a trap because we might become lazy and not think through certain decisions.

The author discusses the various types of heuristics, including: the familiarity heuristic, default heuristic and the acceptance heuristic. The familiarity heuristic is a result of habit and experience and it is almost automatic. The default heuristic refers to us having a powerful bias for sticking with a decision we have once made. In other words, we don’t want to rock the boat. It’s the safe, stay-the-course impulse which, in the past has provided good results. Constant switching back and forth about what to do, can be perilous, in regard to all decisions including financial and romantic. As a result we have become adverse to hopping around. The acceptance heuristic illustrates our overpowering tendency to make choices which others approve of. It’s about being safe and feeling a sense of belonging to society. This is connected to the idea of group dynamics.

Many studies have been done on the subject of decision-making. While some people have difficulty making decisions and are scared about the possibility of making the wrong decision, others find the task of making a decision quite easy.

My readings taught me that those with the following traits, tend to make easier and more efficient decisions:

1. good self-esteem
2. honesty with oneself
3. loving oneself
4. having courage

One of the best ways to make a personal decision is through self-talk and one of the best ways to do this is through the practice of regular journaling.

“Once you make a decision, says Emerson, “the universe conspires to make it happen.”